Hetalia: Just The Way You Are
by jillyred
Summary: A teacher named Ludwig Diederich at a local secondary school helps a young Arthur Kirkland to rid himself of his unbearable loneliness. With the help of close friends and a distant Pen Pal name Alfred F. Jones. AU UKUS, GerIta and others. First fan fic
1. Chapter 1

Prologue: Just the Way You Are

_Inadvertently he had become my one and only friend, and he was miles away where he couldn't even help me when I was down. I felt so lonely that nothing seemed to have any colour in them anymore, my face was always turned down in a permanent frown, and I couldn't find any energy left to smile anymore. I guess this always happened to people like me so it wasn't unnatural that this was occurring, there wasn't much I could really do about it either. Had to push on through, push on past the bad, keep on surviving, one step forward._

_I just really wished I had at least one person who cared about me, one person to tell me you're great and I love you, so don't do anything stupid. There was no one like that, not anywhere and that is why I simple couldn't face the world anymore. I looked down at the swirling water beneath me and realised how it welcomed me, how it taunted me. Oh god was I scared!_

_My hands were loosening and I let my grip fail, let myself be tipped forwards by the wind and my own faltering balance. I closed my eyes and let gravity and my body free. Soon I was falling through the air and it was the most liberating thing in the world, like I was flying. After what felt like lifetimes but was probably seconds my body hit the ice cold water below. The water began to batter and pull at my body, pulling my forwards and downward, sloshing me this way and that causing my body to his the large concretes walls of the bridge, causing the last breath in my body to be expelled by force. Then the water came flooding in and my vision dimmed and my body grew limp._

_I was in a white abyss, no one could hurt me here, I was safe I was untouchable. I laughed and the echo was infinite, it carried on through the nothingness forever and forever. I felt so free floating here, and I finally felt a little drop of peace, I had always wondered what freedom and happiness felt like. I was there for years and minutes I wasn't even aware of time anymore. Soon noises caught me in my emptiness. Quiet distant noises but no matter which way I looked I couldn't see them._

_A small quiet sobbing broke through my white world, and it made my heart hurt. "Arthur, please don't leave me" The voice echoed around my cavern, and I couldn't find it. There was no person to that voice, but it enticed me, it intrigued me and oddly it felt incredibly familiar._


	2. Chapter 2

Hetalia: Just the Way You Are

Chapter One

"Today in class we are going to set up a pen pal system, we want you to make new friends, gain knowledge of other countries and just generally learn something new. I have addresses and emails from schools abroad that also want to do the exchange programme. I will call your name and give you the person who you have been assigned to" Mr Diederich called from the head of the class. Mr. Diederich was tall, broad and had slicked back blonde hair with shiny blue eyes and he looked at the class and they all looked back at him with a dull expression on their faces. They barely seemed to be paying any attention. Mr. Diederich, Ludwig to everyone else, sighed sadly, he had enjoyed the pen pal system a lot when he was in school, that was how he found Feliciano and they have now been together for over a year.

Feli, as Ludwig liked to call him, had been living with him for the entire year, after flying over from Italy after years of writing, emailing and calling they had both realised they wanted to meet. After the first meeting they realised how much they felt for each other and when Ludwig returned to England Feli was distraught and soon realised he didn't want to be away from his 'Luddy' again. After a month of being apart Feli had sold his house, quit his job and packed away his life and flew to England with no plans for work or even a place to live. So naturally Ludwig set him up in his house and they haven't been apart since.

Ludwig smiled a little to himself and his heart swelled with emotion as he recalled the memory of seeing a soaking wet Feli at his door. He had screamed and launched himself at Ludwig then dissolved into tears because of the tiredness that overwhelmed him. Ludwig had to drag him into the house and then unpack his bags and pay for the taxi that bought him here. In that time Feli had passed out on the bed and was fast asleep while Ludwig prepared him some pasta for his dinner.

Ludwig looked up at his class and then began to call out the names and they walked up to him slowly and a little grudgingly and took the names of their prospective pen pals. "Arthur," Ludwig called quietly. He stood from the back of the class the scowl prominent on his face and walked forward hastily. Ludwig sighed sadly, he knew that Arthur was having trouble with his class mates, and even if Ludwig reported it, Arthur refused to take any help at all. He smiled at the boy who looked back at him with an unwavering glare. "There you go, your pen pals name is Alfred F. Jones from America" The class tittered and giggled which confused Ludwig a little whilst Arthur's face grew a little red.

After all the names had been distributed Ludwig called the class to quieten down again. "Ok, because we are initiating the system our side is going to start with sending a letter. I want you all to write a letter to your pen pal, it can contain whatever you want it to" the class jumped into conversation quickly but Ludwig shushed them again. "But, I will be reading over them, we don't want to offend any of our pen pals" Some of the class groaned a little and Ludwig rolled his eyes, he set them to their writing task and began to grade some papers letting them chat as they worked.

Ludwig's phone began to buzz in his pocket and he called to the class that he would be just outside the door for a minute or two and then left in a hurry.

"Hello?"

"Ve~ Luddy, I'm sorry for disrupting you but I found this cat! It is so cute can we keep it?" Despite himself Ludwig smiled at his adorable boyfriend, normally he would never show such emotion but ever since he met Feli he couldn't help himself.

"No" He said simply.

"Ve~ But Luddy he is too cute to let go, you have to see him. I will keep him until you get home and then you decide" He said laughing a little in the background.

"Feli, take him back wherever you got him"

"Luddy" Feli whined to him, he really wanted the cat. Ludwig sighed and pressed his fingers against his eyes, how could he ever say no to his Feli?

"Fine" He said simply. No need to waste words.

"Ve! Yay Luddy you are the best!" He shouted down the phone at Ludwig, squealing with excitement. "I can't wait for you to get home, I miss you" He said a little more calmly. Ludwig blushed a bright red and coughed a little.

"I miss you too" He said and hung up the phone, hurrying back into the classroom. Some of his students were scribbling into their paper while others were barley paying any attention and merely talking to each other, Ludwig also caught a paper airplane as he walked into the class. He decided to search around the classroom and investigate the contents of the letters that were being written. Most of them were fairly basic, merely small talk, which was understandable at this stage but Ludwig hoped they would gain some good friends. He finally reached Arthur at the back of the class; he had seemingly finished his letter and was now doodling in his large art book. The letter said very simply;

_I am Arthur Kirkland. How's the weather over there?_

Ludwig smiled to himself that was definitely the shortest letter in the class, even those who were barely paying attention had written more. "Are you not going to write anymore?" He asked the boy.

"Nope"

"Oh, is there not anything you want to ask?" His brow furrowed and he was frowning a little. He wished that Arthur would be more responsive, Ludwig tried so hard to integrate him with the class, but it seemed he simply didn't want to.

"No" He replied again. Ludwig sighed slightly but took the letter to the head of the class anyway and looked for Alfred F. Jones address. Poor kid, Ludwig thought, expecting a fun letter and he was getting a line. Ludwig returned to grading papers and when the clock finally showed there were five minutes remaining of class he stood up and stood up and motioned for them to quiet down. "Ok, if everyone puts there letters on my desk as you leave then we can get them sent. Make sure you put the names of who you are sending it too so I know who to address it to" He smiled at the class and silently told them that they were dismissed. They all grabbed their belongings and were chattering loudly leaving the classroom in a flourish after placing their papers on the desk.

Ludwig sat heavily down at his desk and sighed, he was so glad it was lunch time now; he pulled out his small lunch box from his desk and began to mark the papers once more. Barely noticing the small note attached to his sandwich he bit into it and coughed out the paper in a much undignified manner he looked at the note that said simply, _I love you Luddy. _It made Ludwig's day all that much brighter.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur was in another foul mood, not that he really had any other mood in his emotion basket. He simple detested school and everything about it he growled when his locker wouldn't open and punched it angrily. Arthur was a fifthteen year old secondary school student with light blonde messy hair that never did what it was told. He tried to brush and tame it multiple times but nothing ever came of it, in fact, he swore it made it look even worse. He had very bushy eyebrows that seemed just a little bit too big for his face and they were just another thing that cursed him when he was born into this world, he had tried plucking but they only came back bushier and with a vengeance. So he simply left them as they were, growing like caterpillars over his forehead. He was lucky when it came to the rest of his face, he was nearly always blemish free so his skin was smooth and the pale white that accompanied it was nearly white. It was beautiful and yet a little eerie at the same time, many people had told him he was too pale and yet it made him look good. However, Arthur's most promising future were his blazing green eyes, they were fiery and yet tame, the deep green shone with an effervescent grace and glinted in the bright sun. They seemingly changed colour whichever angle he was, a pale green and then the next a dark brooding colour that made him seem older than he was.

After he finally got his locker open he wandered towards the lunch hall to see if he could get to eat something this time. He stepped into the cafeteria line and waited patiently until he was served his food and then wandered back to sit at an unoccupied table, he sat down quickly and began to eat. Shovelling the food down fairly quickly before it was stolen from under him. He saw the on duty teacher look at him curiously while he forced food down his throat, but she smiled nonetheless. "Slow down a bit love" She added quietly. He nodded and slowed the pace down slightly.

He finished fairly quickly and left the hall to get away from the inane chatter and noise and to the quiet of the mostly empty halls. He decided to head towards the library instead, after all with the sun high in the sky everyone was most likely to be outside. When Arthur reached the small school library there were only three students in the main area, he decided to wind through the shelves, get a book and sit somewhere secluded and alone. He soon found a novel that he liked the sound of and rushed over to a table, plonking his bag onto the floor and ripping over the front cover hastily.

He had barely read the first paragraph when a small note had been thrown in front of his face; it made him jump in fright but looking round saw nobody near. After all he had hidden himself down one of the long aisles of books. He nervously opened the note and scanned it quickly. Then he realised how stupid he had been, he felt the tears nervously prick at his eyes, he ran from the library pulling along his bag and running into the toilets. He thrust his fingers deep into his throat and purged himself, wiping his face with his shaking hands.

"Are you ok in there?" A voice asked from behind the door.

"Y-yeah" Arthur replied horrified. He couldn't believe he didn't check who was in here, oh no this was horrible.

"Arthur? Is that you? Are you sick?" It was Mr. Diederich; he gently rapped his knuckles on the door and asked him to open it. Arthur stood and opened the door, stepping past him and walking to the sink. He washed his hands quickly, trying to hurry up and leave before he asked anymore questions. Ludwig reached forward and felt Arthur's head, it wasn't warm.

"Do you want to come and sit in my room for lunch? Might be more peaceful in there for you?" Arthur looked at him cautiously then nodded his head weakly, and followed Ludwig from the bathroom. They walked together down the empty hall as together as they comfortably felt, Arthur a few steps behind. He walked to his desk and sat behind it, pulling his lunch towards him again and grabbing a red pen so he could mark more papers.

Arthur pulled a book from his bag and quietly read the story he had delved into earlier in the library. He had not been aware of the time and completely missed the sound of the bell. "Arthur, it might be a good idea to get to class now" Arthur jumped a little at the noise but looked at Mr. Diederich standing above him. He nodded slowly and shoved his book back into his bag and walked from the quiet room. He paused at the door wrestling with something inside of him, his face almost looked pained as he tried to think. Ludwig was watching him quietly and the boy didn't look back at him.

"Thanks" He said softly and left the room in a rush, Ludwig smiled.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Ludwig was finally on his way home at six thirty as he usually did; he always ended up losing track of time when grading papers and preparing for the next day's lessons. He had been looking through some of the work that his students had been doing for the English class and when he reached Arthurs he found himself in tears, his work was so heartfelt, well-written and unbearably lonely. How something so beautiful could be so filled with hurt and pain, he shook his head uncomfortably and indicated left into his street.

He had posted all the letters for the pen pal scheme and now it was left up to the students to do the rest. They had three months of corresponding before the finally surprise came out; he hoped that many of them would participate in it as he and Feli had done. He was secretly hoping Arthur would do so, he knew that it would be good for the boy; he would just have to keep an eye on all the students. He was planning on updating with them in a week or so, see if they got any responses and what they were planning to write back. However, he didn't want to invade their privacy too much.

Ludwig slowed and gently drifted into the drive way, slowing to a halt and hoping out of the car then proceeded to the boot where he pulled out his briefcase and his empty lunch box. He smiled to himself when he remembered opening the box that day, Feli had packed it carefully and lovingly and left a small note in it for him. Those simple words seemed as though Feli was there with him, everything about it emanated him and it made his entire day that much happier. He yawned a little and slammed the boot closed then locked the car; he was still smiling to himself as he walked to the front door of their home. Swinging the door open quietly and stepping over the threshold.

He quietly pulled of his uncomfortable work shows and placed them in the cupboard in favour for some warm slippers; he sighed with contentment and dropped his keys in the light blue ceramic dish on the side by the door. Then placed his briefcase next to the table and worked his way down the hall to the kitchen, throwing his lunch box in the sink and trudging to the front room. He switched on the television and grabbed the remote from the top of it then flumped onto the sofa. Ludwig flicked through the channels not really paying any attention to what was playing on the set and eventually settled for BBC One and then flopped the remote down by his side, he leaned his head against the back of the sofa closing his eyes tiredly.

He slowly felt arms wrap around his neck and holding him close, a small kiss pressed on his cheek and his neck. He smiled in the embrace and raised his hands to grip Feli's arms gently stroking him in return. "Ve~ welcome home Luddy, I didn't hear you come in" He spoke softly with an air of guilt. Ludwig looked up at his lover and smiled happily, Feliciano had beautiful auburn hair that reached just above his chin, and it was smooth and glossy and was mostly straight apart from the devious little hair that poked upwards, defying gravity. It was untameable no matter how many times Feli had tried to press it down, it had defied him each time, stretching upwards defiantly whilst curling at the end, Ludwig thought it was adorable. He had a smooth face and a small pointy chin with deep dark chocolate brown eyes, which sometimes when the light hit them correctly, burned a dark fiery orange. Ludwig knew he was beautiful.

Ludwig was so grateful for having Feli here, he had been alone for so long and now he never had to be and he wouldn't want it any other way. "Sorry, I should have called to you. Were you working on your art again?" He asked softly, closing his eyes again and leaning backwards into Feli's touch, he slowly began to stroke his hair.

"Ve~ yes, I was working on a large portrait this time; I got really distracted and completely forgot to eat any lunch, so it'll be a big dinner ok?" He giggled warmly and kissed Ludwig's cheek again. Ludwig sighed at his boyfriend's helplessness but couldn't stay genuinely mad. "Are you ok ~ve?"

"Yeah" He sighed softly. "I guess I am just worried about one of my students" He said tensely.

"Ve~ what's wrong with him?"

"I am not sure, but he threw up in the bathroom today and I don't think he is ill, I am a little worried he might be bulimic. But there isn't much I can do unless I have more proof" He said softly, his brow furrowed as he thought quietly to himself about how he could better handle the situation.

"Ve~ with you as a teacher I am sure that he will get all the help he needs" Ludwig smiled a big smile again and looped his arms behind him. He gripped the small Italian form and pulled him over the sofa and dropping him into his lap. He smiled at the small squeak Feli had made when moved so suddenly and kissed him on the nose. Feli giggled his tinkling bells giggle that made Ludwig's belly fill with butterflies and he looked deep into Ludwig's eyes.

"I am so glad you suggested the pen pal scheme to me, I am hoping it will help out my students a bit. It definitely helped me. I was so lonely before I had you" He smiled down at his boyfriend, whose face lit up bashfully, making Ludwig smirk joyously. He honestly couldn't imagine his life without Feli here, yes sometimes they fought but they were never real arguments, nothing serious and most of it was spent like this. Happy in each other's arms.

"Ve~ I am going to make dinner, I am sure you are hungry too" He smiled happily and reached up wrapping his arms around Ludwig. Ludwig responded by snuggling into Feli's neck, kissing him softly in his sensitive places. Ludwig was very happy, Feli was also very happy, they had a comfortable life, living off Ludwig's teacher salary and the money he inherited and now quite often Feli was getting money for his art. He was working on a commission that had been requested of him so he hoped it meant he would soon get more requests and therefore more money to support them both. Not that either of them really needed it, they were happy enough to just have each other.

~o-O-0-O-0-o~

Arthur walked home to an empty house and walked to his cold bedroom and threw his bag angrily at a wall. He wondered when his neglectful mother would return home this time, last time it had been a month away with her boyfriend. She had already been gone for a week and it didn't look like she would be back any time soon, Arthur was lucky he was given money from his father. His father never wanted anything directly to do with Arthur but felt he had to help out somehow so he set up a bank account for Arthur and put a considerable amount into it to start with. As soon as Arthur was held to be responsible his father had given him a debit card, his father knew what his mother was like and wanted Arthur to be able to fend for himself.

Now his father topped up once a month, not that it really needed it because of the amount that was already in it. At first Arthur didn't know why his father chose to give him this money but eventually he found out that his father was incredibly wealthy and had a family of his own, the money barely dented his bank account. The money to him was seen as silence money so he could keep his meanderings well away from his deluded family. Arthur had been to their home once when he was younger, his father had introduced him as a play date for the youngest child in the home whose name was Peter. Arthur was only five at the time and never noticed the harsh looks he was getting from the older siblings; they weren't very kind to him at all.

Arthur only went there once more after that and then his father had paid him off through his mother, they lived in a decent three bed house and had everything taken care of. His father met up with him once of a year since then to check on him, make sure he is on the straight and narrow. Even though he didn't particularly care about Arthur he had always told him that if it ever came out into the open he would like to say his illegitimate son is doing well. He wanted Arthur to succeed for the sake of his own image, if it ever came to that, and because of his own personal pride. Arthur found it perplexing but he continued to please the old man, at least he showed some sort of gratitude and relief when he continued to produce a perfect set of exam results. Arthur was lost in his train of thoughts and suddenly shook his head quietly; he walked down to the kitchen and began to cook some food for himself.

His mother was a different story, she was young drunk and charmed by the married man watching her dance. Naturally she had used her charms on him, not that he needed any to be seduced by her, and they tumbled drunkenly into bed. Well, a toilet cubicle. Then nine months later Arthur was born, and the only reason his mother had decided to keep him was in the hope that she could gain something from his wealthy father. Arthur spent most of his first months crying and screaming for his mother, eventually the baby learnt that no one would come unless they were ready. His childhood was spent waiting in the cold of the streets as his mother 'worked' in the back alleys and the back of taxi's. Eventually he was dragged to his father and that was when he was made a play date with Peter.

Soon after that Arthur was moved into a large completely furnished house with his mother, his room filled with toys and it gave him endless enjoyment. His mother had been content for a while, and Arthur had been able to procure a few hugs from her. He had felt happier in that first year or so of being in the big new fancy house. Then his mother began to go out on endless dates coming home drunk and not always alone. Arthur was mostly oblivious due to being asleep when she came home in the early hours of the night however; eventually his mother wasn't there to cook for him. Arthur began to teach himself, when he was seven years old he had taught himself to read and had gone to the library twenty minutes away to get books on cooking.

The first day he had burnt his fingers, his hands scarred painfully with the remnants of the day he had tried to fend for himself. He had screamed bloody murder for hours, knowing nobody would come; it was merely to soothe himself. He learnt, he fought and eventually he became adept in the kitchen, he didn't need his mothers help. When Arthur was eight years old, in one of the rare moments he saw his father and he had asked about school, Arthur had looked at him confused. The next day he was dropped off by the school gates in front of an ominous building. He was automatically put into year one due to missing the first two years of education. He was humiliated with being stuck with the five year old children, however he worried needlessly.

Because Arthur had spent most of his childhood back and forth between the library Arthur was well adept in most things, he wasn't a genius but he was too advanced to be in his first year with the little ones. Arthur found himself quickly shifted up two grades and into year three with children his own age. Arthur had relaxed more by then and soon found himself enjoying his social interactions with the children. He had never played alone before and now he had many friends to be with. For a long time during his primary education Arthur was happy. At home he was mostly alone but at school he got to be a child and mostly happy.

When he had entered secondary school, his father enlisted him again, he found himself a victim to loneliness again. Most of his primary school friends had dispersed elsewhere and the ones he did know had been placed into different tutor groups. Now Arthur did try to make friends but found that for some reason no one wanted to befriend him, except a quiet boy named Kiku, and he soon became his best friend. Arthur was used to having more friends but having one best friend still bought a smile to his face. Arthur was teased mercilessly. And as Arthur grew older, it got worse; the students seemingly sought him out and taunted him.

Now more than ever.

Arthur sat alone at his dining room table; he was always eating by himself because his mother rarely came home anymore. He was fine with that. He put his elbow on the table and leant against his arm sighing sadly to himself in the big empty house.

Alone, cold and merely a shadow of who he could be.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two

Alfred sat by the door patiently waiting for the postman to arrive and deliver his letter. He knew that some of his friends had received them earlier this morning and had called him excitedly to tell him about their letters from Britain. Now all he had to do was wait, and for Alfred that was agonisingly painful, and a very difficult goal to accomplish. He was tapping his foot repeatedly against the hard wood floor as if it would dissipate his excitement. He couldn't help it he was just too excited about making a new friend and finding out all about England.

Alfred was a typical teenage boy, the ones you see in all the magazines and all the movies, he was a mirror image of what they embodied. Bright blonde perfect silky hair which had a cowlick at the front and a very irritating one at that, it never wanted to be gelled or combed, just sticking up defiantly. He had the brightest blue eyes that looked like the blue hue of the sky, and the blue of the ocean and yet still looked like neither of them, they were beautiful. He was well built and had a body meant for pages in magazines, displayed and lusted after. He was a perfect teenage boy, award-winning smile to boot.

Alfred had decided to try and doing the pen pal project because he decided you can't have too many friends, and one being in another country is just a bonus, it also sounded so exotic. Maybe there was the possibility that he would go over to England to meet them, he would love going to another country. Not that he couldn't afford to after all his parents were fairly wealthy, but they were always so busy that they never got the chance to go anywhere. He was just hoping that the person he would be corresponding with would be funny and interesting.

He heard a quiet whistling and leapt to the door, yanking it open making the post man jump in fright. "Jesus Alfred, excited much? You scared the hell outta me" He exclaimed holding a hand to his chest. "Here just for you" He smiled and handed him the post.

"Thanks! See you at dinner later. You and Lovino are still coming right?"

"'Course your dads would kill us otherwise. See you later kiddo" He closed the door quickly and threw the unwanted mail on the side table. Shakily pulling his own letter open. Alfred was on holiday for now, they had a half-term and he was spending most of it playing video games till late and sleeping late. Today however, he was woken early by his friend's calls and he couldn't lie in bed any longer. Both of his fathers were at work all week and were often home late so mostly he had the entire house to himself, he loved his parents deeply but wished they were around more. They used to spend so much time together, but as Alfred grew older his parents grew busier.

_I am Arthur Kirkland. How's the weather over there?_

"Huh?" Alfred flipped over the page. "Nothing, that's all I get?" Alfred had to admit that he was thoroughly disappointed, he sighed and thought to his other friend's letters, they had certainly been a lot longer. Maybe this 'Arthur' was shy, maybe he had to pry him out of his shell. He smiled and pulled out a piece of paper, and sighing a little he wished they could hurry up and exchange email addresses and numbers.

_Dear Artie  
_

_The weather is just fine here ha ha! As always, warm and toasty, I bet it's all rainy and cold in England, huh? Well that's what I heard it's like anyway. Well I guess I should tell you about myself? Well I am Awesome for one thing I am totally the hero, so you can just address the head of these letters as hero. I LOVE BURGERS ha ha I mean who doesn't so I guess it's a bit silly me saying that. What kind of food do you love?  
_

_I am pretty good at football so I guess you could call me athletic ha ha! Do you like football, or do you prefer soccer? I think you have different names in England, which is totally weird! I mean why would you change the name? What is the point in that? I guess England is just a bit weird, wanting to be different. Who wouldn't want to be the same as America?  
_

_I am ok at school and stuff but don't care for it much really, how about you? Next letter you had better write much more, and not just one little line otherwise I won't forgive you. No need to be shy anyways Artie, we are only writing to each other and I don't bite! Besides I am miles over the ocean so you have nothing to be worried about!_

_Will be awesome getting to know about you and England! Tell me about yourself!_

_From Alfred F. Jones (Resident Hero)_

Alfred nodded to himself, which sounded perfect to get the stuffy English boy out of his shell. He smiled and looked at the return address that Artie had written on the inside and wrote it onto a blank envelope then headed down to the local post office. The quicker they started sending letters back and forth the quicker they would become friends.

~o-O-0-O-o~

"Hey Alfie! Dinner's ready" Alfred came thundering down the stairs, making a loud racket as his feet hit each step with great force.

"Food!" He exclaimed when he bounced into the kitchen a big grin plastered on his face. "Hey dads, how was work?" He asked as he picked up his plate from the side, he began to pick at his food before he had even walked into the dining room.

"It was fine Alfie, if a bit busy, at least wait until you sit down dear" His father, John, said quietly. Alfred grinned at him and sat quickly at the table, then picked up his knife and fork greedily. "How was your day, darling?"

"Ich waf-"

"Alfred! Don't eat with your mouthful" John said scolding him quickly. Alfred rolled his eyes and him and swallowed quickly.

"It was a good day, I got my letter from England, and I got a new high score on my new game" Alfred giggled a little and continued to eat hurriedly.

"Oh yes you are doing the pen pal thing, who is your pen pal then?" His other father, Derrick, asked with interest.

"Arthur Kirkland, his name already sounds so British. How cool would it be to go to England, I would love to go over there if I had a friend to visit!" Alfred said excitedly. Alfred's fathers were very well off, they had a lot of money at their disposal so going over to England would be no trouble, the only issue that they never seemed to be able to gain leave from work at the same time. They had only been on a few holidays as a family, either way they still enjoyed their time together.

"You have to make friends with him first Alfie, what did he say anyway" They both watched as Alfred visibly sagged in his seat making them a little sad.

"It was really lame; all he said was his name and asked how the weather was. Who even does that? So I wrote him a really long letter and he had better send one good back or I will have to go over to England myself" Alfred said crossing his arms over his chest with a pout on his face. John and Derrick looked at each other with resigned smiles on their faces.

"How is Francis, we haven't seen him in a while" Derrick said looking back down at his food, he was rather hungry from work. When he hadn't heard a reply from Alfred, which is incredibly worrying because normally the boy would talk non-stop he glanced at him. What he saw shocked him. Alfred had tears in his eyes and he was looking down dejectedly at his half empty plate. "Al-" Before he could even finish Alfred had rush from the table and ran upstairs.

"Oh my goodness I wonder what happened" John said worriedly from beside him. He neatly picked up his own plate and Derricks then walked them through to the kitchen, dumping the excess food into the disposal unit and putting the plates into the fairly empty sink. He walked back into the dining room to find Derrick sitting there worriedly a large frown on his face. John walked up to him and put a hand lightly on his head affectionately; he reached under his chin and kissed him softly. "C'mon, why don't you go up and have a chat with him. I'll put his dinner in the microwave" He laughed softly. "He'll most likely be positively starving later"

Derrick smiled a little and kissed John on the nose then stood to go and have a man to man talk with his son. He walked from the room and made his way up the stairs in search of the distraught teenager. He heard a quiet sobbing coming from his bedroom and sighed painfully. He hated to see him so upset; Alfred wasn't the type to ever have a frown on his face. It didn't suit him at all. "Alfie sweetheart, are you ok?" Derrick asked as he opened the door. Alfred was on his bed weeping softly. As soon as he sat on the bed Alfred wailed and leapt at his father, holding him close as he cried dirtily on his lap.

"F-F-Francis!" He exclaimed in a wail, his sobs breaking his speech so it was nearly inaudible.

"What did he do honey? You can tell us; did he break up with you?" With those words Alfred wailed louder and buried his head further into his own hands. He sighed quietly and looked up at John standing by the door; he shrugged and shook his head. John sat down next to Derrick and softly stroked Alfred's hair while he cried. After a while his tears slowly stopped and he moved his hands from his face, wrapping his arms around Derrick's waist pulling him closer to comfort himself.

"I broke up with him" He rasped quietly.

"Then why are you this upset baby?" John asked quietly, trying to decipher why his son was laying distraught in their arms.

"Cause he cheated on me!" He wailed and his tears were renewed, and he clenched Derrick tighter. "Why would he do that Daddy?" He asked as Derrick and John grimaced at his response. The only thought running through John's head right then was wanting to tear Francis's balls off for making their happy-go-lucky son this upset.

"Look Alfie, darling, some guys are just too wrapped up in themselves to notice they have someone like you. They are missing out on the most special person they could possibly meet"

"You have to say that you're my dad" He muffled darkly.

"One day you will meet somebody who means everything to you, and they will feel the same. And he would never want anything to hurt you, he would do anything to be with you" John concluded.

"Really and truly?" He queried with childish innocence.

"Of course really and truly, and next time you see that Francis, punch him in the gut" Derrick said grinning wickedly. Alfred giggled and lifted his head from his fathers lap, he smiled weakly at them and wiped the tears from his face. Then in those few seconds he bounced back to normal.

"Hey, I am like super hungry" He said bouncing on his bed softly. He beamed at his parents who chuckled warmly at him, glad to see a smile once more on his face. They all knew that Alfred was pretending, he was putting on a brave face in front of the world. But that was the way he needed to deal with it, through smiles and laughter he needed to deal with his heart break. It would be tough but Alfred was the kind of person who smiled for everybody, he would smile when everyone else was sad because he firmly believed in smiles being contagious.

One smile to make the world go round.

John left for a minute and returned with his re-heated dinner with a smile on his face. Alfred ate with a renewed gusto and was finished quickly. Derrick and John got up to leave the room; Alfred ran up and hugged them both.

"Thanks Daddy's" He said softly and let them go and ran to his desk with his school bag. They walked from the room with smiles on their faces and sat in the front room together doing work and watching the television.

"I hope you know Derrick, that once I am in jail you are going to have to do all the cooking from now on" John said quietly not once looking up from the work on his lap, Derrick furrowed his brows and looked at him curiously. "I am going to kill Francis" He clarified calmly. Derrick laughed at him and ruffled his hair lovingly.

"I am afraid to say that I will be helping you with that" He moved across the sofa and kissed him softly but passionately on his lips. They laughed as they watched the movie together whilst Alfred sat upstairs sitting on his computer.

He logged onto facebook and looked at the homepage looking at his friend's statuses, and then he scrolled back to the top and clicked on his status update, slowly he began to type.

_I am really hurting right now, I feel like my heart is going to fall out of my chest. I was hurt yesterday by the one person I trusted the most, the one person who I thought loved me. I feel like crying all the time because of what he did to me, what he is still managing to do to me. I can't just smile and make it all better because it isn't; it doesn't just all go back to normal. I am trying but I loved him and he broke my heart. I just need someone to talk to me and say it'll be ok. Say everything will be fine again._

Alfred looked at his status slowly and just before he pressed update he deleted the entire thing and simply wrote: _Awesome day XD._

He smiled sadly and picked up his bag from the floor, rifling through it in search of his homework. He knew it would be in there somewhere, he found it and quietly began to work away on his maths equations. It was an hour after he finished his homework and he knew he should get to bed, after all he was feeling tired. However, lately he hadn't been sleeping well and even though he was tired he just couldn't seem to want to go to sleep. He wasn't scared he just didn't want to, so he would stay up late into the early hours of the morning then crash wherever he fell.

He was glad it was the holiday at the moment otherwise he'd never be able to get up for school in the morning. He was on facebook and he had a few notifications, quickly looking at them he saw that a fair few people liked his status and a few comments had popped up. He read through them with a smile on his face and then went to look at the private message he received.

_Matthew Williams: Hey Al, are you ok? I heard what happened with Francis, your parents told mine, wanna talk?_

Alfred put a hand on his face in exasperation, how could his dads be so cruel? I bet they told Mattie's parents how he was crying and sobbing so un-heroically. Alfred let his head fall onto the computer table in front of him and he groan internally at his lack o self control. He couldn't help it, the minute he had heard Francis's name he just felt like the events the day before had run up to him and punched him in the face.

Alfred had been walking to Francis's house for the first day of the holiday and had bought him a present for their six month anniversary because that was the kind of guy Alfred was. He was happily walking, almost skipping, to his house when he walked onto his street and came face to face with Francis sucking face with a girl. A girl! Alfred knew he was bisexual but did he have to go off with a girl while he was supposed to be in an exclusive relationship with him? Francis had separated and stroked her hair gently from her eyes with a smile on that smug little face of his and said to her.

"Je t'aime mon ange goroues" Which were the very same words he so lovingly whispered into Alfred's ear when they were cuddling on his bed. They simply meant, 'I love you my gorgeous angel', and he was saying his special words to some girl! Alfred threw himself at the boy and forcibly separated them, yelling profanities at him in an attempt to get across his hurt and anger. Francis looked at him and simply said.

"It iz nothing, non?" With those heartless words Alfred had burst into tears and threw his present at Francis's beautiful face, told him it was over and ran all the way back home. Alfred's chest clenched painfully at the raw memory of yesterday morning. He turned back to the computer and weakly began to type a reply to Mattie's message. Alfred and Matthew were best friends, through Alfred's adoption they were cousins, however, Matthew lived all the way in Canada so they only met at family events.

_Alfred F. Jones: I guess I'm ok Mattie, kinda feeling down about it. Chin up though I need to put a big smile on my face and all, I am awesome after all so I don't need that loser ha ha._

Matthew was online so the reply shouldn't take so long, he was typing.

_Matthew Williams: You don't always need to put on a brave face, you can be sad if you want to and no one will judge you._

Alfred was shocked; he honestly didn't know what to say to that, he typed a few responses but deleted them again. He just looked at the screen for a while until he finally decided to just log off and go on the play station instead. He logged on and found a few of his online friends to play with and soon he was laughing along with them.

That fake smile was plastered on his face all week.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Three

John and Derrick met during high school and being one of the few that were openly gay they quite predictably found each other. Consoling each other through the hardships of bullies and defending each other when they were caught up in it together. High school was brutal and tough for them, but they made it through together. When they reached college they were incredibly happy and throughout all of this they were together and had never felt so much love for another person before.

Once they entered the business world they sky rocketed up the work ladders and soon had more money than they knew what to do with. Neither John nor Derrick had very wealthy families and had always wanted to be able to provide for a family, so though wealth wasn't important it was still an added bonus to their lives. John had been disowned from his family after he came out to them, it was half way through high school, after he and Derrick had been together for over a year and John had finally decided to be brave enough.

He had approached them alone and told them outright he was gay. His mother had burst into tears and ran from the room whilst his father had stood up and beat him senseless, yelling at him all the while that he was no son of his, John lay there and took it. He had packed his bags with a bruised and broken body and left in the night without any apologies or pleas for him to stay. He would have to return to fetch some more of his things at a later date, but right now he had needed Derrick.

He walked all the way to his house, it took him over an hour and it was nearly three in the morning when he saw Derricks house. His family was amazing, they accepted him as though it was the most natural thing on earth and had always been supportive of their relationship. John had cried then, looking at Derrick's family home with complete and utter jealousy and even anger. He had laid his aching bones on the front steps and lay his head weakly on one of his packed bags and sobbed. His tears dried after a while, John wrapped himself in a thick coat and simply waited on the doorstep, looking at the bright stars in the sky.

He didn't want to upset his boyfriends family by disturbing them this late in the night, he knew he looked an awful mess and he felt a little sick but he couldn't be a bother to anyone. He feared to impose on people, fearing they would let him down or curse him for his existence as his own parents had done on many occasion. John looked up at the expanse above him and now the tears had dried he found a little peace in star gazing.

They twinkled so brightly in the pitch blackness of a cold summer night with the moon nearly whole and looking down on the Earth below. John watched as the sky became a little lighter and soon his eyes closed weakly. His eyes burned when the sun was higher in the sky and a scream sounded from behind him. He had leapt up and tripped on his own bag, falling painfully on the concrete of the driveway. John simply lay there, looking down at the ground as though that's where he was resigned to stay.

"Mum what the heck is with all the screaming?" Derrick said from somewhere further in the house, when he reached the door he had gasped and come running to John's side. "What happened?"

John simply stared at the floor unable to answer. "I found him asleep on the doorstep, Derrick hurry up and get him inside. I think he is ill, he looks awful" They spoke quietly over Johns head.

"It looks as though he's been beaten up Mum, god what the hell happened to him" Derrick's voice was strained and he sounded on the verge of tears. Derrick had then lifted John from the floor and with no energy to help himself John had let him, his arm was pulled around his shoulder and he was dragged into the house. They placed him warily on the sofa and his mother left the room in a hurry. Derrick's dad and his little sister had entered in a rush of smiles and giggles but the sight of John made them stop in their tracks, Derricks little sister Cassie had run over to John with tears already streaming down her face.

"Johnny?" She said affectionately. "What happened to your face?" John slowly reached to touch his face and felt the swollen lip and the pain in his eye, his brain suddenly acknowledged the pain and his whole body began to throb. Derrick's father prised Cassie away from John and pulled her from the room. He returned and kneeled next to John so he could look up in his face. Derrick had seemingly frozen in horror just looking at his broken boyfriend, merely looking at him with strained eyes.

"What happened son?" He asked and with the simple use of that term of endearment John's frozen body reacted. He scrunched up his face in an unknown pain and burst into floods of tears, Derrick reacted by pulling him into a hug. Trying to be gentle and comforting at the same time he looked at his father with a panic stricken face.

"John dear we need to know what's happened, how long were you outside? Can I clean your wounds?" His mother said from somewhere behind him. John merely whimpered in response. "Who did this to you?" She asked more forcefully.

"My d-dad!" He wailed in response and Derrick's parents looked at each other in horror.

"Jesus Christ that asshole!" Derrick cursed and pulled Jack closer into his arms.

"Derrick, mind your language, that is no way to speak about his father"

"It doesn't matter anyway 'cause he disowned me!" John cried into his boyfriend's chest, the agony of yesterday evenings events came pouring out from him.

"It's alright honey, I've got you" He whispered affectionately to the distressed John. Derrick looked at his parents for some kind of help and they smiled sadly at him.

"You stay here; we'll just go have a talk in the kitchen. Try to clean his face up a bit love" She said warmly and left the room with her husband, leaving a weeping John and an angry Derrick. Eventually after John's tears had once more dried and all that was left was a snivelling mess shivering in his arms. Derrick laid John on the sofa where he whimpered weakly his body seemingly devoid of any energy, his hand stretching weakly for Derrick. He clasped his hand and kissed it softly then reached for the cool flannel in its luke warm water and began to wipe away the blood on his face. John cowered and whined underneath his touch and it terrified Derrick to see his boyfriend so weak.

He had always been the stronger one, always the one to stand tall for both of them, always showing a brave face in front of the world. Now he was weak and crumpled and he cried and whined beneath him and it made him so scared and worried for his love. He began to hum a soothing song, not only to try and soothe John but himself as well, and as he lifted his shirt to inspect the bruises he heard himself cry out in pain for John. He was so black from discolouration that he was worried he would have to take him to the hospital, at least John had stopped whimpering now. Derrick eventually looked up to find he had fallen asleep, his face no longer creased in pain. It was then that Derrick realised how exhausted he looked, he shakily pulled his top back down and shifted him around so he was lying on the sofa, then wrapped him in a comfortable blanket.

He walked to find his parents and ran into his mother's arms with the tears pouring freely down his face. "Oh mum what are we going to do? He's so hurt!" Derrick exclaimed in hysteria. His mother soothingly stroked his back, whilst his father lay a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I think we should call the police and then we could find out what happened properly. He is going to stay with us ok?" She said softly.

"Ok, I just want to make him feel better" He said wiping the tears from his face. "He's asleep now so I think we should leave him"

With those words John was taken into his boyfriend's home, he was loved and cared for like a second son and he found himself growing happier. The first few weeks for John were tough and fraught, he wouldn't speak openly to anyone, and barely a few words were uttered from his mouth. He refused to talk to the police so no charges were ever made against his father, but he returned with a few new bruises when he had finally retreived the rest of his belongings, and yet he refused to say anything about them. Derrick became frustrated with him and they fought, John had changed and Derrick was afraid he would never get his boyfriend back.

After a while John revealed to Derrick about what had actually happened and told him how he felt, and soon he began to return to his old self. Years after the event it was only a distant and painful memory, and John and Derrick had married without any of his family at the wedding, except for his Aunt that had always supported him, she had no longer had any connection with the rest of the family. A few years later they had started the adoption process and found a surrogate mother who was more than willing to bear a child for two gay men. Then Alfred was born, on July the Fourth 1996. He had bought a new light to their lives, always happy and giggling, running around as though hyped up on sugar.

So many happy memories they had together with their son and they loved him so dearly, the pain and suffering they had gone through together to gain a son and finally they had the perfect one. Of course he had his bratty teenage moments and his terrible twos episode but he was a good boy at heart, always trying to please his fathers and his peers. They adored Alfred and he had them wrapped around his little finger.

"Dad" Alfred sung in a way they both knew he wanted something. They sighed at the same time then looked at each other laughing a little then turned their attention to their son. He was standing in the doorway with his hands behind his back with an innocent expression on his face and a small smile.

"What do you want?" John asked quickly. Alfred sagged and rolled his eyes then flumped face first onto the sofa, and then he twisted his head so he could speak freely to them both.

"Why do I have to want something?"

"Because your father and I both know the tone you use when you are asking for something, if you didn't want anything then what was it?"

"Fine" He said in a long drawn out breath. "I do want something" He said with a smirk. "You know you love me and I am your most favourite child" He said pleadingly. Derrick smiled and rolled his eyes.

"You are our only son, we have to love you"

"Nuh uh!" Alfred exclaimed. "You adopted me so you chose to love me, which is more than having to love me so ha!" He said whilst stepping up and standing with a giant grin on his face.

"I guess we could send you back" John said looking at Derrick with mischief in his eyes. Alfred mocked a hurt expression then his grin seemed to double in size.

"You wouldn't get past the front door cause you love me so much" Then he laughed and put his hands on his hips expressively. John and Derrick looked at each other with a glint in their eyes.

"You get his arms and I'll get his feet" Alfred's expression darkened when his dads leapt at him, he tried to escape the front room but Derrick had hold of his arm. Alfred began to struggle free while giggling in hysteria.

"No, this is unfair! There is two of you!" He exclaimed as his father John grabbed his legs, they lifted him easily and began to carry him through the front room. "You guys are so mean" He complained endlessly and continued to try and struggle out of their arms. Derrick at that moment decided he would be endlessly cruel and began to tickle Alfred's sides and he proceeded to burst into fits of giggles and raucous laughing. "No-no fair! St-top it!" He said breathlessly trying to wiggle free from his father's clutches.

They made it to the backdoor and out into their large garden, John then decided he would put an end to it and he pulled them both closer to the pool.

"Aww c'mon dad you wouldn't dare" Alfred whined. "Please, I'll be good I promise" He said quicker, noticing the look on both of their faces. John laughed and placed Alfred's legs on the floor freeing him from capture and Derrick let his arms go. Alfred quickly stepped away from them both. "You guys are so mean" He exclaimed.

"It's your fault, obligated to love you my ass" John said with a large smile on his face. He enjoyed it when he got to be a family with his husband and son. Alfred then at that moment to get a genius idea and before either of them noticed he pushed John into the pool whilst cackling loudly for them both to hear. John spluttered and looked at Alfred with a frown on his face; he let out an exasperated sigh then proceeded to pull Derrick in after him making Alfred laugh harder. They looked at each other and clambered out in a hurry, then chased Alfred round the lawn before capturing him and hurling into the pool with a scream.

"It's so unfair that you guys team up on me. One day I will get a strong boyfriend and we will beat you guys easily. Cause you'll both be old and I'll be strong ha!" He shouted from the pool, John and Derrick then jumped in after him and tickled and splashed him. The giggles, laughs and screams lasted through the evening until the stars were bright in the sky. They had decided to curl up on the couch in a warm blanket together and watch a scary film, which Alfred suggested, but was also completely terrified of.

"I don't know why we let you watch these" John complained when Alfred jumped feet into the air and gripped Johns arm painfully.

"'Cause they are cool" He said, even though it was a little nervously. He flinched between his parents again and the pillow he was holding rose above his face so he was hiding behind the furry material. John grabbed the pillow from his hands and threw it across the room, Alfred proceeded to make a squeaking noise and his hands flew over his eyes.

"Oh we raised such a coward" Derrick said whilst tousling with his hair.

"I am so not, I'm the hero!" He exclaimed from behind his hands, Derrick laughed at him and threw his arm round his shoulders, pulling him into a one armed hug.

"Derrick don't tease him, you'll hurt his fragile little feelings" John joked from beside him; Alfred wriggled closer to Derrick when he saw the murderer in the film gain another victim.

"I'm going to call social services on you guys; you're so mean to me. I could just move out you know, and then you would miss me"

"Of course we would honey" John said sincerely as he stroked away the hair from Alfred's face. He was slowly drifting asleep whilst holding onto Derrick and he looked just as cute as when he was a little boy. "You are the sweetest boy we could have ever been gifted with" He said softly. Derrick looked at him and smiled.

"We were definitely lucky when we got Alfie, I can't believe how lucky we are" Derrick said as he kissed Alfred's forehead.

"And you guys call me sensitive" Alfred mumbled from his half asleep state, he snuggled closer to his father and mumbled quietly. "Love you"

"Love you too kiddo" John said softly. "How 'bout we get you upstairs?" Alfred groaned something unintelligible and frowned.

"C'mon up we get" Derrick grunted as he lifted his already heavy son, Alfred fell heavily onto his shoulder and sighed softly. "God kid you got stop eating so much, you're lucky I am super strong"

"Yeah right Derrick, you're getting a bit fat" John said from in front of him as he opened the door to Alfred's room. He flopped him onto his bed and Alfred pulled of his trousers then struggled under the covers of his bed.

"Night dads" He said softly.

"Night night Alfie, see you tomorrow. I gotta work early so it's just you and daddy for breakfast" Alfred mumbled in affirmation and they left the room together, sitting back on the sofa wrapped up in each other's arms.

"How did we get such a sweet boy?" John asked from underneath Derricks arms.

"'Cause we got all the bad luck when we were young, so now here comes the good luck. And he's happy, I know he's had a rough time with Francis the asshole, but he still has all of his friends" He replied with a happy smile on his face.

"Hey you know he never got around to asking us that question" As if to answer their question they heard a loud thump from upstairs a few curse words and thumping down the stairs.

"I can't believe it, you guys made me forget!" He shouted at them as he ran into the front room. He ran back into the hall way and stumbled to put on his shoes.

"Alfred where are you going?" John shouted from the sofa.

"Out, geez dad isn't obvious" He came back into the front room looking flustered, dressed in his large bomber jacket and ready to leave the house. "Can I stay at Gilberts?" He asked innocently.

"Alfred no it's really late and you have school tomorrow, Jesus it's nearly midnight"

"But daddy I promised him I'd be there!" He complained coming fully into the front room.

"Alfred you heard your father you're not going. Go back to bed"

"C'mon this is so unfair, I never go out and I always help round the house. Just this one time please?" He begged.

"Alfred, bed" Alfred pouted and crossed his arms.

"You guys are so mean, I never get to do anything" He shouted angrily as he slammed the door and stomped back up to his room.

"So you were saying about Alfred being such a sweet boy" John laughed softly. "Well he has his rare moments of showing us he is a teenager. God I am gonna pay for that aren't I? Probably won't talk to me at all tomorrow"

"Someone has to be the bad guy I guess" Derrick said sleepily, he yawned and stood from the sofa, extending a hand towards John who still lay haphazardly on the sofa.

"Yeah but is it always me who has to be?"

"Yes cause that means I get all the hugs" Derrick said laughing and hugging John tightly. "Love you gorgeous" He said and kissed his forehead.

Life in the Jones household was just like a normal family however; they were closer than most and adored the time they all spent together. It all looked like a quaint little family and most of the time it was. The hidden secrets about John's family stayed hidden, John hadn't seen his father since the day before he got married where his father had given him his last chance to pull out and marry a good sensible woman. Naturally John had refused and his father left and he hadn't seen him since nor did he have the desire to. He had sent Alfred's picture to him when he was first born but his father had returned the picture with a short sharp note saying: _you have the wrong address. _

There was nothing more on the note.

They had explained the situation to Alfred once he was old enough to understand but it didn't stop him from being curious about them. However, he knew now that because of his own sexuality his own grandparents would want nothing to do with him. It hurt Alfred a little but he had never known them to begin with. His family on the other side however were very close and it was his Aunt Cassie that had given birth to Mattie, who was one of his closest friends. Alfred often wondered about his birth parents and his fathers were willing to divulge the information to him whenever he asked for them directly but Alfred had always been afraid to. He knew how much it must hurt his father's if he asked them, but his dad's would always be his parents and no one else could replace them.

"Alfie! Lovi and Toni are here!" John called up the steps.

"How's he doing anyway? School going well?" Toni asked softly.

"Yes he's doing fine. But don't mention Francis the little bastard cheated on him they only broke up a week or so ago so he's still a little sore about it"

"That asshole I will rip his balls off" Lovi growled at him.

"Believe me that's exactly what we thought" Derrick said as he walked into the kitchen. There was a loud slamming of doors from upstairs then a thunderous banging on the stairs.

"Goodness he can't do anything quiet that boy" Derrick said rolling his eyes. They all waited for his grand entrance into the kitchen but instead they heard hurried footsteps in the hallways and a scrambling to open the entrance way. John hurried from the room to stop him; Alfred looked at his dad with red eyes and then ran from the house. John sighed with exasperation and walked back into the kitchen to be greeted by a host of queer looks.

"Don't ask me but he's gone" Derrick went to stand but John held him back. "Just leave him be darling. He'll come in when he's hungry" The dinner was a nice event as they always had on Wednesday nights without fail for the past seven years. They had all been best friends since college and liked to keep in touch, eventually deciding to get together on a weekly basis. Lovino and Antonio only lived five minutes away and had been there through the adoption procedures and had been groomsmen at their wedding and vice versa. Alfred was very close to them and considered them his adopted uncles, and liked to hang around with them just as much with his friends.

The door banged open and the dining room went quiet. Without warning Alfred came flying into the room and threw himself at John holding him close whilst wailing. "I hate boys!" Derrick clenched his jaw and felt his fist clench around the fork in his hand. He couldn't stand it anymore and he leapt up from the table and left the room without any warning. Lovino and Antonio moved to comfort Alfred, rubbing his back and telling him it wouldn't hurt so badly after a while. Alfred clung to John and wiped his tears away soon they moved to the living room and talked quietly among themselves.

Alfred was lying with his head on John's lap while he stroked his hair whereas Toni and Lovi sat in front of them trying there hardest to make Alfred laugh. He smiled a little but overall his demeanour was rather melancholy. "Daddy do you mind if I am just sad for a while?" He asked sweetly whilst Lovi and Toni looked at each other sadly, John just gripped his shoulders as though he had felt Alfred's pain too.

"Of course you can darling, you be as sad or as angry as you want. You can punch the walls or break stuff if you like" Alfred chuckled lightly.

"You're so stupid daddy" He said lightly. "Where'd dad go?" They all looked at each other curiously and a little worriedly then shrugged.

"Oh I hope he doesn't do anything stupid" John said rubbing his eyes tiredly, Alfred's head shot up in horror.

"Oh daddy he wouldn't say anything to Francis would he?" He exclaimed in embarrassment and fear. "Why did I have to have you two as my dad's" He groaned and let his head fall back into Johns lap leaving the men to chuckle warmly at his now heated face. It was an hour or so before Derrick finally returned and he looked rather flustered.

"What did you do?" John asked immediately. Derrick ignored the question and sat at John's feet stroking Alfred's now sleeping face with adoration. He looked a little torn but soon he looked up into John's eyes with an ever growing love.

"I didn't do anything. I just went for a drive" He said sighing and laying his head next to Alfie's on John's lap. "It's really hard seeing my boy like that. You know what I mean, I had to try and stop myself from ripping that kids limbs off. I needed to get out of the house for a bit, I'm sorry guys" He said with a weak smile.

"I know what you mean, I felt like going around there too" Lovi said with a smile on his face. "It is kind of weird seeing Alfred so upset, he's always so happy. He's got some kick ass parents though" Lovi said with a grin. They all laughed quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping Alfred between them.

This is Alfred's life full of loving family and friends and people who would care for him no matter what. He had everything he could wish for, and yes he goes through hardships but he has someone there to pick him back up when he feels lonely.

A stark comparison to the boy who lives completely alone hundreds of miles away who has no friends, no family and spends most of his days devoid of emotion and can't even understand the concept of love. Alfred's little family have so much love and understanding that the concept of a completely lonely and isolated person on the other side of a vast ocean was almost an alien concept.

Arthur only saw a cold and empty world.

Arthur stood in his quiet kitchen cooking his dinner with his laptop open on to his YouTube page so he could just listen to the music open. It was nice cooking with the sounds of music ringing through his ears, and he sometimes found himself singing softly and swayi7ng to the beat. It disturbed him a little but he found his face aching from the tiny smile that lit up the usual scowl on his face. Arthur had always been able to drown and lose himself within music and books, the music playing quietly soothed him. He turned it up a little and continued to cut up the carrot in front of him.

_My face against the window pane_

_A tear for every drop of rain_

_I'm living like already i have died_

_Have died._

_Emptiness a present past_

_A silent scream to shatter glass_

_I have to go; it's time for me to fly_

Arthur's hand paused in the cutting of the carrots, his heart hammered in his chest as the words of the song echoed around the kitchen. This song wasn't his he was sure of it, he couldn't remember putting this onto his YouTube page, certainly not to listen to so casually. He silently listened to the chorus not anymore dancing, his smile long since faded.

_Who will care if I'm not here?_

_If suddenly I disappeared?_

_No one's gonna notice at all._

_Dying flowers in my hand_

_I'm vanishing from where I stand_

_It isn't yet too late to get the truth_

Arthur turned to look at his computer that seemed to be echoing the feelings inside of him that he tried to drown away, the ones he forced from his body through denial and faking that he was fine. This song seemed to be telling him exactly what he was feeling an7d it was hurting him to do so, the knife in his hand slipped and fell to the floor with a clatter, the chorus began to ring through to him and it hit him like a tonne of bricks. Now knives were stabbing him painfully in the heart as each word of the chorus was painfully hurled at him.

_I am so lonely and so sad  
__You're the reason that I'm feeling bad  
I am so lonely and so sad  
Living in a dream I've never had_

The chorus repeated and each time Arthur felt his defences being peeled away, like someone was slowly taking away a layer of his skin. Dragging their nails across his body with their sharp nails and making him suffer every single second, his skin bleeding, sore and incredibly raw. Arthur felt his body fall onto the floor of his large kitchen and his hand felt the cool handle of the knife near his leg. His hand clasped around it and he brought it closer to himself, and in one swift movement, before he could even stop his own body.

He hurled it at the computer and quite surprisingly it stabbed the screen and fell backwards onto the floor with a crash. The music filtered out to nothing and now there was only the quiet hum of the oven and the boiling vegetables surrounding the distraught Arthur. He weakly got to his feet and pushed his laptop into the bin, he was lucky that the main computer had his school work on, not that it really mattered.

Arthur laughed.

A cold, dry and empty laugh. How could a stupid song evoke such emotions inside of him? Arthur thought derisively. He pulled the knife from the screen and proceeded to cut the carrots in a new and calming silence.

Arthur woke to a cold empty room, again; he walked to the boiler cupboard and switched on the heating. He had already decided that he wasn't going to go to school today he wasn't in the mood to sit alone at lunch times and break just to come home to an empty house too. Instead he would sit on the internet and find some songs to listen to, and do some shopping, maybe even buy a new laptop. It had been another two weeks and his mother still wasn't home, he guessed she had left the country with this man of hers whoever it was now, Jim, Bill or Steve. There were so many and all they wanted was sex and money, even though she didn't know about Arthur's own account she still had her own.

His father had already expressed that once the money was gone she would get nothing more, and even if she tried to use Arthur again then his father would move him away. His father was a bad man and a careless man but when it came to an innocent party, his son for that matter he held a small soft spot. He didn't want any son of his on the streets but he didn't love him, far from it, he wasn't ashamed but he didn't ever want Arthur to be discovered and did not want to have any serious obligations or responsibility to Arthur.

Arthur sighed quietly and returned to his bedroom to make the bed; he then trudged to his en suite bathroom and turned on the shower, waiting a moment before stepping in. After he had showered he trudged downstairs in the now warming house and found that he had post and with a small sigh he picked up the letters. There were a few bills that informed him of the cost of electric, gas and water, lucky for him the money left his account automatically so it wasn't anything he had to worry about. The fourth was a bank statement which showed a considerable amount of money was still sitting in his account, a few expenditures from shopping and the various bills but other than that there was barely a dent on his father's given money.

The fifth was a hand written letter from an Alfred F. Jones. Who was that? Arthur thought with his brow furrowed in wonder. It eventually dawned on him that he was part of the pen pal scheme and he pulled open the letter reading it whilst his scowl returned to his face. Arthur came to the conclusion that he did not like Alfred F. Jones, but he had to write back because his teacher would be keeping an eye on them. Besides Arthur liked Mr. Diederich and didn't want to be in his bad books, he knew how angry he looked when students didn't do as they were told, sometimes he was downright scary. He grabbed a piece of paper from the nearby desk and began to write back furiously trying his hardest to get through to this Alfred that he was angry and annoyed at him already.

_Dear Alfred (I refuse absolutely to address you as 'hero', you have certainly not proven to me (and likely anyone else for that matter) that you are in fact a hero. Prove it to me that you are and I may consider it)_

_My name is Arthur NOT Artie and you will me address me as such; I don't want to have to correct you again. I am glad the weather is good over there; it is always dreary over in England. We do occasionally have days of sun but it isn't often at this time of the year. I do wish I could go somewhere warmer, where the sun is out a lot, maybe I would be happier._

_I do not like burgers, they are greasy and disgusting. I like to drink tea and I am quite proud of my own home –made scones, I think they are one of my favourite foods. Although I like them terribly I do not love them, how could you possibly love a food? I am unsure what love is at times._

_Football is where you kick the ball and rugby is where you man-handle the ball. We never changed the name of it, you Americans did, after all the English invented the game. It is not our fault that Americans have butchered the English language. Why would England want to be the same as that barbaric country? I can't find any reason why England would want to be akin to your country except for the size, which is the only thing that would aid us. England is a tiny island and yet has a formidable influence in today's world, which says far more than a big country with power. The size isn't always what counts. England clearly has the brains where you have none._

_School is incredibly important Alfred, you should concentrate on your studies then you will be able to get into a college. I am looking forward to college next year I just have to decide what A-levels I will be taking; I don't know what the education system is like over there so what are you going to be doing?_

_I am not shy you git! I just don't care for this bloody ridiculous project that we have to do for school, do you? I hope this letter reaches you in good time; I have enclosed my email address because this is awfully slow business writing letters. I might as well try to get to know about America while we are obliged to talk to each other._

_I am not interesting or fun so I doubt you would want to know about me Alfred. I live in a fairly large house, I like books and I enjoy cooking. Is there anything you would like to ask?_

_Arthur Kirkland._

Arthur sealed the letter and placed a stamp on the envelope, he hoped he would email him, at least then he would have someone to talk to. Arthur shook his head in an unknowing denial and returned to his bedroom to do his homework.

Arthur was missing from school today and it made Ludwig rather nervous. Arthur had taken to eating his lunches with Ludwig in his classroom, they never really talked much but Ludwig certainly appreciated the company all the same. When Ludwig had called his parents number it rang and rang until the voicemail picked up, he left a short sharp message that asked where Arthur was today and if he was ill then his parents should phone in and notify them of his absence. The school never received a reply from his parents and they never did but Arthur had always returned to school in due course as was the norm.

Ludwig had met Arthur's father on one occasion and that was when he was enrolled into the comprehensive school. It was month after term had already started and his father had muttered something about being ill, so Ludwig thought nothing of it. Ludwig did not like Arthur's father however, there was something off about him that made Ludwig's blood boil with irritation and an unknown hatred. Ludwig hadn't seen a sight nor sound from his parents since. Not even on parents evening, Arthur would come alone and say his parents were unable to make it, he would find out how he was progressing and then would leave alone, just as he had come.

Ludwig had been the boys tutor for nearly five years and had watched his tutor group grow and change. Arthur had always been quiet but it wasn't until recently that he had become so isolated. He used to be friends with a fair few people and most of the time he seemed happy, now he walked with a permanent scowl on his face. It confused Ludwig no end because the boy didn't seem angry. Not at all, there wasn't anger in his face there was pain and as a teacher it was hard to know the next step of action to take.

Ludwig had finally decided he would go straight to his home after the school day was over and talk to his parents first hand and figure out was going on with him behind closed doors. When the end of the day neared he found the address and headed out early with most of the students, jumping into his car in a rush to get out of the school parking lot. The drive wasn't too long ten to fifteen minutes probably over a half an hour walk though Ludwig thought quietly to himself. He pulled into an empty drive way and quickly jumped out of the car.

It was a fairly large house with a modest front yard, probably an even bigger back garden he thought derisively. The large wooden front door called eerily and Ludwig's large hands banged repeatedly on it to gain the attention of the occupant.

Silence.

Then the sound of muffled, slow and quiet footsteps and the clicking of the lock and the chain being pulled out of its latch, the door then swung open wide to reveal a very small looking Arthur. His eyes doubled in size at the sight of Ludwig and he could see the boy's complexion pale. "Uh-um Mr. Diederich, what are you doing here?"

"You weren't in today Arthur, so I came to talk to your parents. They never seem to return any of my calls, may I come in?" Arthur stopped Ludwig before he could take another step forward.

"They're at work, won't be back till late" He exclaimed.

"I do not mind waiting Arthur, I will talk to them if it's the last thing I do"

"Fine, you can come in but there is no point in waiting" He said angrily and he ran away from the open door, fleeing to somewhere deeper in the house. Ludwig looked around uncertainly but pushed open the front door slowly, then took a tentative step in. The house was empty. Well, it was completely furnished and it was clean, but it was devoid of anything you would call a home. No photos, no masses of coats and hats on the hooks, no piled up shoes in the shoe box, just a plain simple house. It looked as though it was on show at a house auction. There were two coats on the coat hook, both of them seemed to be Arthurs and there were three pairs of shoes in the box, neatly placed with care. One pair was black school shoes; one was trainers and one were P.E. trainers, all Arthurs. Where was his family?

Ludwig entered the front room as his fear began to rise, this couldn't be where Arthur lived surely? Was he living alone in this place? Ludwig decided it would be best to try and look for Arthur instead. "Arthur? Where are you?" He called up the stairs and received a deafening silence in response. He slowly made his way to the top of the stairs where he finally heard a quiet voice. Ludwig knocked on the door and he heard small movements from within, the door opened and Arthur gestured for him to enter, his hand held tightly over the receiver of his phone.

"Here, it's my dad" He thrusted the phone into Ludwigs hand garishly and say at the computer desk.

"Hello?" Ludwig asked curiously.

"This is Arthur's father, he is ill today but will be returning to school tomorrow. From now on I will ensure that I call in if ever he is ill again" He said quickly.

"Well sir, this isn't the first time it has happened. Will you be home soon?" He questioned in response to the cold words that were thrown his way.

"No, I am not in the country, and his mother is on a business trip. She will be back in a few days, we trust our son. I do not live with Arthur, his mother and I are not married" He told him, his voice seemed like he was trying not to shout.

"Ok, thank you sorry. I am sorry to inconvenience you, just ensure that you call if Arthur is absent from school" Ludwig said in finality.

"Yes, now I must leave. Good day Mr. Diederich" The buzzing indicated that he had hung up the phone on the other end. Ludwig handed the device back to a waiting Arthur.

"You should leave now" He said standing to show Ludwig the way out. Before Ludwig had the chance to protest he was moved through the front door with a loud slam to awaken him from his stupor. Ludwig was unsure what to make of the entire situation so decided he should just get on his way home, he didn't want to worry his dear little Feli.

Leaving him alone all day made him uncomfortable so Ludwig left the Kirkland residence even more perplexed than before.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four

Arthur left the house at a reasonable hour so he would be in time for school, slipping the letter for Alfred into the post box at the corner of his street. He spotted a few people from his school loitering near the small shop that sold sweets and papers and such, Arthur continued onwards trying to pay them no mind. However, it didn't seem to stop their furious whispers.

"Man he is so weird, I mean he looks so mean"

"Yeah and I bet he has no friends, he sits on his own all the time"

"Weirdo" That was the last word Arthur heard before they were no longer in his earshot; it had become much easier for Arthur to ignore their jibes. Most of them paid him no mind, but there were others who like to torture him with their words. He had never been on the receiving end of violence and he hoped he never would. He couldn't stand the idea of himself being hurt physically. Most of the time though, Arthur was merely ignored.

That's what hurt him most of all, not that he'd care to admit it.

That was when he spotted Kiku walking a few paces ahead of him, he was holding tightly onto his back pack and his head was permanently on the floor beneath him. Arthur's heart lifted a little and he lurched forwards. He hadn't seen his friend in well over a month, he had been very ill for a few months but it looked like he was finally better. It made Arthur's heart soar. Arthur placed his hand on his shoulder lightly, making Kiku jump in surprise.

"Kiku" Arthur said with a tiny smile. He had almost forgot to smile after he realised Kiku wasn't coming back to school with him right away. He feels as though his entire demeanour had mostly changed without a friend by his side for the two months he had missed of school. Kiku was a quiet boy with straight black hair and a bowl cut; his eyes were dark and glimmered brightly. Arthur worried for a moment when Kiku didn't respond, but his lips slowly pulled into a smile that echoed Arthur's own.

"I thought you would have gone and made new friends without me" He said completely truthfully.

"I am not well-liked Kiku" Arthur said letting his face settle back to a scowl, while looking towards the school. Kiku sighed and stepped forwards so he was in Arthur's line of sight.

"I know, but I can hope can't I? Maybe if you smiled more Arthur, it is rather intimidating to approach you with that scowl on your face" Kiku laughed a little and tried to rub away Arthurs scowl with his forefinger, it made Arthur's face burn red. He pushed Kiku's hand away and sighed, pressing his fingers to his face.

"You've missed a lot Kiku" _I missed you so much. _Those words that Arthur longed to say chimed in his head, he shooed them away impatiently.

"I have been mostly working from home, so I don't have loads to catch up on. Just on how my friends are doing" He said casually, they had begun to walk towards the building once more and for once Arthur didn't feel quite as lonely as he had so many times before. "So Arthur, how are you doing?"

"Fine as always Kiku" He replied instantly, fine was his go to answer and he supplied it to anyone who asked. Not that many people did.

"Arthur, I have heard some things from Hercules. Troubling things" He said almost whispering.

"And what may they be?" Arthur asked while his heart clenched painfully. Arthur never had many friends; in fact he believed his only friend was Kiku. Kiku had some other friends, who he liked to spend time with. When they had first met Arthur only stuck around when Kiku was alone, fearing that if he intruded than Kiku wouldn't want to be his friend any longer a rather childish thought but Arthur treasured his friend with every fibre of his being. He couldn't risk the pain of being so completely isolated again.

Kiku's other friends were rather colourful, there was Hercules a rather lazy boy who was rather attached to Kiku and liked to follow him around a lot. It was how Arthur and Hercules had first met, because Hercules had been suspicious of where Kiku sometimes went alone. Then there was the rather loud and obnoxious Gilbert, which surprised Arthur as to how Kiku had become friends with the so brightly blonde haired boy, who had decided he himself was 'awesome'. Another of his friends and one which Arthur found he got along with splendidly was Yao Wang, a boy of Chinese decent who shared similar interests as Arthur. At first Arthur had avoided them but soon Kiku persuaded him that it was fine, they had all wanted to meet Arthur and wanted to be his friend too.

Arthur's heart had fluttered at the possibility of having four friends that he had followed Kiku in a daze and when he was pushed into a seat at the lunch table he looked at them all with a confused expression. His scowl was gone for the entire day. However, Arthur wouldn't ever stay with them without Kiku, he always felt as though he didn't belong. As though they were only Kiku's friends, no matter how much Kiku had tried to persuade him otherwise. That was why he had been completely taken aback the day he sat down with Kiku at their usual table and was bombarded with birthday presents and cards.

"What's this?" He had asked looking down at the mass of colours.

"For your birthday duh" Gilbert had laughed. "Open mine first it's the best!" He exclaimed.

"My birthday? I forgot" Arthur said softly, everyone gaped at him but Kiku shushed them. Arthur felt his eyes well up and he jumped up from the table and ran from the lunch hall. He had run into a toilet cubicle and sobbed his heart out all through lunch and into the next period. As they watched Arthur run away they all looked to Kiku worriedly who smiled softly at them all. Above all Kiku had seemed to understand Arthur most.

"He's fine, I think you just made him extremely happy" Kiku giggled softly and they all let out sighs of relief. When Arthur met them at lunch the next day he was blushing with embarrassment and handed each of them a hand-made thank you card.

"Well Hercules told me that" Kiku began bringing Arthur suddenly back into the present, he quietly listened to what his friend had to say. "He says you don't talk to them anymore, or sit with them. In fact, he says you don't talk to anybody" Kiku was incredibly worried about his best friend, even now he could see something dark inside Arthur's eyes. Something he couldn't understand and something he wished he could ease away.

"It's true" Arthur said quietly. Then something punched his heart and he nearly began crying there in front of Kiku. "I am not your friend anymore Kiku, I am not anybody's friend. I can't be anyone's friend anymore, I don't know how to. These are my last words to you Kiku, because I beg that you do not talk to me anymore" With those cold words he stepped away from Kiku who stood still in shock. Kiku watched his best friend walk from him burdened with an unknown trouble and Kiku's eyes filled with unshed tears. He pulled his phone from his pocket and could barely contain his sobs.

"Hercules" He hiccupped painfully and he heard an intake of breath on his end. "I need your help"

~o-O-0-O-o~

Alfred reread the letter that had fallen through the mail that morning, how could someone sound so unbearably sad in a letter? He was sure that he hadn't even meant it to come across as sad but everything about this letter from Arthur screamed loneliness, like he was begging Alfred for help. At least he had given him his email address, Alfred jumped up quickly and he ran to his room to compose an email to Arthur. Alfred was rather glad that he had finished school for the day; it was rather tiring smiling a fake smile all day. His friends had all asked if he was okay and each time Alfred had laughed them off then proceeded to show them an even bigger smile.

Alfred was far from being okay, he was slowly getting better but he had loved Francis and he thought the boy returned his feelings. That's why Alfred was forever grateful for his parents and his friends; they had been so supportive of him and were always making him feel happier. Alfred smiled to himself in the realisation that he could do anything with them by his side. Alfred listened to his computer humming and then quickly made his way to his emails and began to compose a new letter to Arthur.

_Dear Such (I will call you that if you REALLY want me to call you hahahah) _

Alfred laughed to himself at his wonderful humour, that would certainly make the Brit laugh.

_Of course I'm the hero! Everyone says so, I do tonnes of hero like stuff like helping girls in trouble and making people happy. That's an important thing to do ya know, making people happy!_

_Hey if you really want to go somewhere sunny why don't you come over to America, I would totally let you stay at my house, my dad's wouldn't mind! Oh I guess I should explain that, not many people get it! I have two dads (And they are the best) so I was adopted but I am totally cool with it because I have two dads who love me more than anything! I really hope you are not uncomfortable with the whole gay thing cause I mean. Well…I guess I should say that I like boys too. So if you are not cool with it we should stop talking now!_

Hopefully three exclamations points will help to emphasise how serious Alfred was feeling about this, he didn't want to spend his time chatting to some homophobic stuffy old Brit.

_Dude! Dude, dude, DUDE! How can you not like burgers! EVERYONE likes burgers, you obviously haven't had a decent burger before. As soon as you get here I am definitely making sure you have a good one! Ha ha ha I can't believe that you are such a stereotypical English person, do you like totally drink tea all the time. I bet your body is 70% tea instead of water! Dude you will have to make me some of these scones, I love anything so its cool whatever you put in them!_

_Unsure about love? How can that be? Don't you look at your family and realise how they are awesome, or look at your friends and see how cool they are. How can you not know love dude! Seriously if no one loves you by the end of the year I will try my hardest to love you for real! It's a hero's promise._

_You are definitely getting your sports wrong, I like the way the Americans do it. Much better and makes total sense! We Americans are not barbaric, well I guess some are, but not everyone I bet you have bad people over there too! So no need to be mean about my country, or I could be mean about yours. Like umm… your queen sucks!_

_I do try in school Artie, gee you sound like a nagging mother. Not that I'd know with having two dads and all. Seriously though I am totally trying. And how can you be going to college! You are like 16 soon right? I have to finish high school when I'm 18 before going to college! School systems are too confusing. So what about after college? I think I want to go into the sciences though, something cool like that. I don't really like English blerg!_

_Well if you aren't shy then you should make your letters (or emails) Long like the last one. And I volunteered for this so I could meet someone cool! And I think you are I can __really hear you're accent through your words; you talk funny even through a letter! Can't wait to meet you!_

_I'll tell you a secret Artie, I think you ARE interesting and I am going to prove it to you somehow. I think the way you talk (even through letters) is awesome, and I like that you care about things like school and food! Even if you won't admit it. Now I want to know lots and lots and lots! I totally want to ask like what do you like to do? Who are your friends? Do you have any brothers or sisters? What are your parents like? So many!_

_From the totally awesome hero!_

Alfred smiled to himself and sent the message to dear old Artie all the way in dear old England; he chuckled lightly to himself in mirth and shut down his computer. These past few weeks, he didn't want to look at his lonely 'single' status or risk seeing any stupid photos of that damned French frog. Alfred's phone buzzed quietly in his pocket.

_Alfred, I am sorry. It was a mistake, talk to me?_

Alfred shuddered a bit but his heart clenched with familiarity. With a shaking he responded and then grabbed his coat and pulled on his shoes nervously. He walked from his house with nervous butterflies swirling around his belly, maybe now he would get some answers, some closure. He would find out why Francis had broke his heart so callously and then he would be able to move on. It was a little chilly out but that didn't bother Alfred so much, he had always had an easily warmed body, his parents often marvelled at how his hands would always be warm.

He walked for a further ten minutes then looked up at Francis Bonnefoy leaning so elegantly against a low wall. His breath caught in his chest and he was unable to take a further step forward. How can he be so beautiful? It wasn't fair. Alfred drew a shaky breath and stepped closer to the boy how had cheated on him, who seemed to smash his feelings to nothing.

"Ah mon Angel" He exclaimed with that silly clipped accent. "I just wanted to apologise for what you saw a few weeks ago" He told him softly, his hand reaching up towards Alfred's face. Alfred slapped his hand away and his face turned to a deep scowl. "Oh my little Alfred, no need to get snappy, non?"

"Yes there is!" He yelled in frustration. "You cheated me and then said it was nothing!" Alfred could feel the tears burning at the back of his eyes again. He had cried too much for this boy, this heartless coward who didn't seem to even regret what he did.

"Come now, she was nothing. You are the one I love" He stepped closer.

"How can you say you love me if you go running off with other girls!" Alfred could feel his anger bubbling hotter and fiercer.

"She is what you call a fling. It iz nothing Alfie" Alfred was becoming more and more frustrated with Francis who couldn't seem to grasp the concept of Alfred's pain.

"If you can't see that it is wrong then I don't know what I ever saw in you" With those words he could see Francis's face droop, as if he was finally saying something that the French man understood. Francis stuttered a little, unable to continue and with that Alfred turned away from him, his feelings bubbling too carelessly for him to even realise what he was doing. Stepping onto the road without another thought, the screech of tires burned his ears.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur was sitting in Ludwig's office during lunch again, which bitterly disappointed the teacher. He had seen Arthur talking to Kiku earlier that morning and he hoped he would take the opportunity to reconnect with his friend, hopefully spend time with him instead of sitting alone with a boring teacher. Although Ludwig enjoyed his company he didn't enjoy the fact that Arthur was avoiding people who used to be friends with him, he wanted him to have a normal life at school. He hoped he would have wanted to make some good memories but Arthur seemed to be persistently against the idea, as though he was forcing the loneliness onto himself.

It was maddening that this boy had come to the conclusion that he had to be lonely and left in utter silence. It was in that moment that Ludwig decided he would use this lunch time together to get to know Arthur, get him to talk. He would no longer sit with him in silence.

"Arthur" He spoke softly, the boy did not hear and he continued to read his book diligently. "Arthur" He said louder, startling the boy from his reveries. Arthur looked at him with a confused look on his face, as though speaking to him was an alien concept.

"Yes Mr. Diederich?" He asked eventually, Ludwig smiled at him and motioned for him to move his seat closer.

"Now, why aren't you with Kiku this lunch time? I know you were friends, and he has returned to school today, isn't that exciting?" He asked the boy with a smile on his face, however, Arthur only scowled.

"He isn't my friend" He replied with bite in his voice.

"Oh no did you have a fall out?" He asked with confusion, they seemed to be talking so cheerfully earlier.

"Yes, he isn't my friend anymore" Arthur told him while crossing his arms firmly across his chest. He had tried so hard to look angry but the only emotion that came across to Ludwig was sad and alone.

"Well I guess I should call him in here so we can sort this out then?" Ludwig said as he picked up the phone. He would ask the secretary to make an announcement and that way he would force the boys to talk, make sure that they did sort everything out.

"No!" Arthur yelled suddenly, jumping to his feet. Ludwig ignored him and spoke to the secretary in his own slow pace, soon he and Arthur heard the announcement for Kiku Honda to report to his tutor room. Arthur was fuming angrily in front of him and Ludwig merely smiled at the boy. Without giving him a chance to react Arthur ran from the room, completely neglecting to pick up his belongings.

"Arthur!" Ludwig yelled angrily but the boy had disappeared down the corridor and out of sight. Ludwig sighed heavily and returned to his desk, placing Arthur's belongings on the floor and out of sight, he would have to return them later. A quiet knocking disturbed Ludwig from his thoughts and he grunted a loud enough 'come in' to the knocker. A small and nervous Kiku walked through the door and looked at Ludwig apprehensively.

"You wanted to see me sir" He asked whilst wringing his hands in front of his satchel.

"Please don't be nervous Kiku you are not in trouble" He watched as Kiku visibly relaxed and a small smile reached his face. He stepped forward more confidently and sat at the chair that was left in front of his desk. "I wanted to talk to you about something rather delicate" He told the boy carefully, he didn't want to lose Arthur's trust otherwise he may end up losing the poor boy all together.

"Ok, I will try my hardest to help you" Kiku said honestly. Ludwig smiled, he had always like Kiku, he was a nice boy who would always try his hardest to help anyone who was in trouble.

"It's about Arthur Kirkland" He then watched as Kiku tensed and his face twitched in recognition.

"Oh" He said softly, his head sagged and he looked at his knees.

"I heard you had a fight?" Ludwig began.

"Not really" Kiku said quietly, not bothering to look at Ludwig.

"Really? But Arthur said you had a fight" With those words Kiku seemed to come alive and he stood with a determined look in his face.

"I am really worried about Arthur; he doesn't seem like himself anymore. I always knew there was something about him that wasn't quite right but now it is worse than ever, he is getting worse. I don't think he even has any friends anymore. And even when we were friends he would never talk about life at home. Mr. Diederich I am really scared for him" Kiku had burst into tears for his friend and Ludwig had to leap to his feet to pat the boys back and hand him a tissue. Soon his tears dried and he was left with red rimmed eyes and he was sniffling uncontrollably. "I don't know where my friend has gone"

"Yes, I have been awfully troubled by Arthur's behaviour and his home life. We need to try and find out what is going on with him, that's why I need your help Kiku. I fear that Arthur is a deeply disturbed boy" Ludwig told the boy sadly, however Kiku nodded in affirmation.

"He always has such a sad look on his face" Ludwig nodded, impressed a little at how the boy was able to see past his scowl. "Do you know what we should do?"

"Well I have a very simple idea, so it shouldn't be hard. But it will require a lot of patience, because Arthur doesn't need someone running at him guns blazing. We will take it slowly, and hopefully we can melt that cold heart of his" Ludwig said trying to break the stiff air between them. Kiku giggled a little and stood from his chair. Slowly Ludwig explained his plan and Kiku nodded each time he asked if he was okay, Kiku was more than willing to do anything to save his friend.

"Okay, so we start tomorrow"

"I'll bring my friends, they are all worried about Arthur too" Kiku said with a smile.

"Perfect, now here is a late pass, so you don't get in trouble" Kiku left a little happier than before and nearly skipped all the way to his class. This was certainly going to be tough trying to break someone as stubborn as Arthur but with perseverance they hoped they could slowly chisel their way through his stone like armour.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Arthur stood silently his eyebrows turned downwards into a nasty scowl, while his eyes filled with rage. It made Kiku shudder with how cold he looked but he just ignored him and turned back to his friends and he began to talk nervously to them. Arthur stormed into the room angrily and threw his back pack at a chair in rage. How dare they enter into his personal space, how dare they discover the only place he was free from torture. Ludwig looked up at the noise Arthur made and lifted himself to his feet.

"Arthur I don't want to have to give you a detention" He said as he picked up the chair and Arthur's bag.

"Why couldn't just keep your nose out!" He yelled slamming his hands onto the desk; he snatched the bag from his hands and ran from the room without a second glance back. Kiku stood to follow but Hercules held onto his arm, Kiku looked so lost and so scared in that moment but sat back down, his head bowed with sadness.

"Don't worry boys. Like I said, we just have to be patient with him; hopefully he will learn to trust us"

"I have never seen him so angry or so hurt" Kiku said softly, looking towards Ludwig wearily. "I just want him to feel better"

"Yeah you're not the only one" Gilbert chimed in. "I didn't realise it had gotten this bad, we did try to include him Kiku honest we did" Gilbert said desperately. "It doesn't help that people are spreading nasty rumours though" He added thoughtfully.

"What rumours?" Kiku asked with a horrified look on his face.

Yao coughed uncomfortably but proceeded to talk. "Well some people seem to think that Arthur is well-" He stopped and twiddled his fingers uncomfortably. "Well that he's um gay"

"How did that get out?" Yao was once again looking uncomfortable.

"I really don't want to have to say this, it isn't my place. But somebody apparently saw him looking at flyers. You know, so he knows who to talk to and things. They stole them off Artie and then people really started to tease him about it" Yao finished.

"And Arthur hasn't had a good time here as it is. When you left Kiku" Hercules began. "He found it really hard, and then with this it just all went downhill. He hasn't spoke to us since" He told his friend softly. Kiku looked like he was about to cry all over again.

"Is this true?" Ludwig spoke from behind them. They seemed to have forgotten he was even there and jumped upon hearing his voice.

"Yes" Yao was blushing so brightly now that he couldn't even look at his teacher anymore.

"Right, well you guys finish your lunches and are here again tomorrow, let's just hope Arthur comes back again. By the sounds of it this is his only real sanctuary" Ludwig sighed with a heavy heart, now he sincerely felt for the boy, not that he didn't before. Getting to grips with your own sexuality is hard enough without having to have your peers judge it for you. Ludwig had to go through this just like Arthur, although he had many friends to support him, and Feli had always helped him to get through it even without realising it. Arthur desperately needed this group of friends now more than ever, and he needed the support at home too. However, not one person knew what was going on with Arthur at home.

Arthur had run from that blasted room unsure of where to go, every where he turned he was greeted by sneers and ignorance not one friendly face anywhere. How could they take away that only place he could have some peace, he clenched his fist in anger and threw a punch at the locker. His hand crunched beneath him and he winced in pain. He looked at his hand and could see it beginning to swell already it certainly hurt enough. He shook it off and walked down the corridors for the rest of lunch time, not stopping to even eat anything.

They were here again. Sitting at the same table talking so happily about anything and everything, completely ignoring Arthur and it made his heart clench in fear. For a second his eyes filled with sadness as he glanced away from the friendly environment. This didn't go unnoticed by Kiku however who smiled lightly and turned back to his friends, there was a chair left empty at their table but Arthur didn't sit at it. He pulled a chair to the back of the class and sat by the window, looking out onto the football field.

Arthur's hand was barely useable now, he was lucky it was his left hand otherwise writing would have been very difficult to even attend school and take notes. He looked at it with a scowl then he tried to bend it and hissed painfully. "Are you okay Arthur?" Ludwig asked.

"Fine" He replied, and it made Ludwig sigh. He was getting tired of responses like that when it was clear the boy was not by any stretch of the imagination, 'fine'. He then spotted the swollen and deeply discoloured hand Arthur held gingerly. "Oh Arthur what have you done? Have you gone to the hospital?" The group of friends all turned towards them and it didn't go unnoticed by Arthur, who scowled angrily then picked up his bag trying to escape.

"Didn't your parents take you?" Kiku asked as Arthur reached for the handle of the door. He froze staring at the faint green of the door, looking down at all the cracks and peeling paint. How could he say that so callously? How could he just utter one sentence and have it hurt Arthur so deeply?

"Busy, they're busy" He said quietly. He knew he had paused for far too long. He knew that every single pair of eyes was boring into his back. He knew that sometime nobody would believe his lies anymore.

"What they were too busy to take you to the hospital?" Gilbert asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah" Arthur said softly and he walked stiffly out of the door. They watched him leave with an air of finality but no longer hopeless.

"At least he spoke to us" Hercules told everyone. "Hey Mr. Diederich, you know Arthur always said his parents were busy, what do they do?"

"I have never met his mother, his father I have met once" He responded.

"How can you have only met him once, what about parent's evenings and things?" Gilbert asked incredulously.

"He always came alone" He told them with a sigh, Ludwig was beginning to wonder if Arthur even had any parents. Even if he had met his father the man didn't seem to be around a lot, if not at all. That mother of his had seemingly successfully pulled a disappearing act.

Arthur just left during lunch, his hand really was hurting now and there was nothing he could really do about it. How would he be able to get to the hospital alone? What would the staff there think? They would certainly try to call his parents and then the truth would come out and he would be uprooted all over again. Probably moved across the country and made to feel completely lonely again. Arthur's mother had been gone for over a month maybe longer he wasn't even sure anymore and he wasn't even sure he cared anymore. He was glad he had the house alone, nobody to interrupt him or curse at him. He just wished he wasn't so alone.

Arthur turned on his music and turned it up loudly to drown out the depressing thoughts that swirled around his head. He opened his email to find a new one from Alfred, smiling he opened the message and he was glad he could respond quickly knowing Alfred would get it instantly, even if he didn't respond immediately.

_Alfred, you knew exactly what I meant. Please address me as Arthur, and nothing else._

_Why would you want to make people happy? What does it do for you? Can you really make people happy?_

_I don't think it would be appropriate for me to go to America, I barely even know you and I am sure you wouldn't really want me there. I am not any fun Alfred; I would probably bore you endlessly. And no Alfred I have nothing against homosexuals. I have recently discovered something about myself to be honest, it is tough living with this burden here in England, and I guess nobody has been giving you a hard time have they? You don't sound like the person to have had a hard time in life; sometimes I don't even know why I tell you things like this._

Arthur decided he would not even acknowledge the idea that everyone had to like burgers, he knew that they weren't completely terrible but only if they were homemade and not the processed stuff. Arthur could make a good homemade burger and maybe he would make one for Alfred. Arthur shook his head at the prospect and continued to compose the email.

_I am not a stereotypical English person, because if I am then you are a stereotypical American, stupid and fat. And by the sounds of all the burgers you love to eat you probably are. I don't think I will be making you scone any time soon Alfred, you are too far away I am afraid._

_I do not have good relations with my family Alfred, not everyone has a good home life like you do, and I am not a likeable person. I don't have any friends. I will not discuss this any further._

_You can't love me._

_Yes yes I am sorry for making such assumptions about the American race, I didn't mean to offend. I guess I really do get on your nerves huh? If I am honest Alfred the queen doesn't in fact mean a lot to me, she is merely a figure head and it isn't like I have met her. So it doesn't offend me that you have offended our royalty. _

_Well after college I hope to attend university, maybe go into something to do with literature, I am not entirely sure yet but I am looking forward to getting away from this town I live in. I guess it is too small for me. The sciences sound like a good idea Alfred, I am impressed I do hope you have a lot of fun when you get into the college you want. Keep me updated on how you are doing. _

_I will try to write more in my emails, as you can see this one is fairly long as it is. Why would you volunteer for such a thing? I find that rather odd, although I guess it gives me something else t0 think about, I guess I have too much free time, too much freedom in this house. I am glad you can hear my accent, I am rather proud that I actually sound English in a letter, that has made me smile Alfred, well done. I doubt we will be meeting any time soon Alfred dear. _

_I am glad someone thinks I am interesting, but now, love, I am going to prove you completely wrong. Well I like to read books and I very much enjoy embroidery and sewing, and I know that probably isn't your thing but I find it calming. I also enjoy listening to music sometimes it helps take away the nasty thoughts. I already specified earlier I have no friends, so that question is already answered. As far as I know I have about four brothers but I have never properly met them, once when I was five I saw them but never again after that._

_My parents? Well, they're, busy._

_Arthur Kirkland._

_P.s. answer all the questions you asked me in your next email, I would like to know you better too._

Arthur finished the email and sent it back to Alfred, however, he sat there and wondered how he could easily tell him things about himself he had told no-one else. Maybe it was the distance from each other, it certainly help to keep an air of anonymity and it wasn't like he could easily jump the pond. Arthur sighed then his hand twinged painfully, he looked down at it and it didn't seem to look any fact the movement in his hand seemed to have gotten worse; Arthur looked at bus times and then gently pulled on a coat. He would just have to go to the hospital alone, he was fifthteen after all, so not completely incapable.

Stepping out into the English rain was not quite so appealing but the feel of his throbbing hand pushed him outwards and into the pouring rain. He was completely soaked within minutes of being outside and now standing at the bus stop with no shelter made him really feel the cold. He pulled his raincoat tighter around himself, pulling his hood further over his face trying to keep away that cold wet feeling he hated. Nastily the wind blew at his hood and it fell backwards, if only for a few moments before Arthur extracted his hand from his pocket to pull it back over. He tightened the tassels and made sure it wouldn't be blown off quite so easily next time.

'_Maybe the world is trying to tell me something' _Arthur thought in his head, he spent a lot of his time wrapped up in his own thoughts. Not having anyone else to talk to you the silence becomes a part of everyday life and there has to be ways to adapt. Finally the sound of the bus could be heard from around the corner and Arthur breathed a sigh of relief. _'I could jump in front of it and no one would care'_ Arthur shook his head and ignored the thought, his mind always said stupid things like that, but in all honesty Arthur was afraid to die. He wouldn't do something as selfish and stupid as committing suicide.

The bus shuddered to a stop in front of him and the doors noisily opened to let him on, he jumped up the steps and approached the driver with a smile. "A return to Trelisk please" he spoke to the man softly who smiled back and handed him his ticket in exchange for the fare. Arthur found a seat near the window so he could watch the outside world. Even though Arthur didn't particularly like the rain but that was only when he was outside in it, otherwise he found he quite enjoyed the rain. He like to watch the subtle drops slide past the window and when he was younger and completely alone he would imagine two different drops were racing, running a loud commentary as they ran down the window of the front room. Arthur smiled to himself at his once childish nature.

Now he just liked to watch them fall past him, watching when a smaller drop was caught by a bigger one and then it would cascade faster down the window pane. Arthur found it relaxing and it made journeys on the bus less dreary, and there was no stifling sun to make it uncomfortable. Arthur breathed onto the cold glass making it hazy and then pressed his finger onto the side, drawing onto the newly made canvas. He surprisingly got quite into the drawing making the lines and markings for the image that was playing in his mind. The image was beginning to form and soon Arthur's scowl was returning, that deep seeded sadness lingering in his eyes. He finished it and looked at it with a broken heart, then the bus lurched to a stop and Arthur saw that they had arrived at the hospital. He looked at his picture and wiped it clean away as easily as it had come, the image however, floated in his head and he couldn't seem to get rid of it.

The flower Belladonna wrapped in a web of brambles.

Kiku and his father were getting rather excited to go out to the cinema together that evening; it was not often that they really had the chance. Even though there was school in the morning his father decided that for once they would get to do something together as father and son. Kiku would say he had a fairly good relationship with his father, Hiroki, while sometimes they did fight they were otherwise very close, and always tried to do something together at least once a week.

After the cinema Kiku realised how late it was and he was getting tired, so he simply rested in the front seat of the car and watched the street lights pass overhead. "Hey Kiku, is that Arthur?" His father asked him while shaking his shoulder. Kiku sat up and looked out the window; Hiroki had slowed down and was following a boy who was hunched up in his coat to protect himself from the rain.

"Umm I don't know, how could you tell?" Kiku asked wearily.

"Because his hood fell off for a bit, c'mon we'll pick him up" He replied softly and indicated to the left, stopping a few yards ahead of Arthur. Hiroki got out of the car and instructed that Kiku stay put, he then pouted at the unfairness but listened to his father and watched out the back window of the car. "Arthur?" He called, "Arthur, is that you?" The boy looked up and Hiroki confirmed that it was him; he strode forward so he was next to the boy. "What are you doing out here? It is really late and raining, you should be at home"

"Don't you think I don't know that" Arthur snapped then he sneezed violently and coughed into his hand, he knew he was getting a cold, if not already had one.

"Alright lad, c'mon I'll take you back to our place. Its closer and we can find out whats going on properly" He told him, he put a hand on his shoulder and led him to the car that was idling impatiently. Arthur resisted and stayed rooted to the spot completely unwilling to move at all.

"No, I will walk home; I have gone most of the way"

"From where?" He asked with exasperation, even Hiroki knew that Arthur had issues because Kiku had discussed what they should do to try and help him. Many times Kiku had come to him because he was upset of Arthur's behaviour, they way in which he isolated himself from everyone. It was raining and cold and he just wanted to get home so he decided he would take the first step, without any hesitation he grabbed hold of Arthur and threw him over his shoulder. Inside the car Kiku watched his father with astonished eyes and couldn't help but giggle when Arthur complained and thrashed, trying to escape. Kiku watched Arthur getting thrown into the car and his father jump back into the front. He shot Kiku a wide grin and headed back onto the main road, towards their home.

Arthur had composed himself and sat in the seat, making sure to plug his seatbelt in, he was scowling angrily trying to burn his anger into the back of Hiroki's head. They arrived at Kiku's home and Arthur quickly opened his door and began to run away before they could question his whereabouts, Hiroki quickly pounced on his escaping form and grabbed his waterproof coat by its hood. Arthur jerked back painfully and began to try and get away from him.

"Let me go! Just leave me the hell alone!" He shouted in frustration, Hiroki grabbed his shoulders and pulled him through the front door. Kiku just watched with fear in his eyes, why did Arthur want to be away from him that much? Was it really something he had done?

Had Kiku's absence really ruined their chances of friendship, of Arthur's chances to be free from loneliness, the loneliness that was creeping through his body and making him cold?

Arthur was pushed onto the sofa, his coat having been removed from his person and a towel wrapped around him tightly. Soon Kiku's mother, Kaiyo, returned with a boiling cup of tea and pushed it into Arthur's shivering and blue hand. Arthur was shivering from cold his nose running uncontrollably, he continued to using up the tissues that were given him; he really did have a cold. Soon he began to feel a little sleepy, but Hiroki sat down next to him and he knew the questioning would begin. "Okay, so what were you doing on the road side in the pouring rain and the middle of the rain?" He began. Arthur sighed heavily and looked deep into his hot drink, pensive.

"I was at the hospital and missed my bus" He replied hastily and then sipped his tea, trying to hide his face.

"Where were your parents?"

"Busy" He responded automatically. Hiroki sighed heavily and pressed his fingers to his face.

"That's all your going to tell me isn't it?" He asked knowingly. Arthur nodded and then leaned backwards, his head feeling rather heavy.

"Can I sleep?" He asked so softly, Hiroki almost thought he imagined it; he smiled and stood up so Arthur could stretch on the sofa.

"Sure, you can stay here tonight; we'll pick up your school stuff in the morning on the way"

He helped him to pull of his shoes and then left some dry clothes on the side for him to change into and then left the room. Arthur watched him leave and gently placed the mug onto a coaster, changing into warmer clothes and settling down into an uneasy sleep.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Alfred's hand was shaking so much that he found trying to go through his contacts difficult enough; eventually he found his father's number and pressed call. Shakily pressing it to his ears as he waited for it to begin ringing, it rang four times before his father picked up on the other end.

"What is it Alfred, I'm working" He said in an irritated tone and it nearly made Alfred start crying.

"Daddy, please listen to me and d-don't interrupt" He said his voice breaking a little with the strain.

"Hurry it up Alfie" He said, clearly not paying much attention.

"I was hit by a car and-"

"WHAT!" His father's voice shouted down the phone at him, Alfred cringed away from it and a few tears fell from his face. "Where are you, I am coming to get you right now!" He said, Alfred could hear him ruffling with papers and nosily moving around his office. "Gloria, hold all my calls, cancel my meetings I'm leaving" He started saying in the background.

"Dad-"

"But your three o'clock is very important, you can't miss it. International relations are not be messed with, they won't be best pleased that you just left" She responded haughtily.

"Gloria, I don't care!" His tone was becoming fraught. "My son has been in an accident, I am leaving right now" Alfred's head was beginning to hurt from the sound of his voice, he was becoming quite exasperated.

"Daddy-"

"But Mr. Jones-"

"I'm going" He said sternly.

"DAD!" Alfred yelled, making his head ache more.

"What is it Alfie, are you ok?" He asked soothingly.

"Not really, I mean I think I am fine, just some bruises. But um dad-" Then Alfred was crying again, he wasn't one to normally cry but lately his life seemed to be going downhill. First Francis and now the car accident, he felt as though the fates were against him, this had really shaken him. His whole body was aching and shivering from being hit by a car, although Alfred was lucky the driver had seen him, it could have been a lot worse. Alfred began to wonder whether he was suffering from the shock of it all, he laid his head on the pavement carefully and listened to his father's soothing words. Eventually his father had to hang up, he disclosed his location and then put his phone back into his pocket.

"I'll wait until your father gets here" The driver told him quietly, he was a kind man who felt incredibly bad for what had happened, he sat on the pavement and gently tried to comfort the boy. He was no longer crying but he couldn't seem to stop shaking, he had hit the bonnet at the speed he had slowed to, and seemed to have bruised his back and his left hand had smacked into the wind screen painfully but other than that the worst seemed to be from shock.

After another half an hour or so screeching tires could be heard from a across the road and two very worried looking men dashed over to Alfred's shivering form. "Daddy" Alfred whispered quietly, he sat up on weak arms and then pulled himself into a standing position. His father's quickly reached for him and pulled him into a tight hug, Alfred felt his body relax a little knowing his father's were there, they certainly gave him a sense of peace.

"You didn't have to call dad as well, you know?" Alfred said as they pulled away, John put his arm around Alfred's shoulder and began to lead him away while Derrick spoke to the driver of the car.

"Of course I did, think about how angry he'd be if I didn't" Alfred laughed a little and slipped into the front seat of the car. "We are gonna take you to the hospital and get you checked over" John told him as he plugged in his seat belt and put the key in the ignition.

"Okay as long as I get ice cream" Alfred said with a laugh, and then he scooted closer to his father whilst Derrick climbed in the car.

"You alright kiddo?" He asked nervously.

Alfred nodded and smiled softly. "Yeah I guess, just a bit achy, and I have a massive bruise on my arm. And my back totally hurts" Alfred told them quickly. "But daddy said he'd get me ice cream" Alfred exclaimed happily.

"No I didn't, but 'cause you're injured I guess I could oblige"

"Yay!" Alfred said raising his hands weakly above his head. John began to drive towards the hospital he had been so worried about Alfred, having him crying so often lately, sometimes he heard quiet whimpers in his room at night. He knew he was having a rough time and that he was heartbroken, but it wouldn't stop him from worrying. He just hoped he would be able to find some outlet to direct his thoughts too, and then he wouldn't have to think about that damned boy again. John was slowly humming a song he had heard on the radio this morning, trying to quiet his thoughts, he knew it would help to calm him down.

Derrick looked across worriedly at John, finally hearing his humming and he knew instantly that he wasn't feeling okay at all. John would always hum when he was nervous or incredibly worried but Derrick was just as worried too to be honest, but teenagers all go through hard times and he was afraid to say that Alfred happened to come across them now, and seemingly all at once. At least he never had to deal with the ruthless bullies that John and Derrick had, or the desertion of his family. Alfred was in fact incredibly lucky. Derrick smiled to himself; he knew he would be okay.

Alfred sat thoughtfully, and wondered if what Francis had been saying was true. Maybe he could forgive him after all.

**Okay I know I don't normally write Author's notes or anything but I need to explain about the Belladonna wrapped in Brambles because it has a significant meaning. However, it may be slighlty different depending on where you look. The definition I found however was this, the Belladonna symbolised Loneliness and deadly silence and the Brambles symbolising weariness. So I imagined the image symply meaning Loneliness and deadly silence wrapped in a web of weariness. **

**Thanks for reading. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Alfred looked at his facebook page in a quiet reflection and was unsure of what to do next. He had changed his status from single to 'in a relationship' with Francis Bonnefoy once more, and he had a stream of comments from it.

_Why did you go back to him?_

_Congrats hun! Xxx_

_That's amazing; you were such a great couple._

_This is a bad choice, what Francis did was unforgiveable._

There were mixed feelings between his friends, but a clear side was forming, those against and those for their relationship. However, Alfred himself was unsure of what he actually wanted. At first he wanted to be back with Francis but now he was incredibly unsure he was still hurt by what Francis had done, and what was there to stop him from doing it again? Alfred's heart ached terribly and his head was torn in two. He looked at the email he had received from Arthur and finally decided to reply to it, maybe Mr. Fancy-Pants Kirkland could help out his situation.

_Hey Artie._

_I think everyone deserves to be happy; maybe we can help each other out?_

_You should come to America! You could help me out! Ha ha ha, and you will get to know me, That's the point. I would DEFINITELY want you here Artie, it would be cool. I bet you are really good-looking too ;D_

Alfred paused and smiled to himself, he was definitely going to keep that in, maybe it would soften the Brit up a little bit.

_A hard time? So are you gay then Artie?_

Alfred sat there and realised an odd emotion was rising within in, he was hopeful.

_No I have many friends, they all help me out and my dads are totally awesome! So I am really sorry you are struggling over there, remember you can always talk to me Artie. Your online pen pal is here for you. I don't mind when you tell me things that are more private, I think it will make us better friends. I have something I want to say too, it's a little awkward but I guess I need advice._

Alfred proceeded to tell Artie all about Francis and his situation, making sure he mentioned the car accident too, so that he understood where his change of mind may have stemmed from. He really just needed advice from someone who couldn't just look down on him, after all Arthur was miles away.

_Now, let me finish of with something else less serious. Hahaha I am totally not fat! I will but a picture of me on this email, and that will prove to you I am not fat! One day Artie, I will have one of your scones I promise you._

_You do so have friends! You have me; I will be your friend. You really worry me Artie, I want you to be happy but some of the things you say make me very sad. I bet you have more friends than you realise, you just have to look harder. I will love you. I will love you so much that you will completely forget any loveless life you may have had. Ok? Good. _

_Literature? Ha ha ha dude that sounds really dull! But I bet you would be awesome at it, I guess it could be interesting because you probably don't much care for science! So I won't say anything mean about your choices, I think they fit you 'cause you're writing it pretty. Even in a letter._

_I MADE YOU SMILE? Wow that is awesome; I will make sure to do it much more often. 'Cause I bet your English accent is really sexy, I kind of have a thing for accents. You could probably tell because of the Francis thing. I totally think we will be meeting soon. If you needed the money I would be really willing to help you out._

_You are too cute, using love like that is absolutely adorable, I don't think I have really heard people use it often. So English! I like reading sometimes too, mind you it is mostly comics so probably not what you are really into. Can you make me something? I think it would be awesome if you sewed something and sent it over, I will draw something for you in return! I am artsy too I guess and I love to draw! This is awesome! We can totally exchange Arty things! Ha ha ha that sounds just like your name, Artie. I love music; it always makes me feel better, but sometimes worse. How about you listen to this song._

Alfred imbedded a link into the incredibly lengthy email and smiled to himself, he was really happy when talking to the Englishman.

_What do you mean 'as far as you know you have four brothers', you have to explain to me Artie. Well you should tell your parents to get some free time._

_Love, YES ARTIE LOVE, Alfred._

_P.s. Was awesome talking to you, make sure you send me a picture of yourself back._

Alfred smiled to himself and sent it back, he hoped maybe Arthur would receive it fairly soon, that way they might have the chance of having a decent conversation. Alfred would love to see what this Brit actually looked like, it made him feel funny inside his belly, he soon realised he was actually starting to like the guy, as a friend of course, and it made him happy.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur woke incredibly early and left Kiku's house as soon as he had put on his shoes, he had his school bag on him so all he had to do is walk to school. He hadn't eaten any breakfast, or in fact and dinner from yesterday. He decided he would find a small restaurant and eat some breakfast, then he changed his mind, he wasn't hungry after all. He walked to school with a scowl on his face as usual and went straight to his tutor room; Ludwig was already there and was incredibly surprised to see Arthur there so early. "Hello Arthur, oh" He stopped and glanced at Arthurs carefully bandaged hand. "It looks like you went to the hospital" He said smiling; Arthur just ignored him and sat at his desk at the back of the class.

When the bell went for the beginning of his lessons Arthur left hastily from the room as he did for each of his classes, trying to beat the bullies to his next class. Arthur arrived at lunch with the same scowl on his face; he ignored Kiku and his friends sitting in their usual space and found his usual seat at the back of the class. By this point Arthur was unbearably tired and the lack of food made him sleepy, he rest his head on the desk and let his eyes close.

"_Papa! Papa!" A young child called to a disappearing figure. "Don't leave Papa, I'm right here! You forgot me!" He yelled a little louder. The man disappeared and the boy was left in an empty space, blurred figures passing listlessly ignoring the small figure of the boy. He just floated around aimlessly with not a hope to escape. Voiceless word began to call out to him. _

_Ever stuck in blackness  
No one to stay with me here  
Fearing this endless darkness  
Walking from me in inconceivable fear  
Consumed by a loneliness  
A cold emptiness near  
My face knowingly odious  
Unable to shed a single tear  
This world stretching in starkness  
How could you leave me dear?  
_

_The rain pounding on my head  
Mud and water making my body cold  
My soul torn leaving not but a shred  
I have never felt so unbearably old  
My soul seeping an invisible red  
The blood flowing uncontrolled  
All those hurtful words said  
I give up and lose my hold  
You walk away from all I've bled  
Heartfelt words left untold_

The space you left is a gaping hole  
I thought would be an endless love  
I can't believe I'm losing control!  
I used to believe in heaven above  
Not now after everything you stole  
My heart feeling like a wingless dove  
Always broken and never again whole  
Much like a lone glove  
A broken item you can't console  
Thrown away with a nasty shove

I am nothing  
You are everything  
I feel pain  
You feel disdain  
I beg you to stay  
And you walk away  
You're back turned  
My heart burned

"My heart burned" The boy said as the words filled his head, he had trusted those people who were supposed to protect him. They were the people he had loved with all his heart, and even now he found it hard to hate them. He didn't think he ever could.

"_Don't leave me!" He began to shout. "DON'T LEAVE ME!" He yelled furiously but those ghosts of people he barely knew couldn't hear him, couldn't see him, and couldn't feel the pain they caused._

"Come back!" Arthur shouted he jolted out of his sleep and fell to the floor of the classroom in surprise and shock. Why did that dream have to hunt him even here? The reoccurring nightmare that was an epitome of his troubles in reality, he just wished he could escape as he slept. It just never worked out that way.

"Are you okay Arthur?" Kiku asked from the table, they were all looking at him with those worried expressions and Arthur scowled at them in return.

"Fine, I'm going home" He told them and picked up his bag.

"Uh no Arthur you have classes left. Don't make me give you detention"

"Fine give me detention" Arthur stood up to leave but Ludwig stood by the door with an angry expression on his face.

"You will sit down and I will escort you to your next class once lunch break is over" Arthur looked at him angrily then spat in his face, Ludwig took a step backwards in shock. "Right we're going to the principal"

"Fucking fine!" Arthur yelled and followed Ludwig out of the room. Kiku was looking in horror at what had just happened, he actually spat in Ludwig's face!

"Are we ever going to get through to him?" Kiku asked his friends softly, his eyes were swimming with tears. Hercules smiled at him and looped an arm protectively around his shoulders; he hated to see Kiku so upset.

"Of course we will, I guess he just needs time" Hercules rubbed Kiku's back gently while Gilbert and Yao nodded in agreement.

"What Arthur did was so un-awesome. He deserves to be in trouble, I know he's having a tough time but Mr. Diederich is trying to help him. We all know how worried he is" Gilbert added into the conversation, he was a little disgusted by Arthur's behaviour, they were all trying to help him and he is behaving like a child.

"I hate to say it, but I agree with Gilbert, Arthur's behaviour in unacceptable" Yao added.

"You're still going to help him though?" Kiku asked worriedly, he didn't like Arthur's behaviour either but he still knew his heart was good; he was just being pushed and pulled cruelly.

"Of course we are, we want to get Arthur back, we want to be friends again" Gilbert said grinning. "Then he can start hanging around the awesome me again" He laughed softy with the others and they enjoyed a quiet lunch.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur left late from school after having to suffer through an after school detention with Ludwig himself and then being told he was being put onto a report card. Which meant he couldn't just miss lessons if he wanted to, Arthur found himself grinding his teeth. Arthur knew he didn't even need to attend all of his lessons, he was always there for tests and always got straight A's, so proving he never fell behind, and his grades were impeccable even if his attendance was so low. It was often why the teachers couldn't call him up on the fact he skived lessons because he was at the top of every one of his classes.

Arthur arrived at the drive way to his house and saw his mother's car in the drive, his heart fluttered in excitement as he ran up the steps to the house. The door was slightly ajar as he reached it and he ran inside with a small smile lingering on his lips. "Mother? Are you here?" He called into the vast house.

"Arthur? Still alive eh? Well good for you, where you been kid?" She asked from the front room. Arthur followed her voice and opened the door wide. A cloud of smoke was emitted thus already staining and stinking up the house Arthur strived so hard to keep clean. 'Was that weed?' Arthur thought to himself, it wouldn't surprise him at all.

"Yes Mother I am still alive, how have you been?" Arthur asked politely as he sat next to his mother, brushing away the crumbs and mess she had left behind.

"Been o'right, only jus got back, dint' I. Jason's upstairs" She told him, carelessly flicking her cigarette smoke onto the carpet, Arthur sat there and watched it begin to stain and mold the carpet, he knew it would take ages to get the stain out.

"How long are you staying for this time? It would be nice if you stayed here for dinner" Arthur told her quietly, he looked across at his mother and sighed sadly. She had aged horribly, her face had become lined and worn and slightly yellowed, most likely from all the smoking she had been doing. Her eyes were red and she had large bags beneath them, her hands shook as she took a drag from her cigarette. His mother had gotten terribly old.

"Well, it'll be for a week or two this time. So me and you can catch up, can't we kid? We is gonna sell some things and then leave for good" She told Arthur, he froze and looked at the woman who he called mother.

"What do you mean sell stuff? You don't have anything to sell?" He asked her in an even quieter voice.

"The stuff in the house, plus we is gonna heave some stuff to Jason's place" She answered for him, and as she did so Arthur watched her flick her cigarette away from her, it flew spinning through the air and landed on the tiled area by the fireplace. Arthur looked at his mother in disgust and ran from the front room to his own bedroom, he banged open the door and looked at it in horror. His room had been pilfered and destroyed, the posters torn from the walls as though they had been looking for something. His bed frame was gone and his mattress was bare and pushed up against the wall, the computer was gone and the desk was in pieces all around the room. His draws had been ripped open and his clothes thrown around, Arthur could tell that not all of them still remained.

Arthur walked into his ruined room in complete disbelief; he stood on something soft and looked under his foot, beneath his clean trainers lay a muddy and dishevelled toy. A small mint green bunny with wings, Arthur had sewn it himself when he found himself growing lonely and his imaginary friends had begun to fade, this one was the only that remained. He reached downwards and pulled the ragged thing into his cold hands, cradling it close to himself as his dry eyes looked around his empty room. All the books had been thrown to the floor as the bookcase was removed, he was glad all his books seem to have remained, at least that was something his mother was unwilling to steal.

Arthur thanked the tiny bit of luck he had that his wallet was safe in his locker at school; his cards and money were still safe from his thieving mother. Arthur pulled his mattress away from the wall so it was lying flat on an empty space and found a torn pillow but placed it neatly at the head of it. He found his old blanket that he was given in the hospital as a baby, he wondered why his mother kept it, and lay it on the slightly filthy mattress. Arthur turned back to look at the mess of his room and pulled a tight smile on his face, he staggered towards the pile on the floor and began to stack them up in alphabetical order against the wall. Creating a large wall of books at the back of his room, soon Arthur had sorted each of his precious novels into the order he was accustomed to and found he was relaxing.

He picked up all his remaining clothes and found he was left with three pairs of slacks and old pair of jeans, two old t-shirts a couple pairs of socks and most of his underwear. They had pilfered most of his wardrobe, he nearly had nothing left. He lay his clothes neatly next to his mattress and found the old broken lamp, it was damaged but worked fine, and he plugged it in and switched it on. Arthur sighed to himself and looked at the rest of the mess in his room, he was far from finished. He pushed all that remained into a large pile in the corner and slowly began to pick through the mess, finding an old bag to put in any rubbish he found. He came across various objects from his childhood, never things he was bought but things he had made and he carefully placed each one into an old shoebox he fixed with tape.

Each of the pieces of his posters he found he would place into a small pile and then would continue to rifle through the pile of mess that was lay before him. So many memories, bitter memories of being completely alone and each of them pierced him violently in the heart.

Arthur looked to the pieces of his posters and slowly and carefully began to tape them all back together, being careful to line them up diligently. Soon all seven of his posters were taped together; they looked worn, old and battered. Not really worth pinning back on the walls but Arthur decided to do so anyway. First he fixed his sex pistols poster to the wall and ironed out some of the kinks as best as he could with his hands, next was a large picture of the Tardis bursting through time and space, Arthur was an avid fan of the Doctor Who series. Another one of John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness in Torchwood, Arthur finding his face heating up and a tiny giggle fell from his lips, he had to admit he had once had a tiny celebrity crush on the man. The fourth poster was a large old poster of the world, a world map he had purchased as a child, a length of red marks lay across the entire thing as he planned out where he would travel and explore. Tiny notes and facts about some of the countries he most desired to go to, some became far more thoughtful as he grew older.

"Arthur" His mother said from the doorway. "Why are you sticking those stupid things up?" She asked him, kicking the full bin across the room as she walked in. Arthur winced with annoyance and pain that she had caused him.

"I like them, I can keep them can't I mother?" He asked her worriedly, he was afraid she or Jason would come back and rip them down again.

"Well I don't want them; nothing in here is of any use. Just keep it all" She was smoking in his room and it was filling his senses, making him feel sick. "Make us some food for about half seven, we are gettin' hungry" She told him and then left his room once more. Arthur ran to the cleaning cupboard downstairs and grabbed a scrubbing brush and a lot of cleaning supplies, and the air freshener. He stormed back to his room and sprayed the stagnant air with the calming pine scent, and he threw open all the windows to try and rid his room of his mothers nasty smell. He re-picked up the rubbish and tied up the bag this time, and then he looked down at the three remaining posters and decided he would continue in his cleaning process. He grabbed another one with one of his favourite films, the 'League of Extraordinary Gentleman' and tacked it to his wall; the sixth one was a simple poster expressing his love of books. And finally, the fourth picture a large union jack poster with the words 'keep calm and carry on', on it. Arthur looked at those words, those so very British words and felt his heart fall deeper into an unending emptiness; he couldn't understand why he should carry on. What was the point?

That is what he had been doing all his life, and nothing ever changed.

He grabbed the cleaning supplies and scrubbed the muddied floor until it was cleaner than it probably was before. He left the window open to help the carpet dry and looked at his now very empty room, sighing in exasperation and tiredness; he made his way to the kitchen.

Dinner needed to be served.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur returned to school looking incredibly haggard and he had a bruise on his eye and a cut lip. He walked into Ludwig's room at lunch dragging his bag with a sad look on his face, not even his usual scowl remained. He looked at Kiku his eyes were pleading to him and Kiku got up from his seat and ran to him, enveloping him in a tight hug. Arthur didn't move in his hold, he didn't hug Kiku back but he didn't pull himself away, he simply stood there in the soft hug Kiku held him in. When Kiku finally pulled away he looked worriedly into Arthurs eyes and he saw that their usual fighting glare had vanished, it was just a sad emptiness that remained. Arthur moved away and sat at the first seat in the room, looking straight ahead at nothing in particular like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Kiku weakly sat back at the table and lay his head on the desk.

Trying to help Arthur was hard, in some instances he seemed to be getting better, after all he hadn't flinched away from his touch, but other moments seemed to echo the severity of his condition. "Arthur, I am referring you to the school psychologist, we want to try and schedule a session a week. The first one is after school this Friday, is that okay with you?" Ludwig asked breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Arthur nodded.

"I still haven't seen your pen pal reports, have you got them with you?" Ludwig's voice was filled with tenderness and caring, he was trying to ease Arthur into talking. He hadn't said a single word since he had entered the room, which was unusual in itself for the angry child.

Arthur nodded.

He pulled them out of his bag and passed them over to him, they were far lengthier than he had originally believed they would be, Ludwig wouldn't read over them extensively, he only needed to know communication had taken place. He handed them back to him and Arthur dropped them into his bag. "There is something I want to ask you Arthur, it would need the signature from one of your parents, I would like to try and get permission. I was hoping you would enjoy the privilege of partaking in an exchange programme. So you would go to Alfred's home in America and Alfred would come here, would you enjoy that?"

Arthur nodded.

Ludwig was surprised he had said yes, but from the extent of the many emails and letters they seem to have grown closer. Ludwig smiled at the silent Arthur and began to explain the extent of the programme, it would be taking place in a few months, and the cost was a bit expensive but if he needed help then Ludwig would be able to sort it out. However, at this moment Arthur pulled out a check book and gave him the exact amount. Ludwig gaped at it and looked at Arthur questioningly.

"Is this okay to do?" Ludwig asked the boy.

Arthur nodded.

Ludwig felt worried and yet slightly happy, he had found something that Arthur wanted to do, he had agreed so easily that it had surprised all of them that sat in the room. After lunch was finished Arthur left just as silently as he had entered and was gone as though he had never been there. Ludwig looked down at the small photo of Alfred F. Jones and sighed, I wonder if this kid could be the friend Arthur so desperately needed, could Alfred be the hero that Arthur that was so essential for his wellbeing? Could this be something that would help Arthur?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Ludwig was sitting at the dining table with a thoughtful expression on his face; he picked up his coffee mug and took a sip of the bitter drink. It was barely even warm anymore and Ludwig slowly pondered how long he had been sitting alone at the table.

Feli was mad at him.

Ludwig had woken on Saturday morning to a cold and empty bed; he had wandered into the kitchen to see Feli leaning against the kitchen unit scowling into a mug of tea. Ludwig had approached him and wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling his face into his cheek. "Why are you up so early?" Feli had pushed Ludwig away from him and glared at him.

"You always forget about me!" Feli yelled at him, his cup fell from his hands and smashed onto the linoleum flooring. His eyes were becoming watered and he looked like he was about to cry.

"What-what do you mean?" Ludwig said taking a step closer to his love, reaching a hand towards his face. Feli slapped his hand away from himself and the tears fell over and finally slipped down his face. He wiped them away and a small sob left his mouth, Ludwig looked on in shock.

"My art show was last night, and you forgot. You didn't even remember at all did you? You never remember anything that I do! I have been feeling so lonely and you don't even seem to notice, you are so cold Luddy" Feli burst into a torrent of tears and his shoulders began to shake with tears, Ludwig could do nothing but stare at him. Feli ran from the room and Ludwig heard the front door open and then close with a resounding thud.

Ludwig had been sitting at the table since, not moving from the table. Just waiting patiently hopping that his Feli would come back home to him. Ludwig watched the sun drift across the sky, watching the shadows grow longer and longer until soon he was bathed in darkness. Ludwig was alone.

The door creaked open and a small shuffling noise was heard from near the door. Ludwig didn't turn to see Feliciano walk into the cold and dark house, he walked into the kitchen and switched on the light. Ludwig let his head fall onto his arms, resting it gently, his head turned so he could watch Feli. He walked slowly around the kitchen and pulled out a glass so he could get himself a drink of water, he leant against the counter and drank it slowly. His eyes were red from crying and his clothing was dishevelled and a little damp. Ludwig stood up from the table and walked carefully towards his lover. Feli watched him with wary eyes and Ludwig found his own heart cracking a little. He reached Feli and wrapped him up tightly in his strong arms, burying his face into the crook of his neck. Before he even realised it he was crying on him. His broken sobs cracking into the silence of the kitchen.

"I-I'm sorry" He cried to him. Feli was gently rubbing his back trying to comfort the sobs that were emanating from Ludwig. "Please don't leave me Feli, I don't want to be alone again. I'll remember better I pro-promise" His voice cracked at the end of the sentence and he sunk to his knees dragging his Feli with him.

"Ve~ Its okay Luddy, I am not going to leave you. It was only one fight" He said softly. TO be perfectly honest Ludwig's tears had completely surprised Feli, and his outburst about leaving had left him shocked. Feliciano knew that Ludwig had been aloe a lot as a child and a teenager but he didn't realise he feared him leaving like this.

"You didn't come back" Ludwig whispered, his body was shaking a little.

"Ve~ I'm back now Luddy, please calm down you're scaring me" He said softly kissing his forehead affectionately. Ludwig pulled away from him and wipe his face while shaking a little he couldn't even look at Feli. He reached forwards and tilted Luddy's head upwards so he was looking at him directly; he softly wiped away the stray tears and kissed each closed eyelid. Ludwig opened his shimmering blue eyes and looked into Feli's now burning amber ones. "I am not going to leave you Luddy, it was only a fight I don't know what you are used to but I won't just leave you. I love you Luddy, so calm down please and understand that it's me and you forever" Ludwig was looking at him with watery eyes and nodded weakly, pulling Feli closer once more then softly pushing their lips together.

"I love you Feli" He told him quietly.

"I love you too Luddy" Feli replied and he smiled for the first time that day. Feliciano couldn't help but wonder what Ludwig had been through, what kind of life he must have had to fear that one fight meant he would be gone forever.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Ludwig had a fairly normal life until he was ten years old when his mother and father began to argue. They would argue a lot, and soon after a huge fight, that left Ludwig trembling in his room, his mother left and never came back. All the photos and belongings had disappeared from the house and soon it was just Ludwig and his father. Ludwig would wander through the house looking at the cleaner patches along the wall where photos used to be, there wasn't any evidence that his mother had once lived here at all. Ludwig would try and remember what those photos had been, but even though they had been there for years he could not recall any of them. He was sure that one or two of them were of him as a child, but he really couldn't remember and it frustrated him to no end. He would often question his father about the photos and his mother but he wouldn't even acknowledge that they even existed. Soon Ludwig stopped asking all together.

From then on Ludwig's father became clingy and overbearing, making sure he was always wrapped up in winter and slathered in sun cream in the summer; he couldn't stay out for long and wasn't allowed friends home. Being at home was family time. They would sit in the front room and watch the television or play a board game. Ludwig realised that his father was feeling vulnerable and lonely without his mother, but because of this he forced himself on Ludwig who found himself without any friends. When Ludwig was fourteen his father had a heart attack and was in the hospital for a week before he died. Ludwig was left without his beloved parent and he grieved painfully for his father.

Ludwig sat at his hospital bed all week watching his vitals flailing and falling, he slowly got worse and it pained him seeing the father he adored the doctors thought he would make it through because the worse had passed, but he seemed to just give up. Ludwig thought that he never truly got over his mother leaving and that's what really broke his heart. His father never woke up again after his heart attack, Ludwig had to sit there and watch his father die. He was hooked up to so many machines and he looked awful, Ludwig was told to try and talk to his father, but he had nothing to say. What could he say when he looked like that?

On the seventh day Ludwig was sitting next to his father's bed when the machines started flaring up and he looked around in a panic, "Daddy?" he said fearfully. "Daddy, you can't leave me!" He yelled angrily. Ludwig was quickly pulled out of the room and pushed into a tiny waiting room with a few other people, all of them looked weary and sad. Ludwig couldn't sit, he shakily grabbed a glass of water and tried to drink with his dry and scratchy mouth, it felt like trying to swallow carpet. Ludwig stood there waiting for the doctor to return. Soon a few of the other visitors left to see their relatives and Ludwig was the only one left. The sun had long since faded and the automatic lights now hummed in the silence.

Ludwig was standing by the window looking at the few stars he could see through the light pollution and was silently wishing for his father to be okay. He stopped believing in magic that day. He stopped believing in dreams. He stopped believing that happiness comes to all.

The doctor entered the room and motioned for Ludwig to sit. He didn't. "We tried everything we could but I'm afraid he didn't make it, I'm sorry" The man told him, his expression was sad. Ludwig however doubted he even cared, he had to face death all the time, and this was just part of his job.

"I want to see him" Ludwig said. He was fourteen years old and he had just lost the man who loved and cared for him, he felt strangely hollow. He couldn't cry, he just wanted to say his own goodbyes to his father. The doctor nodded and led him out the door. Ludwig looked at his father lying there completely still and lifeless. He didn't look any different than from before, except now there was just an eerie silence that hung in the stagnant air. Ludwig kissed his father's forehead and walked out of the room, he walked down the long corridor that stunk of disinfectant. He found a hard seat in a long corridor and watched people walking past, nurses heading to work.

Eventually someone found him after he had been sitting there for the entire day and he was lead into a private meeting room. "Ludwig, we know your father has recently died and we send our sympathies doe your loss, but we need to arrange what will happen to you now you are alone. Everything of your father's is going to you, but because of your age it is going to be held until you are of age. We will have to move you to a children's home and then see if we can contact some of your relatives. Now…" The man talked and talked about the various options that he now faced and Ludwig found himself barely listening.

Soon he was moved from the hospital and stayed with a couple for a few weeks while they tried to organise where he was to live and what they were to do with his assets. Not once did Ludwig shed a tear. It was the third week of being completely alone when he was eating dinner and he dropped his fork, weakly he bent to pick it up and then he realised how tired he was. With that simple thought Ludwig began to cry. He cried for the loss of his father and oddly it made him feel a little better. He knew it wouldn't bring him back, or make his life any better but expressing those feelings made him feel freer.

The authorities tried in vain to search for his mother but it seemed she had left the country and couldn't return to care for her son, Ludwig felt rejected and alone. He was pushed into a care home with many other children most of which were disturbed and troubled. He had to share a room with another boy called Ivan who he found to be a violent and incredibly disturbed. During the first week Ludwig woke and was completely encased in cling film, he had tried to scream but he was trapped within its confines, Ludwig passed out until a care worker entered and freed him. After that there were many incidents that terrified Ludwig and made him scared about going back to the home, scared of Ivan waiting there for him.

It was a year after they had been sharing a room when Ivan had actually gone as far to pull a knife on him and Ivan was immediately relocated and Ludwig never heard from him again. Ludwig was never fostered; it was always difficult to get a child of his age into a stable foster home, especially a child such as Ludwig who was silent and stoic. A broken child.

When Ludwig was sixteen he was set up into a half way house, utterly and hopelessly alone. He studied hard at school and found himself doing well, succeeding in getting into college. Where he voluntarily began the pen pal programme and finally Feliciano came into his life. Everything from then on got better. He got into university in order to study to become a teacher and once he had finished he got a job and found himself immersed in his work, helping out the students he looked after all the while still talking with Feliciano.

It was his third summer being a teacher when he flew to Italy for the first time and met the boy he had been talking to for a considerable amount of his life. With that first glance Ludwig knew he loved him. Those brown eyes that burned orange like the falling autumn leaves were enchanting. He was the only constant in his lonely life and he found himself smiling and laughing with him. He had fallen hopelessly and helplessly in love with Feliciano Vargas, and he didn't know what to do about it. The spent their few weeks cruising around Italy, Feli showing him all the popular tourist sites as well as the places that were more private, places only residents would know about. It was magical.

Magic, something Ludwig learned to believe in once more with Feliciano at his side.

The day before he left for home Ludwig found himself growing depressed, his thoughts swirling around never going back home. But he loved his job, and he had a home he had to go back to. Feli noticed his mood and found himself reciprocating the same feelings, he didn't want Luddy to leave either. They both knew he had to go.

So as Ludwig stood shaking in the airport he looked back at Feli waving softly and his mind filled with a crystal clearness that he had always longed for. He suddenly strode forwards and pulled Feli into his arms, pushing his lips against the one he adored. Feli squeaked and then hummed with pleasure; he had waited so long for this to happen. Within those moments they both realised how stupid they had been for not doing this sooner. Ludwig wiped the tears from Feli's cheeks and whispered softly. "I'll see you later, I promise" He kissed his head and left on the plane home.

For that next year they Skyped and emailed but it wasn't any good, they were both unbearably lonely, and Ludwig knew it wouldn't be the same as having his Italian in his arms. So when he saw Feli standing soaking at his door he nearly cried with the pain, the pain of his soul feeling so full and so complete in that one single moment. Ludwig had a tough life, but there were so many moments that were good, and he could see them all.

Ludwig was happy, but he was always afraid that this happiness would be shattered in a single heart breaking event. The argument was nearly too much for his heart to bear, but after he echoed his fears to Feli, he took them onto his own shoulders and they burdened them together. They are trying to grow stronger and are trying to do it as one; Ludwig is trying to alter his focus. For a lot of his life he only needed to care about work, but now he had to remember he had another person to look after too and Feli was the most important when it came to work and his love.

Feli was better than anything he could have in this world.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur walked into the lunch room, his body was aching terribly and he knew everyone was wondering about the new cut on his lip and the barely faded bruise on his eye. He sat down quietly in his usual table at the back and rested his weary head on his arms. His mother's boyfriend had been beating him this past week; he was very violent with or without the influence of drugs or alcohol, and had been trying to get money from him. He was under the idea that he had a safe stored somewhere in the house, completely unfounded and untrue but he didn't seem to understand. Arthur had left his wallet at school since they arrived, just completely refusing to bring it anywhere near the house.

Arthur was tired.

He was physically exhausted and his emotional state was near breaking point. His eyes were welling up as he sat there watching the clouds drift by so gently, and so freely. Arthur often wished he could fly, and then he could escape everything and be free from the pain at least for one day. "We could go to my house and play it, I have a big TV we could have a movie night after" Kiku was saying enthusiastically from behind him. Each word would pierce through his resolve. Arthur knew he would cry any minute if he didn't leave. He'd be damned if he did it in front of these people.

"That would be awesome!" Gilbert was now saying, Arthur could hear him stand up noisily.

"I think it would be good, I'll bring some of my own movies" Heracles added.

"Shall we just make it a sleepover" Kiku asked them all.

"That would be perfect, I can bring some food over too" Yao was now saying. Their talk of a night in together, being friendly was breaking Arthur's heart. He quickly pushed himself away from the desk and thrust the rest of his books into his bag. He was going to leave early if it was the last thing he would do. Just before Arthur neared their table his foot caught on the desk and his arms darted out in front of him, he caught himself but tripped over his own feet and his bag got caught on a table. The force of his weight pulling against the strap on his bag caused the entire thing to rip apart and his belongings went tumbling to the floor.

"A-are you okay Arthur?" Ludwig asked from the desk. Arthur stood there for a second and looked at all his stuff over the floor, Kiku and Yao already beginning to pick it up. Something inside Arthur snapped.

It just broke there in front of his eyes and it all built up inside his body and snapped. Arthur screamed and grabbed all of his books tearing them into pieces, even as Kiku and Ludwig tried to stop him he continued to tear up and smash his belongings. Arthur's work from the past year in shreds and Arthur finally let loose his tears. His hands fell to his sides and his knees hit to floor of the classroom and he sobbed. His body was shaking with uncontrollable sobs and as Kiku held him he cried harder, the bell had long since gone but no one had left him, and no one had disturbed them in the class room.

Arthur soon calmed and his tears dried but he felt hollow inside, he no longer had any tears to cry. Kiku just sat there with him stroking his back gently and Arthur clung to him, his hands gripping his jumper. "Arthur, let me take you home" Ludwig said softly, his hand resting on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur shook his head.

"Please" He whispered. "I don't want to go home" He told them quietly. He let go of Kiku and looked at his torn books, he shakily began to pick them

"I can't take you to my home Arthur" Arthur ignored him and carried on picking up his tattered belongings.

"He can come to my house tonight" Yao said softly, he had started to help Arthur pick up his stuff. Arthur looked at him and Yao smiled at him, Arthur couldn't smile so he found himself frowning. But warily he nodded. Yao smiled even bigger and handed Arthur his things, standing and helping him to his feet. Arthur shakily grabbed his broken bag and looked despondently at the torn seam. "Will you need to get a new one?" Yao asked. Arthur shook his head.

"I can sew" He told them, Kiku and Yao smiled happily. It was the first time Arthur had willingly offered information about himself. Arthur couldn't even look at any of them so he chose to scowl instead; it was a far easier expression to show than any other.

"Well Arthur, we'll see you tomorrow for school okay" Gilbert said grinning at him Arthur gave a jerky nod and turned away from them. He stopped next to the door and waited for Yao to follow him. Yao skipped after Arthur and waved to the others as they left, after all they were nearly at the end of the day now, nearly three quarters of the way through their last lesson.

Kiku, Ludwig, Gilbert and Heracles remained; they all sat tiredly onto their seats, preparing to discuss Arthur once more. "I think today has been a major breakthrough" Ludwig began.

"Seriously? Were you here when he went crazy?" Gilbert asked his form tutor incredulously.

"It is a breakthrough because Arthur has expressed himself; he has let out some of his feelings. What happened was him showing us he is angry but he is also very sad" Kiku told him his words filled with sorrow.

"Yes Kiku, think about how much he may have been suppressing, and even though it was only a small incident that seemed to make him break down it is underlying possibly many larger ones. Those are what we are trying to get to" Ludwig told them with a small smile.

"Well what did the psychiatrist say?" Hercules asked him with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Well I don't know details because of confidentiality, but it wouldn't matter because he hasn't said anything. At all" Ludwig sighed bitterly.

Kiku found himself laughing a little. "Typical Arthur, he is too stubborn for his own good"

"Yes apparently so. But with those new bruises and cuts I think I am going to call social services. Something is clearly off about his home life right now, something has changed" All his students looked at him with pale faces and a little bit of shock, they hadn't realised it would get this serious. "It is my obligation to do so as a teacher" Ludwig stood from where he sat and opened the door for the students to leave. "I need each and every one of you to be there for Arthur, okay, it's tough but we can get through to him somehow" He smiled at them, his good-hearted and intelligent pupils with pride.

"See you tomorrow Mr. Diederich" Gilbert said for them all as the exited the deserted classroom. Ludwig sighed as he closed the door and sat at his desk, picking up his phone and dialling an outside number.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Alfred looked at the latest email he had received from Arthur and sighed heavily. Did he really have to do that? He wasn't sure if he was brave enough and Alfred enjoyed being well liked, he didn't want to lose that. Arthur was suggesting he go and leave Francis because he clearly didn't feel the same as he did before, and what he had done was despicable. Then Artie had done a cute thing by calling him a damned French frog. It had made Alfred laugh and Alfred hadn't laughed much at all lately.

What had also made his belly feel wobbly was when Artie admitted to his sexuality, he was gay and he was having a tough time at school. It made Alfred feel sad for him and he longed to be able to help his British friend.

A friend who he spoke more truths to than anyone that he knew.

Arthur had told him he was glad he had sent the photo and told him was very handsome it made Alfred smile, he was glad he liked it and when Alfred open the attachment Arthur had sent along with the email he found himself blushing. Arthur was gorgeous! Those eyes were more beautiful than anything he had ever seen. Alfred sat there for a few minutes looking wistfully at the cute Brit and came to a sad realisation. Artie wasn't smiling. His face was blank as if he had wiped it of emotion, there seemed to be a small fire in his eyes but that was the only emotion he could gain from the photo. Alfred made sure to tell Artie that he wanted a smiling photo next, he was determined to have this Brit smiling and laughing, if it was the last thing he did.

The emails Artie sent him always made him sad and happy the contents made him sad because he seemed ever so lonely and he was clearly crying out for something. However, he was happy that Artie seemed to be having fun talking to him. Artie had clearly avoided the subject about love once more; it was clearly a sore spot for him. Maybe there was a really bad break up? Alfred asked him about it, he hoped that he would tell him about it.

Arthur seemed to get embarrassed as the letter progressed going on about how he wasn't cute, using his weird word 'git' at the end of it. Saying he definitely wasn't sexy and he probably didn't have that much of an accent at all, he really was trying to put Alfred off him. Arthur had also told him that he was making something for Alfred, it made Alfred's heart flutter a little and he began to contemplate what he would make for Artie, he needed to think of something to draw for him. Or he could paint? Alfred contemplated for a little what he could draw and found himself smiling; he knew it would be perfect for him to draw for his little Brit.

Arthur had apparently enjoyed the song, it was a rather enchanting song and Alfred had listened to it for days. Alfred opened up his YouTube page and found the song with ease. He opened it up and he began to hum along to it, soon the singing began and Alfred found himself singing along, he stood up from his chair and began to sway along to it, imagining himself on a large stage singing the song out to a crowd. "_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor, reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore" _Alfred began with a smile on his face, this song was perfect for his mixed emotions. The feeling that his relationship with Francis was in tatters but he was spending his time looking across at the phone on his desk, as if willing it to ring but it lay there silently. _"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time" _He used to always contemplate what Francis would be thinking of, wondering if he was thinking about him, wondering if they were both thinking about each other in the same fleeting moment.

The chorus was coming and Alfred prepared himself, standing tall and taking a deep breath so he could try and breathe his feelings into the words. _"It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now, said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now and I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now!" _Alfred found himself nearly yelling, throwing his voice ahead of himself into his room, shouting at the Captain America poster on his wall. He honestly found himself wanting Francis, he knew he still felt for him but he had hurt him so callously. He wanted to see Francis but doing so would hurt his already aching heart. He was just so confused that he was unsure what to do.

The second verse came around and a male voice chimed in making the harmony of Alfred's and his voice sweeter. _"Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door, wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before" _Alfred was smiling, thinking of the time he had been talking to Francis on the phone for an hour and he kept saying he missed him, and Francis had hung up and ten minutes later Francis was standing in his doorway. A bag of popcorn and a movie for them to watch together, it had been such a romantic night that was completely spontaneous. _"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time"_

As the chorus came around again Alfred found his tears welling up and he was almost crying out the words, he felt like he was begging as the words rung out in the air of his room. _"It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now, said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now and I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now!"_There was an instrumental and Alfred found himself humming again, letting his voice carry out the notes that came swiftly to him, then a line he knew and loved so well sounded through his computer.__

_"Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all"_ Alfred was thankful that he had loved Francis, and probably still did, but the hurt was so much. It was so painful that even singing these words made Alfred cry he stopped singing and let the final chorus lines ring out, unsung and hanging heavy in the air. _"It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now and I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now and I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now. Ooo, baby, I need you now"_

Alfred stood there crying feeling like the biggest idiot in the world; it was just a stupid song. Alfred sat heavily back on his seat and stared at the email had composed to Artie, he smiled at the words 'Love Arthur', at the end and it made him feel a little happier. Alfred went to the bathroom and washed his face trying to rid the evidence of his tears before his father's came home. Alfred looked at the photo of Francis he had on his computer and realised it was time to let go. Things weren't going to be the same and Alfred didn't think he could forgive him for what he had done, and because of how harshly he had committed the act.

Alfred nodded to himself and put a determined look on his face, he would end things with Francis before he found himself hurting again. He put the song on again and this time listened to it quietly and he wasn't brought to tears this time, he just sat and listened to the words one day he wouldn't desperately need Francis the way he had before.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Across the ocean Arthur was singing the song in his head as he sat in his bedroom, hoping one day he could be so helpless that he needed someone that way. He smiled a tiny smile before it turned back to a frown and drifted to sleep with the song ringing over and over in his mind. That night he dreamt he met the Alfred he had seen in the picture and they danced and sang and most of all, they laughed. They laughed so much that Arthur found himself smiling when he woke the next morning, and bigger smile than he had had in a long time.

'Alfred,' Arthur thought to himself. 'I hope you live up to expectations'.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8

The walk home from school was silent for Yao and Arthur, who kept a few paces behind Yao for most of the walk; Yao eventually grew tired of this behaviour and stood next to him, making sure they walked next to each other. Arthur had looked at him surprised but didn't question it. When they finally made it to Yao's house Arthur became hesitant but Yao pulled him in with a warm smile on his face. "If you just sort out your coat and shoes I'll be back in a moment" Yao said with a smile, and he ventured further into the house. Arthur's green eyes watched him carefully and then he toed off his shoes and placed them neatly next to the others and gently took off his coat hanging in neatly and inconspicuously on the coat hook, he picked his bag up and held it close to himself, waiting for Yao to return. Not moving from the spot the in the doorway.

Yao walked into the kitchen and found his mother quickly explaining what was happening with Arthur in as few words as possible and she easily agreed to let him stay the night. Yao returned to see Arthur completely stock still and looking down at his feet. Yao coughed and Arthur looked up sharply, where Yao swore he saw the ghost of a smile on his face. It was so fleeting he wasn't sure if he had seen it or not. He led Arthur inside and upstairs to his bedroom where Arthur dropped his bag and then slowly began to look through the remnants of his belongings. "Yao?" Arthur asked, rather he whispered and Yao nearly missed it had he not been watching him at the time.

"Yes?" He answered with another smile, Arthur was frowning again but it was far from vehement rather it was defensive and sad.

"Can I use some tape?" He asked softly, Arthur used to have an edge to his voice, now he had just become afraid and guarded. He used to curse at others and when he was very comfortable with the group he used to show his true emotions. Yao smiled at him and passed him some tape Arthur sat precariously on the edge of the bed and began to piece by piece tape each of his books together, Yao watched him and let him continue, he could tell that it was what Arthur needed. He needed this to calm himself after the stress of the day's emotions, it was necessary for him to find some peace. Soon Yao distracted himself by doing his homework and was finding himself a little troubled by one of his English questions, he noticed something move at the corner of his eye and then Arthur was hovering over him, looking down at his work.

"You should look closer at the passage you were given before you give that answer" He guided him; Yao checked it over again and found his answer much easier.

Yao smiled again. "Thanks Arthur" Arthur nodded briefly and then pulled a chair next to Yao, Yao continued to do his homework and Arthur just watched and waited patiently, every now and again helping Yao with his work, guiding him to the right answers. When Yao had finished he stood and put it into his bag, then sat and faced Arthur. "You hungry?" He asked patiently. Arthur nodded. "Sorry, I can't hear you?" Yao asked again.

"Yes Yao, I hope you don't mind me staying here" Arthur said and he found himself blushing brightly from the way Yao treated him. He didn't find it rude, in fact he found it helped, that people made him talk.

"Of course I don't Arthur, I'll just go and see when dinner is ready, have you fixed all of your books?" He asked politely.

"There are some things that can't be fixed" Arthur told him, he wasn't looking at Yao, just quietly looking at his rather beaten up belongings. Yao wasn't sure what to say so he left the room quietly trying to ignore the double meaning held in Arthur's words, he checked with his mother about dinner and walked back to his room, Arthur was drawing. Yao sat next to him and Arthur looked up at him with wide eyes, then his frown returned quickly. He was drawing a flower.

"What flower is that?" Yao asked cautiously.

"It is a Chrysanthemum, they are also known as 'mums', the white is particularly symbolic of death, lamentation and grief. Beautiful isn't it" Arthur spoke with a hollow voice, and each word seemed to be echoing a piece of himself. Yao was definitely incredibly worried about his friend, he hated seeing him like this all of them were seriously worried about his mental stability.

"So Arthur" Yao began, he decided he would just come out and say it. "What is your life at home like" Yao watched as he jumped a little at the question, his eyes went wide and his face paled. A touchy subject that was clear.

"Fine" He told him croakily.

"Don't lie to me Arthur, everyone is worried about you, don't you see it?" He told him and Yao found he was scowling at the boy as well.

"I'm sorry" Arthur said softly. Then he did something that really surprised Yao, he softly laid his head against Yao's shoulder and took a deep breath which cracked with oncoming tears. "I'm tired Yao, all the time" He told him quietly, Yao could hear the tears in his voice. He pulled himself further onto the bed, pulling Arthur with him and leaned against the wall, Arthur just lay with his head against Yao and cried silently. Soon Arthur began to drift into an uneasy sleep, Yao let him rest on him, when his mother came in, he shushed her in case she was noisy and she smiled softly then lay their dinner on the bed. Yao began to pick at his food because he was starving, after a while he decided to wake Arthur so he could eat food. Arthur woke slowly and his face grew red at the position he was in then he slowly ate the food before him.

After the awkward beginning to their evening Yao and Arthur set out to watch some films together, murmuring quietly to one another about anything that wasn't to do with Arthur's life. Yao thought that Arthur had given him enough today and didn't want to push him for more. They had a good night and Arthur began to remember the reasons he had grown fond of his friendship with Yao, they had similar tastes and he enjoyed the quiet intelligent talks they had together. Arthur found his heart warming and his scowl slowly disappeared from his face. He didn't smile but he was no longer using the scowl as a shield.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Kiku was waiting by the school gates for Arthur and Yao to get to school, he was looking forward to seeing his friends and he hoped that they had a good time last night. It was when Gilbert jumped on his back excitedly when he saw Arthur and Yao walking up the sidewalk, they were walking next to each other and Yao looked like he was talking happily enough with Arthur. He watched as Arthur said something to him and Yao laughed, it made Kiku smile happily at his friend. They finally reached them but Arthur didn't stop he left them all and continued to his classroom and Kiku watched sadly as he left them to be by his self.

"How'd it go?" Gilbert asked loudly.

"Really well actually, I don't really know anything about his home life, but I know it isn't good. It is definitely to do with things at home I think. But he was talking to me, and we had a lot of fun" Yao said while he grinned ecstatically at his friends. They all seemed to release a breath of relief and then continued into college with a little bit of hope brimming in their hearts.

Arthur walked into the lunch time classroom with his head bowed; he looked at the group hesitantly and walked to his usual spot. Saying very quietly as he passed, "Afternoon". They all called back to him happily and Arthur found himself blushing as he sat and took out his book. It was a quiet but pleasant lunch for them all; even if Arthur didn't sit with them he didn't feel lonely at all.

For once in his life Arthur was feeling happy.

~o-O-0-O-o~

"Francis I want to talk to you" Alfred said to his boyfriend who was sitting with one of his school friends.

"Okay mon cher, let's go for a walk" He said with a smouldering smile that made Alfred's heart flutter with emotions. It would take Alfred time to get over Francis, he was the most sweetest when they were together, always attentive to him and always there for him. He just clearly didn't care enough for him, if he needed to cheat on him so nastily.

"Francis, I think" He started; he gulped, trying to swallow away the tears. "I think I made a mistake" He told him.

"What do you mean, Angel?" He asked, Francis clasped Alfred's hand and was slowly stroking it while Alfred's heart beat raced.

"With us, I made a mistake taking-" He stuttered, why did this have to be so hard. "I made a mistake taking you back" He slowly released his hand from Francis soft ones and stepped away from him. Francis looked at him with a frown.

"Non, you can't juz leave me, Mon Cher, I love you" He told him quietly, taking a step forward. The tears slipped down Alfred's face seeing Francis's hurt expression.

"You hurt me Franny, can you promise me you won't go off with someone else?" Alfred asked hesitantly. Francis stopped, his brow furrowed.

"What does that matter?" His face showed the seriousness of his question. This time the tears came harder for Alfred and he was soon sobbing, he started to yell at Francis.

"Don't you realise how inadequate it makes me feel? How jealous I am of whoever you run off with? It isn't right to just go off with other people! It's not fair on me! I want you and only you and don't need anyone else! Why don't you get how much this is hurting me?" Alfred cried out to him, he was crying uncontrollably now, and a few spectators had caught sight of him. A girl stepped out from the crowd and lurched forward slapping Francis across the face.

"You are an idiot Francis; you have a perfect boyfriend here and look what you are doing to him. Get out of here you scum!" She yelled at him, and then stepped to comfort the distraught Alfred. "C'mon Alfie, let's go clean you up" She put an arm around him and dragged him off to the toilets, Alfred didn't mind when they went into the girls bathroom, he just sat down miserably where she placed him.

"Th-thanks Elizaveta" He said hiccupping. She handed him a damp cloth to wipe up his face and rubbed his back to help him calm down.

"That's okay Alfie, he really doesn't deserve you, you know that?" She told him softly, the poor boy was finding it hard to calm his breathing. "Hey I am going to call your dads to come and pick you up, I think it'd be better if you get home" She told him soothingly, he passed her the phone and she stepped outside to make the call. There were a few numbers in his phonebook so she decided to call the mobile, she wasn't sure which one she would get because it said _daddy mobile, _she pressed call and waited for him to pick up.

"Alfred what is it I am busy, and you shouldn't be calling during school time" It was John.

"Hello Mr. Jones, this is Elizaveta, Alfred isn't feeling too good, he broke up with Francis today and he is really quite upset. He says he wants to go home" She told him quickly.

"Oh sorry, umm well I can pick him up in half an hour, tell him to wait at the gates for me" He replied quickly.

"Sure Mr. Jones"

"Thank you Elizaveta, for looking after Alfie for us"

"No problem, he's my friend after all" She said with a smile, even knowing he couldn't see it. She hung up the phone and walked back into the bathroom, Alfred was sitting with his head on his knees, his tears had dried now but he looked ever so sad. Elizaveta smiled a small smile and knelt down next to him. "Your dad will be here soon, he said to meet him at the gate. You want me to wait with you?" She asked carefully. She watched as his eyes filled once more with tears and he nodded slightly, and then weakly stood from the small chair. She led him outside and tried to get him to talk with her while they waited.

He was quiet.

Alfred clambered into the car quickly once it arrived and thanked Elizaveta for her help, she smiled and waved glad to help out her friend. 'Now' she thought to herself. 'I have a Frenchman to beat up'.

Alfred leaned heavily onto John's shoulder and sighed sadly his tears threatening to spill over again. "Life sucks" He said softly.

"Yeah it does Alfie, yeah it does" John replied simply.

~-o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur walked into his house and was greeted by the smell of weed, he coughed and went to open windows, throwing open as many as he could trying to rid the place of the smell. It was disgusting and it made him gag. He tried his hardest to avoid his mother and her boyfriend as he walked upstairs but was met by his mother's boyfriend waiting at the head of the stairs. Arthur stopped and looked at him cautiously, but continued to climb the stairs.

He heard thumping behind him as he closed the door to his bedroom, then the door slammed back open and there he stood, menacing, high and very angry. Arthur gulped and stepped closer to the wall, his 'keep calm and carry on' poster crinkling lightly behind him. "Where were you yesterday you little shit" He growled nastily, stepping closer to Arthur, kicking his too rabbit into the far wall. Arthur watched as it slid to the floor and flumped sadly. His childish imagination flashed and he imagined the poor mint bunny crying.

"My-my friend took me to his house" He stuttered terrified. He knew what was coming and he was trying to brace himself for when this man attacked him in his drug induced haziness. The man barked out a laugh and put a hand above Arthur's head, leaning closer to his face; Arthur could smell his rancid breath and feel his spit hitting him in the face.

"You don't have friends. You ain't leaving this time, you are cooking us food and not leaving till this place is clean" He said violently, Arthur quickly nodded his head. He wasn't finished yet. He violently grabbed Arthur's face and then spat at him Arthur flinched and tried to twist his head away from him. Then he grew angry. Quickly his temperature boiled and spilled over, Arthur taking the brunt of it all. The first fist slammed into his face and Arthur fell backwards into the wall his hand cradling his face. At first he believed it was over, this was normally how it happened.

This time he was wrong. Incredibly wrong.

The man began to bear down on him, pummelling his body and face, attacking any part that Arthur tried to protect, the pain was excruciating. "Mum!" Arthur called pathetically. "Mummy help!" He cried as the tears fell down his face. He knew in his heart she would do nothing that she wouldn't walk up those steps to save her only child; she would sit there and listen to his cries. As she always had. What she did do however solidified her uncaring nature. She stood in the doorway and watched when her Jason finally lost steam he stepped away from Arthur's crumpled form and left the room. His mother stood and watched, then as callously as he had, she threw her cigarette butt at Arthur and slammed the door of his room.

Arthur lay there bleeding and shivering, unable to move, unable to do anything. He no longer had a mobile phone on him so he could call no one, not that he had anyone to call. So he fell asleep lying next to the wall and tried to wish away the frightening nightmares that taunted him, but all night they laughed and jeered at Arthurs weak form.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur wasn't in school the next day and this worried them all, however, a phone call had arrived from Arthur's father telling them of his illness. When Arthur returned to school that Friday they were all horrified. Arthur was limping and his face was black and blue, he held himself carefully and they could see him wincing and seething when he was jostled by the students. When he reached the lunch time class room he looked tired and broken. He looked at Kiku with the saddest expression he had ever seen from him, Arthur limped over to them and laid his head next to Kiku. "I'm having a bad day" He told them weakly. Kiku forced a smile on his face and gently stroked the hair on Arthur's head, trying to soothe him somehow.

"What happened?" Hercules asked softly.

"Just my life I guess, ha I guess I am pretty unlucky" Arthur answered dryly. He sat up and hit Kiku's hand away then reached into his bag for a book. He sat with his friends and read, they talked quietly among themselves and they left Arthur to read by himself. Ludwig had been watching Arthur all the while, and now he was incredibly worried, social services had asked him to keep an eye out for anything about Arthur while they were filing for a visit. Ludwig knew he would have to call them again. He knew he would have to tell them all about the bruises and the limping, he knew Arthur was in trouble and it was about time he got some help.

When they left Ludwig called them again and they told him a visit to Arthur's home would be arranged soon. Hopefully this mess would be sorted and Arthur's home life would improve, and he wouldn't come to school with bruises and looking gaunt and underfed. Ludwig also asked them what they would do if they took him into a care home and soon Ludwig realised the system was similar to what it had been. He would be there till he was sixteen then placed into a half way house, probably somewhere away from here so he may have to change schools. Ludwig felt he didn't like the idea of this and began to discuss options with social services stepped in. What would happen if he indeed needed to be taken into care?

Ludwig soon knew what he had to do and began formulating ideas in his head trying to contact as many people as necessary to make sure he would be able to follow out his plan. He ended up having to call Feli about being late home and then spent most of his time on the phone, soon he knew what he had to do and rushed home to consult Feli, it was only a back up, so he may not even need to put the plan into action. He hoped Arthur would be okay, but this was certainly necessary for if he wasn't.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

"Mother, before you leave can I have your signature on this?" Arthur asked as his mother stood by the doorway. They were finally leaving; going back to Spain where she and Jason were to live once more, Arthur was glad this glitch in his life would soon be over. He could then get back to normality. His mother looked at him, no emotion in her eyes and promptly spat her phlegm onto the floor next to her, she coughed lightly and took the pen from his hand signing it in her messy script. "There you go kid" she said simply walked away to the car waiting for her, Jason walked past whilst shoving him in the shoulder. Arthur watched the car until he couldn't see it any longer and breathed a sigh of relief. Arthur locked the front door and wandered down to the school, it was Saturday but he knew it was open for various groups. All he needed to do was get his wallet.

After Arthur had retrieved his belongings from his locker he wandered into town, there were a lot of things he had to buy. Now that his mother was finally gone he was going to refurnish the house, he needed to get a new bed after his was taken. He needed a computer, and would probably get a laptop for easily mobile purposes, his desk had been smashed up and so were his drawers, so his whole room needed to be furnished. Arthur wandered to the local library and made his way to the computer, firstly he was going to check his emails, and he definitely needed to email Alfred.

When Arthur had first received a picture of the American he was left blushing, how did this boy have such perfect looks? He could be a model. Oh and his eyes, they were the most perfect blue Arthur had ever seen, and that was just from a photo. Which only made him long to see him in person all the more. Arthur found himself smiling slightly as he read the lengthy email from Alfred, how did that git make him smile so easily? He thought wistfully to himself. When Arthur came to Alfred's further question about love he stopped. He was unsure of what he would say to it, he had avoided it last time but Alfred seemed smarter than he talked because he had brought the subject up once more. Arthur then decided to tell him the truth, in as little words as possible.

_My father pays me off because I am his illegitimate child and my mother doesn't care about me. She spends her time away. I have never been in a relationship because who wants to be with someone who is messed up inside of themselves?_

Arthur paused and looked as his response, it was basic, but all of his life seemed to be trapped in those so few words. How that is even possible Arthur couldn't bear to understand, yet those words felt emotionless and cold, which was completely different to how he himself felt about his home life. Why did everything he do and say sound so callous, he had never wanted to be so cold and unapproachable. Arthur was once told he was too nice, too desperate to make friends that it made him weak and vulnerable; he deciphered that that was where his new cold self stemmed from. However, he couldn't change, no matter how hard he tried to be warm and inviting, it just didn't seem to work.

Everybody hated him.

Arthur looked down at the sewn toy he had made for Alfred and smiled, he knew the American would love it, he had decided to go with the idea that most Americans believed in aliens and because Alfred was an avid fan of science and sci-fi he made a small toy alien. It was grey and had large eyes on his oversized head; Arthur smiled a small smile and put it into the brown paper package, in order to take to the post office later. He was glad that Alfred had decided to take his advice and talk to that damned French frog; however, it couldn't stop him being rather worried about him. He sounded so heartbroken about the whole ordeal, and Alfred didn't seem to be the person who was usually sad, that smile on that photo is what should always be on his face and it was unnatural for a guy such as Alfred to be sad.

Arthur then told Alfred about the fact he would be travelling to America in two months, but surely the school would have informed him of this? He was unsure but he hoped he would be staying with Alfred otherwise he feared the two weeks he spent there would be awfully lonely. He sent off his email and then began to order some furniture online as he needed to completely refurbish his bedroom and the three other guest rooms, he decided to make sure they would be delivered on the Saturday. He knew he would probably never really use the guest rooms but he wanted his house to look homely. He also had to completely refurbish the front room, the study and the dining room. He needed a new bed, drawers, a desk, a new mattress, a duvet, quilt covers, pillows and pillow cases. Afterwards he was also going to go down to the local computer store and purchase a computer and a brand new laptop and other various implements, he quite enjoyed buying new technology, but not so much when the reason for this was his mother's pilfering hands.

Once all the furnishings that Arthur could currently think of were ordered he then left the library and walked into town to find the computer store. He picked out a modern laptop and desktop computer and asked it to be delivered to his home later that afternoon, Arthur had been lucky when it came to the documents on his computer. His mother had sold his computer once before and Arthur had lost everything, so he had grown accustomed to backing up all his work once a week. All his coursework and stories were saved onto his memory stick, which was nestled safely in his jeans pocket. He would often look for it in a panic, but it was still safe, he was looking forward to uploading all his work back onto a computer.

After Arthur had purchased the computing essentials he needed he decided he was going to go clothes shopping, after all most of his clothes had been pawned of by his mother and that monster she called a boyfriend. He would also need to buy some more art supplies as he was running low after a lot of it had been destroyed, he had grown accustomed to the art supplies he had, used pallets with various colours and mixes, ones in which he liked to use as references. Certain paint brushes that he had grown used to holding, ones that he knew exactly how to hold and the way it flicked altered when applied to paper. He sighed heavily at the thought of getting new equipment, but it wasn't so daunting. So much money was going to be spent today, Arthur thought with another resigned sigh.

He bought a lot of clothes, and some holiday suitcases for when he would go away, in the end he phoned for a taxi, after of course, purchasing a new phone and when he finally arrived home he sat on the hard chair in his kitchen with a look of despondency. It had been a long day and he was exhausted, he walked to his room and left all his new clothes in their bags and placed them neatly on the floor. The rest of his furniture wasn't arriving until next Saturday so he would have to wait for a while before everything was refurbished. Arthur sighed to himself and realised now he would have to clean out the entire house. Now his mother has gone he wanted to decontaminate the house of their disgusting stale smell.

He started with the hallway cleaning the muddied linoleum and stacking his shoes neatly by the side, he used to have a shoe store but they had obviously gotten to that too. Arthur would have to order a new one, he cleaned the floor and made sure his coats were neatly hung on the coat rack that was thankfully firmly attached to the wall. Moving through to the entrance way he glared angrily at the mess, it was definitely going to be a long day. Arthur had finished everything in town by two o'clock and it was nearly five o'clock in the afternoon when he finally finished the bottom floor of the house. He looked around with wide eyes at the new cleanliness that he had accomplished; the front room was the worst. It stunk of alcohol, sick and sweat but mostly the smell of smoke and weed hung stagnant in the room around him and it took him a long time before he finally rid the room of the smell. The fire place had been a state, cigarette buds thrown carelessly at its lifeless state and left there to rot, Arthur diligently picked them all up and threw them into the large binbag at his side.

He recycled all the beer cans and bottles and when he finally cleaned out the empty living room he felt himself breathe easier. The living room had been completely pilfered of its belongings, the sofa and the cabinets were destroyed or sold and they had sold on the television and all of Arthur's movies and his extensive Doctor Who collection. It hurt him to think about it now; he had purchased a whole new set and was looking forward to curling on his new settee and watching them all over again. Arthur looked down at his new phone and decided it was time to call his father; he had to tell his father his new number and tell him why he had been unable to talk with him. His father never really called but Arthur wouldn't have known if he had because of his lack of a phone. He dialled the well known number and listened to the silent ringing in his ear.

"Hello, Adam Kirkland speaking" His father's voice echoed on the small device.

"Father it's Arthur" He said politely.

"Where have you been, I have been unable to contact you?" He asked quickly, his voice had become quieter and more hushed, he figured it was because he was at home.

"Mother has been home, she sold almost everything and told me she wasn't going to return anymore" He told him carefully.

"Well that's good, I'll put some extra money in your account for furniture, and she didn't get hold of your money did she?" His voice rose slightly in pre-meditated anger.

"No Father she didn't. Thank you for your help, I was just phoning to make sure you got my new number in case you wanted to contact me"

"You are a good boy Arthur, not like my sons" Arthur heard him tut at the end of his sentence and then continued. "I want to set up our dinner next week, we can have it on the Saturday if you like" He told him as his voice quietened down once more.

"All the new furnishings will be arriving then, maybe on the Sunday, I could cook you dinner" He told his father uneasily, he really didn't feel like going to one of those high class restaurants again.

"That sounds fine Arthur, I will see you then. Goodbye" And with those last words he hung up. Arthur sagged where he was and kneaded his temple wearily. He still had so much to clean and organise, the first floor was still filthy and he couldn't bear to think about the state of his mother's room. He knew she had cleaned out the rooms and sold everything but they had been sleeping on a mattress in the large room, Arthur knew it would be worse than the front room. So instead he focussed on cleaning every other room first, most of which were fine bar the rubble and rubbish they had left behind. He swept and mopped throughout the house and hovered where there was carpet, once the second floor was done Arthur was exhausted and fell asleep on his mattress while looking at his newly delivered laptop.

It had arrived a little after five with his desktop computer, he had left the desktop where it was and decided to only look at the laptop for now. It was a good piece of machinery and Arthur was pleased, he fell asleep trying to finish off some of his coursework and checking facebook.

Alfred F. Jones went from "in a relationship" to "single".

Arthur had clicked the like button long ago and in his sleep had failed to notice the chat box ping with a message from Alfred himself. Arthur's mind drifted endlessly through his dream like state, finally his whole mind was encased within his mind, trapping him there until he naturally awoke from his slumber. Images and pictures began to form in his mind's eye, and Arthur watched them diligently, listening to the sounds of his dream.

"_You should know that you are nothing" The nasty voice began, cutting into the images of faeries and his beloved childhood friend, the mint green bunny. His friend flew to dream Arthur's side and landed lightly on his shoulder, looking at him softly, his eyes enquiring. Arthur looked back into those oh so innocent eyes and felt sad, this poor mint bunny was merely a representation of his younger self, innocent, naïve and completely trusting in the adults he was left with. The voice cut through this silent moment between them again._

"_It is a long time since you were like him, he is far away now. You are nothing" It muttered darkly, taking no form of itself, all it was was an eerie voice. One that spoke to him in every waking moment of his life, telling him constantly he was nothing because this voice was Arthur himself, the voice that spoke truths. "You may as well be dead" It told dream Arthur with an edge in his voice._

"_I think I have friends" Arthur replied, and his mind flashed images of Kiku and Yao and the others at him. Lastly that one picture he had of Alfred shimmered in front of him, it was bright and took away some of the darkness that crept around him. Dream Arthur reached a hand towards the shimmering image of Alfred and he smiled a genuine smile that made both corners of his mouth slide upwards, a smile that reached his eyes._

"_You can't have friends, no one could possibly love someone like you" The voice broke in and the image of Alfred shattered in front of his eyes as dream Arthur accepted the truth of those words._

"_I guess you are right, I am rather dull and boring" Dream Arthur said waveringly. "I just wish that it wasn't true"_

"_Yes but dear Arthur it is, we will be alone forever" Arthur could feel the arms of the darkness reach for him, and the cold stinging wisps of blackness wrapped around his body, encasing him in an aching loneliness. There was nothing he could do to shake it off, but that's when he saw it again. That small boy of long ago._

_He was looking at him with big green eyes, ones that held promise and hope. A feeling that had long since died within Arthur himself, the boy reached a small hand towards him, his light and hope stretching to touch the dark tendrils of the encased dream Arthur. Arthur couldn't move but he longed to grasp that boys hand, longed to feel hope in his heart once more, longed to return to that blissful ignorance where he knew nothing better. The light and dark began to fight a battle Arthur knew would be endless, the light trying to rid his thoughts of the darkness, always telling Arthur that he meant something, to certain people Arthur's well-being meant a great deal. But with those reassuring words came the callous replies of his meaningless existence._

_A never ending battle that was fought within his head._

_Arthur fell further into the blackness and eventually he was free falling through an emptiness, causing him to quake in fear._

_Nothingness is all you are_

_Another lonely distant star_

_Lifeless useless like thick oozing tar_

_Trapped listless in an empty jar_

_The words echoed around his falling form, nothing, lonely, useless and listless whirling around in his hurting mind. Trapped, trapped, trapped._

_No escape from the blackness, he can't get out, Arthur's form began to writhe and scream, yelling out to nothing for help, reaching for a hand that never came. Just one hand to hold him up, that's all he needs, one hand to hold his heart and to stop him from falling, one hand from one small person and Arthur could be happy._

_He plummeted._

_Falling at an incredible speed with no hope of stopping and no one to aid him in his plight._

"Mother!" Arthur screamed as he jolted forward, his hand reaching ahead of himself as if trying to prevent her from leaving. But she was already gone. Arthur was breathing heavily as though he had been running, the sweat weeping from his temple and his legs had become twisted in his duvet cover and he fought to be free from them. Pushing the sopping blanket from his person, and flopping heavily onto the bed. Why did he have to wake even wearier than before? He asked himself silently. He closed his laptop which lay next to him and got up to get a glass of water, trying to calm his racing heart, and sat back down on his lowly mattress. Soon Arthur drifted once more into an uneasy sleep, this time however his mind let him rest and he didn't dream at all.

~o-O-0-O-o~

"Huh, he never replied" Alfred said softly, he had waited for a while to talk to the Brit but he didn't get a response. He supposed it was because it was later over there, he might have fallen asleep, and this made Alfred smile, thinking of the cute Brit sleeping softly while his computer hummed on top of him. Alfred chuckled and shut down his own computer, it wasn't that late yet so he wasn't particularly tired, besides dinner hadn't even been served yet and his 'uncles' would be here again. It wasn't Wednesday but they had all decided to have a movie night together. Alfred was looking forward to it but he was still feeling odd about having left Francis yesterday during school. His father had held him as he cried that evening and listened to his stories about how amazing Francis was and how stupid he was. He held him as he wept away all the pain; it embarrassed Alfred when he thinks back on it. About how his nose became runny and his face looked a mess but he found crying helped a little in easing his troubles.

It couldn't take away the pain but it helped to ease away the pent up stress in his heart. He knew it would take time to get over the first boy he had ever loved he just longed for that time to hurry up so he could live without feeling so completely helpless. He was coping with it though and slowly he could feel himself getting better, with his family right next to him and with friends like Elizaveta he would be okay, he smiled once more thinking of Arthur.

"Alfred dinner!" John called from the staircase.

"Coming!" He shouted back, he looked back at his facebook with still no response from Arthur but closed it anyway and flew himself through his bedroom door and thundered down the stairs. He could smell his dad's cooking from the steps and hummed in delight, his dad was a good cook, his daddy, John, however was not so good. He could make various things but mostly sweets like cakes and cookies; otherwise he was useless in the kitchen. Alfred was glad that food was ready because quite quickly he realised he was positively starving, he ran into the kitchen but was stopped by Lovino.

"Slow down idiot" He said rolling his eyes at him.

"Aww c'mon Lovi, I am hungry let me in" Alfred whined as he tried to move his adoptive uncle out of the way. He was however quite muscular so Alfred couldn't budge him.

"C'mon Alfie, you are surely not that weak are you?" Lovi asked teasingly.

"Lovi, you are so mean" Toni called from the kitchen.

"Aww when is the last time me and Alfie messed around?" Lovi called back.

"A long time ago because you're getting weak old man" Alfred said and shoved Lovi harder causing him to stumble in surprise. Alfred grinned and stuck out his tongue jumping forward and grabbing his plate of food before Lovi could attack him further.

"I'll get you yet kid" Lovi said with a grin. Alfred gulped he knew that look, he wandered quickly into the dining room and sat next to John scooting close to him.

"Daddy, Uncle Lovi is being totally mean to me" He complained.

"Alfie, I have no idea what you are talking about" John said with a laugh, he had heard their conversation and he himself wasn't fond of the 'old man' comment.

"Aw c'mon daddy you have to be on my side, you love me the most" He said pleadingly.

"Ha! Poor deluded Alfred" Lovi said as he sat opposite him.

"So Alfred" Toni began, he was trying to redirect the conversation. "How have you been feeling?" The mood mellowed out somewhat after that question and Alfred found himself looking at his plate while leaning heavily on his hand with his elbow on the table. Lovi glared at Toni for asking such a stupid question at this time.

"Okay I guess" Alfred finally responded. Toni smiled a large smile and looked at Alfred with happy eyes; Alfred felt his mouth twitch on seeing that contagious smile.

"That's good at least you're not crying this time" Toni added. Alfred's face turned a bright shade of red and he ducked his head out of sight.

"God shut up Toni, you are so embarrassing" Alfred said quietly, he proceeded to shovel the food in his mouth to try and ease away the humiliation. Derrick laughed from the head of the table and high fived Toni who just looked on surprised and oblivious as ever.

"You do such a good job at that Toni, much better than us" He commented.

"Will you guys just shut up about it alright?" Alfred said testily. His temper was fraying. Alfred had found that his mood easily moulded and changed, as quickly as the wind it would go from content to angry to sad to mellow. He didn't want to end up getting angry in front of the uncles he liked so much; it was embarrassing enough that he had cried in front of them all.

'**Hero's aren't supposed to be so weak**.' His mind thought softly.

"Alright Alfie, let's just eat and then we can watch a film alright?" Toni said whilst still smiling. Alfred smiled back at him and nodded. Their dinner was mostly just quiet conversation, about work and school and how the adoption process was going for Lovi and Toni; soon they would be getting a child, quite soon in fact. Everything had been finalised and they were able to see children soon. They had decided not to surrogate and just adopt a young child or baby instead. After dinner they wandered into the sitting room and began to watch a film, it wasn't a scary one this time just some sappy romance.

Alfred sat mostly in silence but found that the more these two stupid lovebirds fell in love the more agitated he became. When they came to the final scene and they were about to make up and have a loving embrace Alfred stood and shut off the television, much to the dismay and annoyance of his fathers and uncles. "It was a stupid film" Alfred said angrily and stormed from the room. John sighed and turned the set back on so they could watch the ending. They knew well enough to leave Alfred well alone when he was having a teenage tantrum.

After the film was over Derrick, John, Lovi and Toni sat and talked about anything and everything, trying to catch up with their best friends. It was a pleasant evening and they were glad they got to catch up, even if they did see each other every Wednesday and at other special occasions. "Alfred come downstairs and say goodbye" Derrick called.

"No!" Was the yelled response from the bratty teenager.

"Yay, don't be rude Alfie, you want me to come up there and get your lazy ass!" Lovi shouted from the stairs.

"Shut up!" Was another yelled response. It was grating on Lovi's tender nerves, his temper was being tested enough as it is, this was just annoying.

"Alfred, c'mon honey. It won't take five minutes" Alfred's only response to John's gentle coaxing was the music being blasted from his computer and turned up loud.

"Right, I am going to get him. He ain't being rude to me" Lovi said with an edge to his voice.

"Just be careful Lovi, he is upset as it is" Toni said with a frown.

"That is no excuse to being rude" John told him, he was rather annoyed at his sons behaviour as well. "Just bring him down as quietly as possible" John said and he sat on the stairs to wait. Derrick massaged his tense shoulders and Lovi thundered up the stairs. They all listened to the loud crack of the door being slammed open and then the music was abruptly cut off.

"Fuck off Lovi!" Alfred shouted.

They all heard it and it made John tense even more. "Did he just swear?" He said in shock, "and at Lovi no less"

"Wow Alfred has never been that angry" Derrick added as his brows furrowed. "Especially not to one of us" he added and then glanced up the stairs.

"Lovi just let me go, you are so mean. Why are you guys all so friggin strong?" Alfred was yelling, and he received a barking laugh in response.

"Not so old now am I?" Lovi said gruffly, they all then heard him thumping down the stairs.

"Geez just let me go you idiot!" Alfred yelled louder.

"I will not. You have to come and say goodbye to your dear uncle Toni or he'll be sad" Lovi said the edge in his voice softened slightly.

"Ugh fine" Alfred said, knowing that he couldn't ever be mean to Toni. He was too sweet and caring to be mean too. Alfred and Lovi appeared at the foot of the stairs, Alfred had been thrown over Lovi's shoulder, he set him down on his feet and Alfred scowled at him. Soon however he turned his attention to Toni and ran quickly into his arms and hugged him tightly. "Bye Uncle Toni, I am sorry for the fuss" He said softly. Antonio just laughed and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"That's alright my little tomato, we'll see you soon yes?" He asked quietly.

"Sure whatever" Alfred responded and let go of his uncle; he quickly hugged his uncle Lovi who blushed crimson and then patted his head lightly. Alfred waved them out of the door and then padded to the front room with his fathers, he lightly lay his head in Derricks lap as they watched a boring documentary. None of them spoke about Alfred's anger from earlier, hoping that for now it had passed.

A foreign angry bubble was building up inside of Alfred and he was unsure of what to do with it.

I do apologise profusely for not updating this sooner, i have recently gone back to university and it has been keeping me busy, i will make sure the next update is much sooner.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10

'This is so bad, so very bad I am going to be in so much trouble, man my dad's will kill me' were the thoughts that ran through Alfred's head as he washed in the dark brown hair dye, making sure there was none of that innocent naïve blonde hair left. Alfred smiled to himself in the mirror and chuckled slightly, making sure the black dye was thoroughly coating his light hair. He didn't know what to do with this pent up anger rolling inside him, he just needed to do something, and this was the first thing that came to mind. Dying his hair, after he was done and he washed out the remnants he looked at his hair in the mirror.

'It's not enough' was the lone thought that ran through his mind, he needed to do more, and he needed to be more reckless. Alfred was filled with a mountain of pent up frustrations and couldn't seem to let them loose fast enough. He dried his hair and gelled it so it looked unruly and different. Alfred smiled and ran to his room to grab the leather jacket his cousins had given to him a while ago but he never really wore. He preferred his brown one with the number fifty on the back, but it was a nice change to have this tight fitting black leather coat on him. He smirked and ran from the house, not even bothering to check if the door was locked.

His father's returned to an empty, wide open house and were incredibly annoyed with Alfred, why did he leave the house in such a way? John had found the hair dye in the bathroom and had run to Derrick fuming at the sight of it. "He dyed his hair?!" He exclaimed to his husband.

"Looks like it" Derrick said simply.

"I am going to kill that boy, he is going to be in so much trouble!" John said beginning his rant.

"Calm down, boys always go through this kind of stuff. He'll be alright once he gets it out of his system" Derrick said trying to soothe him.

"He is nearly sixteen, I thought he was passed all of this stuff, he shouldn't be doing such stupid things" John continued angrily. They were then interrupted by a knock at the door, they both looked at each other curiously. John got to the door and was faced with two police officers and a guilty looking Alfred.

"This your boy?" They asked gruffly.

"Ye-yes, Alfred is my son" John said carefully, he had already began to glare at Alfred who cowered between them.

"He was vandalising the park, graffiti and that. We gave him a warning, we don't want him to do something like this again, and otherwise the punishment is going to be worse" He said roughly and pushed Alfred towards the house, Alfred pulled his shoes off quickly whilst John spoke to the police officers and he slipped past him, trying his hardest to creep up the stairs to his room. He heard the door slam and ran towards the stairs only to be stopped by Derrick glaring at him, he crossed his arms and glared off to the side.

"Alfred!" John shouted from the doorway. Alfred rolled his eyes and scoffed at his father's tone of voice which meant he got a short sharp slap to the head from Derrick who was still stood silently above him.

"Ow what was that for!" He said indignantly, rubbing the back of his head.

"You know damn well what it was for. Living room now" Derrick demanded. Alfred stomped away angrily yelling curses at both his father's as he went. "You want another one Alfred?" Alfred shut up.

John had finally stomped in from the hallway and burst into the front room glaring down at Alfred sitting meekly on the sofa with his dyed black hair. "I can NOT believe what you have done Alfred! You are in so much trouble!" He began, Alfred shrunk further into the sofa as John ranted at him while Derrick stood in the doorway glaring. "You are grounded for a month and you are not having that stupid console for the next month either" Alfred's head shot up.

"No fair!" He whined at him.

"Fair? You want to know what is fair? I don't want to have my evening interrupted by policemen banging at my door, or the mess you left in the bathroom from your stupid hair dye. I will have you know I am cutting you hair short so I don't have to look at the obscenity you have defiled this house with! Get to bed now and out of my sight! I don't want to see you for the rest of the night!" John screamed at him, and Alfred quickly fled the room brushing past Derrick and then shouting from the stairs.

"I hate you!" They heard his sobs break out as he ran into his room. They heard him throw some of things around in frustration and scream but eventually he simmered down and he must have flopped onto his bed. John sat down and let his head fall into his hands; he heaved a frustrated sigh and looked up at Derrick softly. He took it as a look if invitation and say next to John wrapping an arm around his shoulders then pulling him into a tight hug.

"He'll be alright. I was getting worried that Alfie was too good" Derrick said with a small laugh.

"Maybe you're right, maybe it is just a phase" John said wearily, leaning heavily against Derrick for support. "Can you go up and take his console away, I don't want to end up yelling again" He said quietly. Derrick smiled and kissed his head softly.

"Sure babe, I can do that for you" He let go of John who sagged into the sofa; he turned on the television and handed him the remote then wrapped him in a blanket. Derrick smiled and left him to flick through the channels and try and calm himself down, he wandered out of the front room and up to Alfred's room. He knocked quietly waiting for a response.

"GO AWAY!" He had screamed at the door and Derrick distinctly heard something being thrown at the wooden frame. Derrick rolled his eyes and stepped into the room anyway.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that" Derrick said calmly. If there was something that was different in the way his father's disciplined it was definitely that Alfred feared Derrick far greater than John. Yes John would yell and scream and threaten but nothing usually came of it, and Alfred could hold his own in a screaming match. But Derrick's silent and calm nature always freaked him out, he wouldn't get angry in the way John did, and Alfred was always unaware of what to do.

His father had always been the one that stopped him from yelling, made him stop his tantrums when he was a young boy, always the one who he feared if the school threatened to call. There was no doubt that he loved his father but sometimes he could be downright scary. Alfred swallowed and sat up in his bed, moving over to the corner of his bed so he was pressed up against the corner of the wall, afraid he would get another smack if he misbehaved again. Derrick moved silently into his room and began to unplug the console and Alfred felt himself tearing up slightly.

"You've already grounded me how is that fair" Alfred said weakly. He knew if he wasn't careful he would end up crying, he knew it was a stupid thing to cry over but it was frustrating. His whole life seemed to be one big pile of mess.

"Because Alfred, this is the consequences for you misbehaving. I do not expect this from you at this age, you're not a child anymore. I am incredibly disappointed in you" He said sadly, and it made Alfred feel even worse. He sunk even lower into his bed and trying to make himself as small as he felt. "It is just you and Daddy tomorrow for breakfast, I _expect _you to apologise for you behaviour" He said and with that he walked from the room. Alfred felt his breathing quicken and he got up from the bed so he could try and burn off the adrenaline running through his body, he screamed in frustration and smacked his hand into the nearby wall.

He was so angry at the world right now and he just felt like he needed to run, run and run until all of this energy was burnt off. A nasty thought slipped into his head, 'that will certainly make them worry'. He picked up his jacket again and pulled it on zipping it up to his navel and glancing around for his bag. He found it quickly and stuffed it full of some clothes and his mobile phone, then shoved a few of the biscuits and snacks he had in his room, the ran to the bathroom to fill up his bottle of water. He stopped by his computer and looked at the open facebook page, quickly entering a small message onto his wall.

_Alfred F. Jones says I'm outta here. _

He paced over to his CD player and turned the music on, not so loud as to annoy his father's further but enough to make them believe he was in, he put the CD on repeat and then grabbed loads of spare pillows and clothes, shoving them under his covers, moulding them so they looked realistic. Then he walked to his window and looked out at his back garden, calculating how he would get out. He knew that the dining room window was below his but it was late already so they would most likely be in the front room by now. He prised the window open carefully knowing there was a squeaking in the old thing, and then he threw his bag into a nearby bush where it made a soft thud. The adrenaline began to kick in and Alfred found himself laughing silently to himself, this was exhilarating, he had never done anything like this before. He now had two options; he could either climb down the drain pipe that led all the way to the floor, or he could clamber delicately onto the awning and then swing onto the floor below.

Alfred went with the awning, at least it looked like it could hold his weight, and he gently lowered himself down his hands shaking with adrenaline and nerves. He fell onto his behind and slid down the incline until he reached the end, it was solid enough and holding his weight effectively, he peeked over the edge and saw a deserted front room so quickly clambered over and hit the floor with a little bit too loud thud. He paused slightly but no one seemed to have heard it so he swiftly ran to his bag and hopped over the fence to the field behind his house. He was out of breath not due to exertion but merely the adrenaline rush that coursed through him, the fear of being caught, the possibility that he could have fallen from his window. It was all so much for him and he found himself laughing breathlessly.

He looked back at his house and then looked forward across the small playing field towards the other end of the block; he knew that they could see into this field. He also knew the Lovi and Toni could from their house too, there was nothing for it, and he was going to make a run for it. Alfred let his hand touch the fence and in his head began the count down for a race, just imagining he was running against opponents standing next to him. "On your marks, get ready, go!" He spoke loudly to himself and then he tore off across the field with a big grin on his face, laughing slightly as he jumped over a large puddle, the run didn't take that long and when he reached the gate he just hurdled over it and continued to run, it was much easier running across the solid sidewalk, he moved and swerved out if the way of two bikers and continued running through the town.

Finally the lights of the town faded out and the darkness of the oncoming night set in, Alfred gulped nervously but shook his head and continued his steadfast stride away from his home. He had now slowed to a walk and was feeling tired, he had made it to the highway where he planned to try and hitch hike further away from his town, there weren't a lot of car's drifting past but eventually one slowed down to a halt for him. He smiled at the lad in the car and thanked her for stopping. "So where ya headed?" She asked grinning at him.

"I dunno, towards New York I was hoping" He told her quietly and it made her smile as she drifted back onto the highway her speed increasing steadily.

"Well ya'll are just in luck, cause that's where ahm headed" She said, her accent coming through stronger to Alfred, he smiled in gratitude and relaxed further into the seat. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled 911 just in case he needed to call them in a hurry, keeping the phone pressed close to him.

Derrick drifted upstairs to join John in bed, he could still hear the music Alfred had put on a while ago and walked into his room quietly, the light was out and the window was wide open. Derrick rolled his eyes and closed the window tightly then shut of the music, glancing at Alfred's still form as he left the room. Moody teenagers sucked but he was glad that they liked their sleep.

With Derrick being gone very early this morning John was not looking forward to having to wake Alfred with the mood he has been in lately. He didn't have to worry at first though because he didn't seem to get up when his first alarm went off, John was glad in a way the boy would be snarky with him all morning. When it was nearing the end of breakfast though and there was still no sign of Alfred John grew impatient, he would be late for school at this rate. "Alfred, get up!" He yelled up the stairs.

No response.

John sighed and walked begrudgingly up the stairs to his room, striding in confidently. "You have to get ready for school now Alfred, I won't tell you again" He pulled open the curtains swiftly letting in the light but still not response. He pressed the fingers to his nose and walked to the bed and throwing the covers off. "Get up Al-" His words were cut short by the fact that all that was under the bed was a bunch of pillows and scrunched up clothes. "Alfred?" John asked numbly. He looked in his cupboard and under his bed, finding his mobile phone gone and some of the clothes from his draws; he couldn't find his bag anywhere either. "Ha ha Alfred this isn't funny" John called out hollowly into the large empty house. John ran through the entire house throwing clothes and belongings out of the way in the hopes that Alfred was hiding stubbornly and finding him nowhere. He ran into the garden and that's when he noticed the dent on the awning underneath Alfred's window.

'Did he run away?' John thought frantically. His eyes burned a little as he ran into the house grabbing his keys, he fled to the school and asked around if he and gotten in but he was nowhere to be found. John stood at the receptionist's desk and let out a broken sob, letting his hand clasp tightly over his mouth. "It's alright Mr. Jones I am calling the police now, maybe you should call your husband?" The receptionist said worriedly, her hands were shaking slightly as she rang the police. John was led into a sitting area and he shakily took the phone from his pocket quickly finding Derricks number.

"Hey Sweetheart, good morning with grumpy pants?" He asked laughing a little, and John found himself breaking down. He burst into floods of tears as he tried to relay what happened. One of the teachers took the phone from him and spoke calmly to Derrick on the other line, advising him to stay at work while they scour around town. Derrick refused immediately though and left the building before they could tell him otherwise. It was just under an hour when Derrick stormed into the waiting room and ran to John, who was weakly shaking in his seat, holding a tissue close to his chest, he threw his arms around Derrick the moment he saw him.

"It's alright babe will find the little punk. I am going to kill him when he gets back" Derrick soothed trying to ease his husband's troubles, softly rubbing his back comfortingly.

"We have informed the authorities already and they said because he is a runaway they can't start looking for him for another twelve hours. I am afraid that they have to hope he will come home by himself first" This information made John break down into further tears and Derrick clung to him fearfully. 'Where could Alfred have gone?' Was the same thought that stretched through all their minds, Derrick stood weakly dragging a weeping John with him and thanked the school for their help and asked if they could ask any of the children to keep an eye out. They nodded wanting to do anything they could to help, they left the building and headed straight to Toni's and Lovi's house, John couldn't seem to stop crying no matter how much Derrick soothed him. He was working himself into hysterics and by the time they reached Lovi and Toni's house he had to rush out of the car to be sick.

"C'mon it is no use you crying like this" Derrick soothed, he saw Lovi come out of the door and look at him questioningly, Derrick shook his head to try and tell him to wait.

"It-its all-all my-my-my fa-fault!" John screeched, coughing and hacking again into the grass, he had never seen John cry so badly before. Antonio walked over to him and rubbed his back softly, gesturing for him to talk to Lovi while Toni tried to calm John down. They talked in hurried whispers and making Lovino go quickly distressed and he ran into the house to grab his car keys.

"Antonio come here" Derrick returned to Johns side, his breathing having calmed down a bit, although still shaky, but his tears seemed to have ceased.

"You're alright honey; Lovi and Toni are going to take you home alright? Toni will stay with you there okay?"

"No, no I have to look f-for Alfie. I have to find my baby" He whined as the tears started up again, Derrick sighed sadly, the tears pricking at his eyes too. He had to be strong for both of them.

"You can't go anywhere in that state, look someone needs to be there in case he comes home, alright?" Derrick said kissing his forehead softly.

"F-fine" He responded weakly. Toni had returned his face pale now he knew why John was so upset, he put his arms around him delicately and led him to the car. Lovi sitting at the wheel with an angry scowl on his face he quickly pulled out of the drive and headed back to John and Derricks home. Derrick watched them leave then clambered into his own car preparing to look around the small town first.

"For fuck sakes Alfred where are you?"

"Antonio am I really that terrible a father?" John asked croakily, he seemed to be losing his voice, having spent most of the day crying on Toni's shoulder. Now though he could only cry dry tears, merely resting his heavy head on Toni's shoulder, feeling completely unable to do anything. Toni sat there patiently the news on continuously to see if there was any signs of Alfred, however, he also hoped there wouldn't be anything. He didn't want his best friend's only son, whom they were completely besotted with, to be lost to them.

"I don't know how you could think such a thing. I know this is terrible but Alfred is going through a rough time, he is probably completely heartbroken with Francis going out with a new guy and this is his way of acting out" He told him easily.

"F-Francis is with someone new?" He asked weakly.

"Yes Alfred told me" He said quietly. It only made matters worse and he began to dry sob again.

"He didn't even tell me that, I hate that bastard Francis, all he ever does is hurt my poor boy. And now look!" He exclaimed, Toni sighed sadly and let him continue to cry out his frustrations. It was late into the evening when the police finally came around; they questioned both John and Derrick, who had returned empty handed with no leads at all, and Toni and Lovi too. They had told them about the fight and the police informed them that they would be asking around everywhere and begin searching, they were going to bring the dogs around to see if they could find him as well.

It all got frantic very quickly, even though John was forced to stay in the house with Lovino, because Antonio wanted a turn at trying to look for Alfred himself. The dogs caught the scent and were led across the field through town and onto the highway where it was lost on them; Derrick gulped with fear at the prospect of Alfred hitchhiking. John sat at home calling Alfred's cell phone over and over only to get his voicemail after many long rings, it felt good just to hear Alfred's voice on the line. Derrick's sister had called after it had been posted on facebook that Alfred was missing and had told them she was on her way down with Mattie immediately; she wanted to do anything to help. She wouldn't be here until tomorrow afternoon however, due to the flight from Canada, she was just as worried as everyone else.

By the time night fell there was no sign of anyone finding Alfred, Derrick was still out searching as was Antonio but John sat by the window watching the driveway for any sign of his little boy. It was around three in the morning when his phone buzzed quietly, he leapt for the phone and saw Alfred's name on the caller I.D. he answered it quickly. "Alfred! Where are you!" He shouted, he didn't mean to sound angry, he was far from angry anymore. He just wanted his boy back; he wanted him to come home so they could be a family again.

The buzz of the phone going dead was all that greeted him.

John let out an animalistic scream of fury and threw the phone away from him, smashing into the window his heart jolted and he ran to his broken phone. Lovi had walked in at the noise and looked to see John weeping as he tried to piece together his phone. "John its broken, c'mon leave it alone"

"No I have to fix it, what if Alfie calls again?" He said weakly, the phone wouldn't be able to be fixed Lovi could tell that much, but they could move the sim card around.

"Come here Johnny" Lovi said affectionately, pulling him from his knees and pushing him onto the sofa. John had become numb. "I will find an old phone to put the sim in, then we will still be able to have a phone in case he calls" Lovi said softly, John merely nodded his eyes were unfocussed and glazed over. Lovi found a new cell and left it next to John's hand, and then he picked up the house phone to call Derrick.

~o-O-0-O-o~

Arthur woke with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, he hadn't slept particularly well but it was better than most nights. He eased into his new jeans and a clean t-shirt and stiffly made his way down stairs to cook his breakfast; it was going to be another boring Sunday. That is what he continued to think until he heard a quiet knocking at his door; he walked carefully to the door and looked through the peep hole. There stood nervously was Kiku Honda, Yao, Hercules and Gilbert, although the latter certainly wasn't nervous, he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. Arthur opened the door warily and all four faces smiled at him, Arthur scowled at them and then stiffly asked them. "What do you want?"

"We came to see if you would like to watch some films at Kiku's house, we have to hurry 'cause his dad is waiting though" Yao said with a smile, Arthur looked at them suspiciously.

"C'mon dude it'll be totally awesome with me there!" Gilbert exclaimed wildly making Arthur roll his eyes at him. He looked back into his house warily and decided being with them was better than being alone with his own thoughts.

"Fine" He said with a huff, as though the very task was like a chore. Yao and Hercules gave lazy smiles whilst Kiku positively beamed at him. "Let me just grab my coat" Arthur shut the door on them then grabbed his keys and coat, making sure everything was shut off before he left the house. He locked the door discreetly behind him and fallowed the others to the car; Kiku's father looked at him warily clearly observing the bruises on his face but chose to simply smile instead. The drive was mostly quiet bar Gilbert's amusing rants about himself and the 'awesome'# things he does, it wasn't long before they pulled into the drive.

They clambered out easily and walked straight into the house and Kiku led them up to his bedroom, the curtains had been drawn and the lights dimmed, Arthur found himself smiling at the familiarity of this room. They all found themselves somewhere to sit, Arthur sitting o the edge of the bed trying to distance himself from them that was until Gilbert slung an arm around his waist and pulled him closer to the group. He grinned at Arthur's flushed face, "C'mon you can sit by the awesome me"

Arthur nodded hesitantly and leaned against the wall next to Gilbert, who pulled popcorn out from somewhere and placed it shared on his and Arthur's lap. Arthur picked nervously at the food whilst Kiku put the film on, soon everyone seemed to let out a unified breath of relaxation and were talking to each other quietly whilst waiting for the film to start. "Man didn't you hate that test we were given Friday, it sucked so much, i totally failed it! Gilbert said to the group.

"I know what you mean, it was definitively a surprise, not even a chance to revise or anything" Hercules agreed quietly.

"It wasn't too bad I guess, just hated doing it. Exams are way too much pressure" Yao added. "What did you think of it Arthur?" Yao asked him with a smile.

"It went well, I have studied most of the material before" He told them quietly.

"Man you study way to much dude!" Gilbert exclaimed, dislodging some of the popcorn on top of them, he picked most of it and shoved it into his waiting mouth.

"That is what is expected of me, I guess I have too" Arthur said quietly.

"Expected? Do your parents want you to get good grades?" Kiku asked softly. Arthur nodded in reply.

"I wish my parents were strict, at least then I might actually study when I am supposed to" Gilbert said whilst stretching. "Ohh its starting shut up everyone" He exclaimed louder than everyone had been talking. They watch the movie in relative silence, except when Gilbert asked obnoxiously loud questions, making everyone shush him, and then he would complain about them being too noisy, and the cycle would repeat itself over and over again. They missed a fair portion of the film due to this but they found they didn't mind because they all had fun together, even Arthur, even though he wouldn't care to admit it. Eventually the credits rolled on and everyone found themselves stretching their stiff necks and aching backs, Arthur stood and flicked the light on, trying to gain feeling back in his legs. Hercules then tried to stand too only to fall over because of the pins and needles making feet numb and near impossible to walk on.

They smiled at each other in the newly lit room and then slowly talked of other things, schools parties and such, all of them clearly avoiding hard hitting questions that would upset Arthur. For once they just wanted to focus on being a friend to him, doing things friends do together, rather than trying to help him out of a bad situation. They knew the routine would most likely remain the same when they returned to school on Monday but at least for now there was an air of calm in the room.

Eventually they got bored and drifted down stairs where they were waiting to be picked up by there parents, it was at this point that Arthur excused himself and readied himself to walk home. The cold evening air hit him stiffly and he pulled up his coat further around his face, he could feel the bitterly cold of winter setting in, December was going to be rough this year. Arthur walked home at a brisk pace and found no matter what he didn't feel lonely, not even in the darkest of alleys or when he as greeted by an empty house and a barely furnished bedroom, the feeling of loneliness never caught him. He was glad; he settled down onto the computer and checked to see if he had any emails.

_Alfred F. Jones says I'm outta here._

That's odd. Arthur thought quietly, many people had liked the status and a few had laughed and said they were too, but to Arthur, it wasn't a funny status. In fact it was bitterly cold; he clicked comment and typed quickly.

_Alfred? Are you okay love? I hope this message gets to you before you do anything rash._

Arthur just hoped he would receive the message soon; he wanted his American friend to be okay. He slept restlessly once more and woke cold and groggy, wanting nothing more for this school day to hurry up and end.

Arthur blinked at the screen once more. 'How can this be true?', according to Alfred's facebook message he had run away from home and was now missing. No one could find him, there had been posts all over Alfred's wall asking about him and possible sightings, Arthur just couldn't believe his happy go-lucky American would run away like that. He knew he was having a rough time with the Francis scandal but surely he wouldn't run from the dad's he loved so dearly. Arthur was stunned to say the least.

He had returned from school that day to find out his friend had run away and was not even answering his cell phone anyone. There was nothing Arthur could even do, it wasn't like he could just fly over to America to search for the boy, and he would have no idea where he even went. Arthur just sat there numb, unable to decide what he should do so he reposted the status, thinking it rather silly really because he didn't really have any American friends bar Alfred, but he wanted the sentiment to be the same none the less.

A message popped into his inbox, it must be from someone who wasn't hisfirend though or the name would have chimed in. He clicked on it swiftly and was surprised by the message he had received.

_Hello Arthur, this is Matthew Williams, i am Alfred's cousin from Canada, i was just wondering if maybe you could try and call Alfred. Maybe he will answer if it is you calling, because he has only been hanging up the phone for the rest of us. We are all rather worried and he still hasn't come home, please can you help?_

The boy sounded so despondent, and if his pleading was anything to go by he desperately wanted Alfred to come home to them. Alfred had told him of his cousin in Canada and also been told that they were fairly close, so Arhtur decided to try and talk to him, maybe decipher what has happened.

_Hello Matthew, I am sorry but i do not have Alfred's number. I know he seems to have run away but may i ask why?_

Arthur waited quietly, he eventually stood up and got a cup of tea but when he returned a new message had arrived, it contained a phone number and another very worried sounding boy wanting to see his cousin again.

_Just ring it for me I am begging you; I desperately want him to come home. I think he had an argument with his dads, but it is also to do with the Francis situation he has been going through and it has been rough for him. If you can do this small service for me I will be truly grateful._

Arthur looked at the reply contemplatively; if Alfred wasn't answering his friends an family what made him think he would answer him? Arthur figured he was just desperate, and in need of any kind of hope, it looked like they were all truly worried. A [pang of jealousy and loneliness shot through Arthur's body, the jealous slowly ebbed away but the loneliness stayed, as it did most days, Arthur was used to it. The dull aching emptiness of having no-one who cared.

_I guess I could try. _

Arthur told him, he had to see if Alfred would talk to him. His stomach cart wheeled when he realised this may be the first time he would ever talk to his American friend, his hands quickly grew sweaty and he because nervous about dialling that number. Was it really his place to do anything? Arthur put the phone next to his laptop and shut out the light, he knew that they would find Alfred soon so he was sure he wouldn't need to worry.

Arthur only wished he listened to his conscience sometimes.


	12. Chapter 12

Alfred woke to the sound of the car pulling over and gentle shake of the shoulder. "Heya Honey, we're here" The lady, who Alfred soon found out, was called Clarisse, said softly to him. Alfred panicked for a moment that he had fallen asleep, but he was just relieved that she was a genuinely good soul and no harm was to come from her. Alfred bleary eyed and a little dazed looked out the car at the city around him. The sun setting far in the distance and the city began to come alive, with bright lights and noise, music and shouting, laughing and party lights beaming upwards into the fading light of day. Alfred looked around him with wide eyes, he had never been in the city before, or any kind of city for that matter, maybe once as a child when he had visited work with his father's but other than that he was a city virgin.

Alfred smiled at Clarisse then clambered out of the car; even though she continued to look at him with worry she let him out peacefully. "Hey, how old are ya chick?"

"Eig-eighteen" Alfred said, but the stutter and the definite blush that was splashed across his cheeks made her beg to differ.

"Are ya gonna be alright?" She asked even more worriedly. Alfred nodded enthusiastically, willing nothing more than to start his adventure. He had left home last night, so had been gone for the whole day already, he was glad that he was about to start his exploring.

"I'll be fine, I have relatives here" Alfred said lying through his teeth but grinning to try and fool her. She didn't look convinced so instead she handed over her phone number and drove away from him. Alfred sagged in relief and then took out his phone, his eyes grew wide when he looked at the list of missed calls, there were so many from so many different people. The most prominent by far though was his daddy, John, with over fifty calls to his mobile. Alfred gulped nervously. He really was worrying them wasn't he? He chewed on his lip nervously but decided to turn his phone to vibrate and slip it back into his bag.

Alfred looked around him soon figuring out where he was and found the sign of Broadway and at the corner of Chambers Street. Alfred smiled to himself. 'He was on Broadway!' he couldn't believe it he was on Broadway. Alfred laughed and did a mini spin at his current situation. Then his eyes began to roam and look around at all that surrounded him, the tall ominous looking buildings that rose so far above him, he had never been around such grand structures before, it was slightly daunting but he couldn't stop feeling so excited. It was weird to see the smattering of green trees and grass next to him, but it made him feel a little comforted, knowing he wasn't completely free from nature. It was certainly odd to see such greenery surrounded by those steel giants that stood so tall, and suddenly Alfred felt so very insignificant.

He began to walk down Broadway, uncertain about going down any other streets; he barely knew this vast city and wandering off somewhere he knew so little of terrified him. Alfred soon found that fear set in. After the initial excitement and adrenaline that pounded through him, he began to grow worried, it wasn't even daylight anymore and he was out in the middle of the streets where there could be criminals and perverts about. He was walking for a good hour before he came across a small McDonald's at the corner of Broadway and Thomas Street; he felt a little relieved and went in to get some food in his now growling stomach.

It was fairly late so he was lucky it was even open, he purchased his food and ate hungrily, he hadn't realised quite how hungry he was until the smell of food had caught onto him. After he asked them if there was a cheap place he could stay and surprisingly they were incredibly helpful, they gave him very detailed instructions on how to get to a Comfort Inn, on Manhattan Bridge, Alfred was lucky because the waitress said she had recently had relatives stay there a week or so ago. Alfred kept getting luckier and luckier. First with the Clarisse and now with the waitress, it made Alfred feel a little comforted.

Alfred had quite a walk to go on but it meant he got to see all the old buildings and scenery as he walked. He was a little worried due to the time but he had a little confidence now he knew where he was headed, and knowing he could get a place to stay made him feel calmer. Alfred just couldn't keep his gaze in front of him, the buildings were far too magnificent for him to do so, and so many old buildings that made him look up at them in awe. Alfred spotted the sign for Walker Street and turned left down the road, feeling a little more nervous when looking at the smaller road, which had the same tall buildings bordering it. It was awfully dark down the street if not for the street lights lighting his way Alfred would not have been able to walk down this road by himself.

The road soon opened up a little bit and the buildings became smaller, making the road seem far more welcoming than it had previously done and Alfred felt his troubles eased a bit. He was incredibly wary, hiding and keeping his head bowed if he saw any strangers walking near him, but it was hard. He wanted to keep looking at all of the sights New York City had to offer him. He had to keep an eye out for when the road changed to Canal Street, but following the street signs it was easy enough. As the lady had told him he eventually saw foreign Chinese shops and restaurants all around him, informing him he was in China Town, he continued past them on the main street.

When he reached the end of the street it opened up completely with a large bank on his right it was a stone building with a domed roof, it was a beautiful building with an exquisite design. A large open road lay before him and just across the street Alfred could see the Manhattan Bridge. He smiled and made his way over to the magnificent structure that was there before his very eyes. He didn't need to cross it but he didn't see any harm in looking at it. Taking in all the carvings forged into the dense rock he was truly inspired, with realisation that even buildings could hold such beauty. Alfred made his way to one of the tall pillars and looked out between it at the road, truly at peace with where he was right now, even though he knew he shouldn't be.

He knew he should be missing being at home in the warm, sitting with his fathers and his uncles at dinner. He had never thought he was the kind of person to do something to bold and rash, always sticking to the stereotypes that had been laid before him. Alfred was the jock, the popular kid, the oblivious idiot, the lovable dork. All those things he never asked to be, he never asked to be popular, and he never asked to be a jock. Did it matter he wanted to be nice to everyone? What was wrong with wanting to help people or liking comics? Why did liking sports make him a jock? He was just a normal; person with all these labels forced onto him, and now he was just a runaway.

A disturbed child who had fled his parents' home.

Alfred sighed despondently at the conclusion he came to in his mind. He just wanted to do something crazy, something no one would expect of him and he was glad he had done it. Sort off. Okay, so Alfred detested this idea and was terrified for his life, not even mentioning the fact his parents will probably hate him forever. Alfred thought of Francis, and how he woke to that 'in a relationship' status and how much it had hurt him. He had only been free from him for a day and had already moved on? How was that fair? It was disgusting and it made his heart hurt with pain.

Alfred heard his phone buzz for what felt the hundredth time deep within the confines of his bag and he looked back at it warily, maybe he should answer it. Just once.

The hard sudden realization came to him with that incoming call that he was completely alone in New York with no way of getting home. He shut off his phone this time and then put it back into his bag, leaving the architecture behind and heading in the direction the waitress had so diligently wrote down for him. He found Chrystie Street easy enough and began the walk down until he found the correct hotel and hopefully he could get some rest. It wasn't all that far down the street where he found the hotel and he breathed in a sigh of relief as he entered the building, running to the front desk in haste.

Alfred was oddly surprised that they let him get a room but when he showed them the credit card his parents had entrusted to him for emergencies they seemed more than willing, he smiled his sunshine smile at them and they just seemed to melt. They luckily had three rooms left, Alfred went for the cheapest option which was a single room and led him down the narrow hallway and up the few flights of stairs to his room, Alfred walked in quickly and flumped heavily on the bed. He didn't look around the modestly decorated room, with its magnolia walls and large windows to the side. Alfred lit both lamps so the room was no longer dark and Alfred could finally look at the room around him. There was a small desk in the very corner of the room but Alfred chose to ignore it completely and weakly he pulled off his shoes and his bag from his back then breathed in a shaky breath.

He pulled his phone from his bag and with slightly teary eyes he rang the first number that had been bugging him all day. "Alfred! Where are you?" His father shouted down the phone to him, and Alfred completely froze. The sound of utter panic in his father's voice was tangible and he couldn't do it. He couldn't talk to his father after he had left him so suddenly, done something so completely stupid as running away from the most amazing parents in the world. Why did he do something as utterly stupid as this?

Alfred hung up.

He was too scared. Too scared to talk to him knowing they would drag him home and he would be in so much trouble he couldn't even think straight anymore. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid, done something so irrational and now he was stuck in a rut. How was he ever going to face going home again?

Alfred weakly pulled at the duvet beneath him and finally pulled it over himself, wallowing in his own selfishness and lay there awake all night. When morning came he wandered to the reception and asked to lengthen his stay, he was allowed two more nights in that room, and if he needed more than other rooms would free up afterwards. He thanked them profusely and returned to his room. Not once leaving his room, he no longer had any inkling to see the city that lay outside of those doors.

~o-O-0-O-o~

John woke up on the sofa a soft blanket on him, he heard the distant sound of voices in the kitchen, and he could distinctly hear Derrick's voice getting louder as each minute passed. John didn't even try to go and see what was going on. His boy had been gone for two days now after the first day of panicking John had become a shell of himself, he didn't move from the sofa most of the time and his phone never left his reach. Always right there waiting. But Alfred never called, not after that passing call the first night. John hadn't even bothered to go in for work, although Derrick had called in for the both of them, he couldn't even seem to make it off the sofa. He knew they were all missing Alfred terribly, searching for anything about where he might have gone, what he was doing. Anything.

Even his body.

John's eyes began to tear at the thought and he shook it from his mind, Alfred can't be dead he just can't. He would feel it if he was, he was sure of it. They had no tangible leads so far all they knew was that he had headed east after he left home, where to, no one knew. "Johnny" His sister-in-law Cassie had arrived yesterday, the second day Alfred was missing and she had been so strong for all of them, never once crying or breaking down because she needed to help her brothers. "C'mon honey, you need to get up and do something. You can't stay like this forever"

"Yes I can. I will till Alfred comes home" John said sighing at her persistence.

"Johnny, you need to try and live in case-"

"No! Al is coming home, he will!" John said sitting up quickly, trying to rid his mind of those callous words.

"I know he is, but when he does you need to be well enough to look after him. How will he feel seeing you like this?" She said softly. "C'mon I am taking Mattie around town since he isn't here often please come with us" John shook her hand from his arm and stood grabbing his coat and shoes, Cassie smiled slightly at his willingness to actually stand up and called Mattie down from upstairs.

"Why would you let a child go in the middle of a city?" Derrick yelled from the kitchen. A quiet voice responded meekly. John's interest piqued considerably and he wandered into the kitchen in a slight daze, Derrick looking at him in surprise. "You okay honey?" He asked quietly. John nodded and wound his arm around Derrick's waist, burying his face in his chest trying to breathe in his scent.

"What's going on?" He asked softly.

"We have a lead" Derrick replied, indicating to the female police officer sitting in the corner of the room.

"A lead?" John asked curiously. Derrick sighed and pressed his fingers to his eyes in exaggeration, this was giving him a headache not that he hadn't had a headache since he knew Alfred was gone.

"Yes, some woman called Clarisse called the hotline after seeing something on Facebook about it. She rang in saying she had driven him to New York City"

"New York!" John squeaked, his face going pale white as he thought of his boy in the huge city somewhere.

"Yeah, black hair, tall, well-built, named Alfred F. Jones" Derrick said softer after seeing his husbands face.

"Are we going to New York?" John asked wide eyed.

"And start looking where? Such a big place and we don't know our way around at all, how could we possibly find him. They have notified all the authorities out there to look out for him though. We'll just have to wait" Derrick said. He knew what was coming next; he could already see the tears welling in John's eyes as he told him all he knew. Soon John dissolved into tears and Derrick led him back to the front room while he clung to him. It was difficult dealing with him as he was. His husband wasn't one, who would usually cry so easily, far from it, but this seemed to have broken some kind of wall inside of him and anything seemed to set him off. Last night he had cried for half an hour because Derrick made hamburgers for dinner, which just so happened to be Alfred's favourite.

He sat John down and tried to soothe him but nothing seemed to work lately, he was frustrated that there was nothing he could do, nothing at all worked because all that John wanted was Alfred to come home. "Uncle Johnny, mum wanted to know if you were still coming" An incredibly nervous voice said from the doorway. There stood Matthew, twisting his feet nervously while looking away from his Uncles embrace with a slight blush. Oddly he looked similar to Alfred, even though they had no birth connections at all, which had always perplexed their family. Although Mathew's nearly violet eyes and longer wavy hair echoed their differences. Their personalities are polar opposites and people soon saw their complete individuality once they were in a room together.

"Mattie I don't think he can go in this state" Derrick said sympathetically trying his best to smile at his darling nephew. Matthew looked up at them with wide eyes and then looked at John who was a mess from crying under Derricks care and he too burst into scared tears. He ran into Derrick's waiting arms who held them both close.

"I just wish Alfred was home" Matthew uttered quietly. "I miss him" He added. He felt John's hand clasp over his own and all three of them sat there quietly. Cassie soon joined them and enveloped Mattie into a tight hug, letting him cry for his missing cousin who he held so dear.

"C'mon boys, we got to get it together for when Alfie gets home, because he is I promise you" She told them, as she watched Derrick's eyes begin to water. He coughed to try and cover his sob and then brushed the tears from his face, clinging ever tightly to his husband.

"Ye-yeah, we have to be happy and smiling for when he comes home. He is really angry and really sad right now and he just needs us to be there for him" Derrick added, his voice chocking initially when he began talking.

"That's the spirit, we'll all help him when he is ready to ask for it" She added softly.

"So we have to be patient and wait for him to call us" Derrick said kissing John's head and rubbing his arm soothingly. "Because he will call, I am sure of it"

~o-O-0-O-o~

Alfred had been gone for two days now, nearing on three and the sky turned black again. Arthur sat there worriedly looking at his computer and then at his phone which lay silently next to him. He had to do it now; he knew that he had to at least try. He opened his phone and looked in his contact list, seeing Alfred's name quickly, he sat there for a few minutes, his hand shaking softly before he finally pressed the call button.

_Ring, ring._

_Ring, ring._

_Ring, ri-_

"Who is this?" An American voice answered the phone and Arthur felt his heart racing in his chest. He was so nervous, how could he possibly talk to this boy after talking to him silently for a few months.

"Hello Alfred" Arthur finally said, and it felt exhilarating, he was finally speaking to his friend from far away and he felt like a complete moron. What else could he say though? He decided to just stay silent until Alfred decided he would reply.

"Who is this, your voice sounds strange" His voice seemed to purr back at Arthur and he felt as though his ears were being sung too. It made his face creep into a burning blush.

"Um well its-its Arthur, Arthur Kirkland" He responded quietly and the intake of breath meant Alfred had just realised quickly who he was.

"A-Arthur? Why did you call me? Who gave you this number? Oh my god I can't believe I am talking to you!" His voice exclaimed loudly, there was a sigh and then he quietly said. "Your accent is so amazing" He added making Arthur's face heat further.

"Um maybe I should ask about you first?" Arthur said softly, he knew that the boy had run away so he must be emotionally unstable right now. Even though Arthur himself knew he wouldn't be of much use to the boy, maybe he could at least persuade him to call home.

"Uh-maybe-I don't know-I guess" His voice was like music to Arthur's ears, it wanted to make him curl up and fall to sleep listening to it but right now he could also hear the strain in it.

"Alfred love, I know you ran away" Arthur heard him keen at the sound of his voice, especially when he called him love. It made weird feelings brew inside of him, just knowing he had this kind of effect on the boy, it made him feel special, made him feel wanted.

"I know-I just-" He stopped and took a deep breath; it sounded as though he was trying his best not to cry. "I can't go home now. They-they are goanna be so mad" Alfred said, his voice breathy and uneven, his voice was rough and he could clearly tell he was trying not to cry now.

"Alfred you are an idiot" Arthur said sighing. He heard Alfred choke out a laugh and all he wanted to do was hug him.

"I get that" He said and this time he chocked out a small sob. "But I messed up real bad Artie, it's all my fault. I even saw my parents doing one of the police interviews, man my daddy wouldn't stop crying" He was actually crying to Arthur on the phone and he just wished he could do something to help him, he wished he could hold his hand and stroke his hair, anything to make him feel better. "I have never seen him cry so badly before. You know he basically begged for me to come home"

"Alfred dear, just go home"

"But I can't-"

"Alfred. Call home, they will get you. I know they would do anything for you"

"But-"

"Alfred. Go. Home" Arthur said sternly one more time and Alfred didn't respond immediately.

"Yeah" He said and he drew another shaky breath. "Yeah"

"Alfred, I will let you go now, goodbye" Arthur said albeit a little reluctantly.

"Hey Artie" He said before he hung up. "It was nice talking to you and, well, thanks. I'll call you later" He said softly and then the line went dead. Arthur's heart thumped in his chest, which was exhilarating and so much fun that he found a small smile on his face. The way his stomach flittered with those first tiny butterflies made Arthur realise the predicament he was now in.

He had a damned crush on that American idiot.


End file.
